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Support group update!
Old 09-07-2019, 05:46 AM
  #1

Last night we were small. The night flowed very differently than “normal” to day the least. Two former leaders threw what I am calling public “temper tantrums” and took lots of people with them. They sent out a text to over 100 people detailing their “betrayal” and leaving the church completely. Two other former leaders were banned from the grounds during meetings after details of how they had been treating people were revealed (telling confidential information and making unreasonable demands on their mentees). Two other women leaders decided not to return, but they were close to the couple who threw the public temper tantrum via texting - so not surprising.

On the other hand, several former leaders and members came back because they heard that people who had treated them badly were gone. This includes a couple former leaders who now want to be involved again.

Soooo.... we now have somewhere between 6 and 10 leaders when we used to have almost 20. I usually am an assistant leader in a small group but actually led last night because the woman who usually leads the group was one of the ladies who walked. (One of the returning leaders slipped right into place and acted as my assistant.)

The mood was so light and cheerful with everyone coming back and mentally preparing for the transition coming up. During dinner someone brought a bunch of nerf dart guns and we were having so much just playing. People stepped up to fill the volunteer roles that are left open now. We just really had fun seeing friends who have been gone for months or years walking back in the doors for potluck dinner and share groups.

We have a nice long meeting planned next Sunday afternoon to discuss/form our two-fold plan to finish out the year and transition to the new format. If it continues to go smoothly, there’s a chance we will be able to keep the group going - just on a different night of the week. We just aren’t putting our money on that possibility. We have to tap new people to teach many of the upcoming large group lessons and plan our Christmas service project. Lots of gaping holes, but also lots of willing “hole fillers” are showing up.


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Old 09-07-2019, 05:53 AM
  #2

I’m so happy for you, Zephie, that something so important to you is working out. Fingers crossed it continues to be positive.

As a non-church-member, I must admit that I’m shocked by the lack of what I think of as Christianity. Probably just me though, just my uninformed understanding.
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Old 09-07-2019, 06:02 AM
  #3

I have seen some of the most “un-Christian” crap go down in all of this. A lot of the stuff that’s been revealed were things I had no real clue were going on. I tend to “stay in my own lane” when it comes to many things so it’s just tearing me up to hear people’s stories. I feel they have the right to tell them and have support to process their pain and air their grievances. I’ve cried a couple times hearing some of the stories. Almost all issues were coming from the women’s side. It’s probably good we cleared out four of the six female leaders. Now we can rebuild our team with people who are trustworthy.

I think, no I know, we should have had a change of leadership at least two years ago. It’s like a breath of fresh air.
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Old 09-07-2019, 06:55 AM
  #4

I'm glad it can rebuild on firmer ground.
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Support group
Old 09-07-2019, 06:58 AM
  #5

Sounds like those of you who are still standing will benefit the most from a new format, new blood, etc. and good riddance to bad company.

Is it bad form of me to ask what kind of support group this is? Is it a sort of bible study group? Emotional support? Just curious.

And must agree, some of the most unChristian like behavior comes from religious organizations. It’s why I finally left my church.


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Old 09-07-2019, 07:04 AM
  #6

It’s a 12 step from a Christian perspective with small groups that address way more than just addiction. We have (in the time I’ve been there) groups focusing on addiction (not just chemical dependency), eating disorders, abuse recovery, codependency, anger management, single parenting, “life issues” (I hate that term - it’s a catch all for “I don’t really know what I’m dealing with”), returning military, and divorce care. The actual small groups have have morphed and changed depending on who has been present over the years.
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Old 09-07-2019, 07:07 AM
  #7

Sometimes something needs to blow up in order to be reborn.
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Old 09-07-2019, 07:16 AM
  #8

Glad to hear that the support groups are going better. Change is hard but often necessary for growth.
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Old 09-07-2019, 07:50 AM
  #9

Thank you for the clarification. Sounds like a very good group.
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Old 09-07-2019, 03:36 PM
  #10

I am happy to hear things are going well and changes are positive.


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Old 09-07-2019, 04:46 PM
  #11

Zephie- I have always found that you are a "grower"...I know there is a better word for it, but can't think right now. Through everything you have shared here you have always been able to see and work thru the issues and come out with better perspectives. It is unfortunate what is going on, but you are a support system for those people now. They are so lucky to have you.
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Old 09-07-2019, 06:22 PM
  #12

I am sorry too that those kinds of things happen in the church, but we're human and not infallible, so they do.

It does sound like you all needed to clear the air and the result of last night has been positive. I am glad you are moving in a much better direction now.

Nancy
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