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aging parents---it's so tough
Old 03-08-2020, 01:01 AM
  #1

My mother in law is dying. She hasn't eaten in 4 weeks and is only taking in ensure drinks and sips of water. I don't know how she's still alive. Hospice nurse comes out almost daily. She lives with is and we are now having to take shifts. Hubs is sleeping while I'm sitting up with her. She is on some heavy duty sleep meds but she's not sleeping! She's stoned out of her mind and fidgiting with the covers I keep trying to get her to lay down but she doesn't seem to know how. She also has alzheimers. She hardly slept all day so she should be sleeping now.

I didn't post this for sympathy...yes I'm taking care of her now but she was a terrible mother in law for 30 years. Mostly posting to help stay awake...had 3 hours sleep yesterday , took a nap for about an hour and not going to bed until about 4 am today.

I'm also worried about my youngest daughter. Her grandmother took care of her when I went back to work. she goes to school about 2 hours away and normally works on the weekend but she's come home for the last 3 weekends to spend time with her grandmother. Because of that she's not been able to work so her paycheck has been really small. She's super stressed and upset about the impending death.


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I hear you
Old 03-08-2020, 02:40 AM
  #2

I just happen to be up and read your post. I just want to wish you well and encourage you to continue being there for your mother in law. Although she was terrible to you, I am sure your husband and daughter have a new type of appreciation and love for you. It isnít the easiest thing to do; to love someone who has not shown you their best side, but you will be blessed and will sleep well knowing that your are showing love. A funny insurance commercial with Tina Fey in it has her make a statement to her husbandís mom that says: I canít believe you gave birth to someone I love. It made me chuckle. I myself am a newer mother in law, and so far, so good. I keep within a respectful boundary and let them establish themselves. I have my own business to tend to, so I stay busy enough.😋. Hopefully you can get some good sleep soon, and her too. God bless you and your family. Iím praying for your family and each member because it affects each person in a different way.
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Old 03-08-2020, 02:41 AM
  #3

Quote:
I didn't post this for sympathy...yes I'm taking care of her now but she was a terrible mother in law for 30 years.
It's nice that you are helping to take care of her.

My thoughts are with your youngest daughter and other family members who had loved your MIL over the years. May their loving memories carry them through this difficult time and in the years to come when they think of her.
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Old 03-08-2020, 06:19 AM
  #4

You will never regret showing this loving care to your mil, even though she was not kind to you. What an example of grace to your daughter and husband.

Praying for your entire family, for peace and strength during these final days.
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Aging Parents
Old 03-08-2020, 07:22 AM
  #5

Taking care of someone who is dying is difficult. Your mother in law must have a very strong will to live to keep going with little food and no sleep.

I hope you get the much needed sleep you require soon. I hope you daughter can accept her grandmother's death when it finally comes.

Bless you for being such a good care taker.


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Old 03-08-2020, 07:37 AM
  #6

That's tough. You're doing the right thing, though, and setting a good example for your daughter. Call it building good Karma and hang in there.
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Old 03-08-2020, 08:57 AM
  #7

You are doing the right thing and I admire you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Admiration
Old 03-08-2020, 09:10 AM
  #8

What a kind and generous thing you are doing. You are showing so much grace to all in your family.
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Old 03-09-2020, 05:59 PM
  #9

I read your post the other day and didnít know what to say but wanted to say something to give you a lift/hope/smile. I canít find the right words....
Hang in there! Sending good thoughts for you!!
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Old 03-09-2020, 06:33 PM
  #10

Full of grace is what you are! I don't know your religious beliefs but I do know this is the type of love the Bible speaks of. You will not have regrets because of this.

Even so, I know how difficult and exhausting this is and I am sorry you are having to go through it. My heart is with you and so are my prayers. I hope right now you are getting some much needed rest.

Nancy


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