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Clique-ish?-advice
Old 03-06-2014, 01:17 PM
 
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We had a book parade today. Teachers and students were encouraged to dress up as a book character. There are five members on my team.

When I walked in this morning, three of my teammates were dressed in identical green shirts covered with cut-out letters and green visors. I thought the outfits looked cute, but I was deeply saddened that they hadn't invited me and my other teammate to join them. My one teammate went out and bought the shirts and visors for herself and two of my teammates and cut out the letters for them.

I went down to speak with the other teammate about it. She was feeling hurt, just as I was.

We plan to speak with the three of them tomorrow. My feeling is that if my teammate had the time to buy three green shirts, couldn't she have bought two more so that all could have joined in on the costume? Or at least let us know so that we could have worn a green shirt? They knew about it yesterday, because they bought the shirts and cut out the letters yesterday.

It is awful to think about how clique-ish people can be.


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Old 03-06-2014, 02:18 PM
 
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Nasty, nasty, nasty.
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Old 03-06-2014, 02:27 PM
 
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I agree that it is very clique-ish. I could definetly see that happening in my school. I suppose you can say one of 2 things. You can confront them about it. Or you could go the opposite way and ask them about their costumes and how they came up with the idea. Put them on the spot. Either way they seem like jerks.
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Old 03-06-2014, 02:44 PM
 
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I agree it is cliquey, but I would let it go. Similar things happen at my school all the time, and it's just not worth getting into. You know what they did, deep down so do they. I've seen people turn it around on others who were trying to air their feelings.
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I agree with
Old 03-06-2014, 02:56 PM
 
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pink.sparkles. People like this often know they are excluding others. They like it. And at this age, they probably won't change. Why waste your breath? They will likely find a way to blame you.


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Old 03-06-2014, 03:03 PM
 
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Just plain mean.
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:45 PM
 
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I know how you feel and it is upsetting. People will just do these things and may not even realize it. Maybe those teachers are friendly outside of work? Honestly, if their actions don't have a negative impact on your teaching and the kids, then maybe just let it go. You can suggest that for future activities you all agree on a plan. I am new to my school, but I'm not the only new teacher this year. The other new teacher barely says anything, but all the teachers go out of their way to help this teacher and give this teacher all kinds of stuff for lessons...I don't get anything. I just feel like I don't belong there and still feel like an outsider most of the time. The teachers aren't mean and some of them include me in their conversations, but most of the time my comments in a conversation are just ignored. It's hard to sit in a room with others when they are having conversations and I can't join in, because I pretty much know at this point in the year, my comments will be ignored or are just not wanted. When I used to work in a couple of office jobs there was always a little group to sit with at lunch or get a cup of coffee with during our break. I guess I just miss having friendly conversations with coworkers who are dealing with a lot of the same stuff I am. I really don't think I will be going back to this school next year and I don't think I will be missed, but I don't really take it personally anymore, you shouldn't either.
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Mean Girls!
Old 03-06-2014, 05:27 PM
 
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Do not confront them. They knew exactly what they were doing when you and the other teacher were not included. They have had many years of practice being Mean Girls.
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Oh They Knew
Old 03-06-2014, 07:09 PM
 
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And if they didn't they are incredibly stupid.
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be an original creative teacher
Old 03-06-2014, 08:40 PM
 
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What character did you and the other teacher select? I am sure your outfits were just as cute or better.

These teachers knew what they were doing by excluding others. Your administrators and fellow teachers also noticed it too I am sure.

Let it go and focus on the great teaching you do every day.


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Mean Girls Grown Up
Old 03-07-2014, 09:15 AM
 
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Whenever I read posts like this I think of a quote from the movie Spring Breakdown, where Amy Phoeler's character says something along the line of "You know what happens when popular mean girls grow up.....well, they stay popular and mean. But they will never know love, true love, Mary J. Blige style."
Adults who act like this will never change. I understand that your feelings were hurt and honestly I know mine would be too, but I just try to think about how sad their lives are if they get joy from hurting other people. My saying is "I'm too old for drama".
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I am dealing with the same type of situation
Old 03-08-2014, 12:46 PM
 
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Mean Girls=Insecure Girls
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Mean?
Old 03-08-2014, 03:08 PM
 
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Honestly I do not see how this is mean. Perhaps they were all sitting around talking and the idea came up and they went with it. Thoughtless not to have included the two of you perhaps but I doubt it was done with the intention of exclusion or making you feel bad. Eh, IDK...seems like a mountain is being made out of a molehill here.
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Mean Girls
Old 03-08-2014, 03:26 PM
 
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.. they are all the same. I deal with mean women on my team too. I have put up with a lot of crud over the past three years. It is hard, just do not let it interfere with your teaching.
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