Sad - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

Sad

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Shell's Avatar
Shell Shell is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 407
Senior Member

Shell
 
Shell's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 407
Senior Member
Sad
Old 08-06-2018, 06:21 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

My teammate informed me today that she and my other teammate met multiple times this summer and planned. I asked why I wasn't invited and she said she thought I was too busy.


Shell is offline   Reply With Quote

Kinderkr4zy's Avatar
Kinderkr4zy Kinderkr4zy is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,447
Senior Member

Kinderkr4zy
 
Kinderkr4zy's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,447
Senior Member

Old 08-06-2018, 06:24 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

That would make me sad too ((hugs)).

I would let them know how important it is for you for your team to be cohesive and make sure they have you cell number and let them know to text you anytime they are meeting so that you can contribute the team.
Kinderkr4zy is offline   Reply With Quote
GraceKrispy's Avatar
GraceKrispy GraceKrispy is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 38,073
Blog Entries: 1
Senior Member

GraceKrispy
 
GraceKrispy's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 38,073
Senior Member

Old 08-06-2018, 06:34 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

I'm sorry, that would make me sad, too. I hope you let her know that you'd love to be invited in the future, and I agree with making sure they have your number. I hope you have a good year with your teammates.
GraceKrispy is offline   Reply With Quote
Stevejay
 
 
Guest

Stevejay
 
 
Guest
The Bright Side
Old 08-06-2018, 06:35 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

Look at the bright side of life. Since you didn't know about them planning together, you didn't have to spend a large part of your summer working on that dull stuff. You spent your time doing something else. Don't worry, there will be plenty of time to plan with them in the future.
  Reply With Quote
DSLBUG's Avatar
DSLBUG DSLBUG is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,259
Senior Member

DSLBUG
 
DSLBUG's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,259
Senior Member

Old 08-06-2018, 06:41 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

Iím sorry they were so rude!


DSLBUG is offline   Reply With Quote
Shell's Avatar
Shell Shell is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 407
Senior Member

Shell
 
Shell's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 407
Senior Member

Old 08-06-2018, 06:42 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

They have my number. It's just the way they work. It started last year. Lots of drama. I just didn't think they would be so obvious about it. We don't see eye to eye and it gets worse every year. Last year was basically the last straw as they badmouthed my admin every chance they got. I really like my admin and they don't. Oh well...
Shell is offline   Reply With Quote
MrsWok's Avatar
MrsWok MrsWok is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,060
Senior Member

MrsWok
 
MrsWok's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,060
Senior Member

Old 08-06-2018, 07:16 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

I wouldn't like that at all. My team is very important to me. I would let them know you would like to be included.
MrsWok is offline   Reply With Quote
klarabelle's Avatar
klarabelle klarabelle is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 17,953
Senior Member

klarabelle
 
klarabelle's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 17,953
Senior Member

Old 08-06-2018, 07:22 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

I'd send an e-mail letting them know that in the future you would like to be included in the meetings. I would blind copy admin.
klarabelle is offline   Reply With Quote
whiteturtle's Avatar
whiteturtle whiteturtle is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 516
Senior Member

whiteturtle
 
whiteturtle's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 516
Senior Member

Old 08-07-2018, 04:52 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

I'm sorry they did that. I'm in the same boat you are. One of my teammates told the new principal that we ALL plan together and THEN invited me after years of never inviting me. I declined. The bright side for me is that I can do my own thing and don't have to waste my time with lessons I may not like so much.

I wish adults were as kind to each other as we expect kids to be.
whiteturtle is offline   Reply With Quote
Violets2's Avatar
Violets2 Violets2 is offline
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,621
Senior Member

Violets2
 
Violets2's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,621
Senior Member

Old 08-07-2018, 05:02 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

Sounds like it's a group you don't need/want to be a part of. Good for you! I agree with Stevejay--you enjoyed your free time while they planned. No thank you to working over the summer planning the upcoming school year. I hope you just do your own thing then in the classroom and leave them to their own games.


Violets2 is offline   Reply With Quote
elmo33 elmo33 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 277
Full Member

elmo33
 
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 277
Full Member
Planning
Old 08-07-2018, 05:36 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

I understand ... I tried to plan with and then was left out too... so I did my own thing and when that went well I am pretty sure they complained about me..

Last edited by elmo33; 08-07-2018 at 05:55 AM..
elmo33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Ali'a's Avatar
Ali'a Ali'a is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 566
Senior Member

Ali'a
 
Ali'a's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 566
Senior Member
Sometimes you have to do your own thing
Old 08-07-2018, 05:57 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

I have been on teams that worked well together and it was fun and fulfilling. Now I am on my own due to backstabbing and trying to "one up" all the time.

I do my own thing. Not as fun, but I can still do it and do my job well. You may have to reconcile to doing that too.
Ali'a is offline   Reply With Quote
Gigi814's Avatar
Gigi814 Gigi814 is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 573
Senior Member

Gigi814
 
Gigi814's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 573
Senior Member

Old 08-07-2018, 06:01 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

I was in a similar situation a few years back. It's just awful how mean some adults can be.
Gigi814 is offline   Reply With Quote
KBTeacher's Avatar
KBTeacher KBTeacher is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 169
Full Member

KBTeacher
 
KBTeacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 169
Full Member

Old 08-07-2018, 06:49 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

Like prior posts said - now you have the freedom to implement your own lesson plans. Personally, Iím ok with planning with others, but I find itís easier to implement lessons Iíve come up with myself. Also, you mentioned they donít care for admin either and then your teammate informs you about summer planning without you? Sounds to me like they have trouble working with others in general, not just you. It also shows that they donít care about othersí feelings. Otherwise, why would she go out of her way to let you know they met without you after the fact. Sounds very juvenile on their part. I know itís easier said than done, but let it go and focus on having an awesome year.
KBTeacher is offline   Reply With Quote
Renea's Avatar
Renea Renea is online now
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,679
Senior Member

Renea
 
Renea's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,679
Senior Member

Old 08-07-2018, 06:55 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

I can't imagine how it must feel to be one of your teammates who met without you. Did they feel some pleasure knowing they "got you" for planning without you? Was it fun knowing they would be in control of the curriculum and you wouldn't have input? When they look you in the eyes this fall do they have a sense of superiority knowing they "put you in your place"? How can people be so hurtful?

My therapist friend says that one of the most hurtful human experiences is being left out. It's a common passive aggressive tactic because then people don't have to confront you but can still hurt you. You're left to figure out what happened and why it happened. If you confront the passive aggressive person they can easily invent a reason that you were left out. "We thought you were busy. We thought you would not have been interested. You're overly sensitive and unreasonable." You may call BS but they will deny their intent.

I suggest that you send the group and email. Sweetly thank them for all the work you know the did this summer without you. Clearly state that, as a professional, you request that you be included for all future planning sessions. It best for your students that you all know what the plans will be and that everyone has input.* Tell them you are eager to do your part and your share of the work. Then, include the P in your email this:
1) that you were intentionally left out.
2) that you want to do your share of the planning.
3) that you have the best interest of the students in mind.
4) that you want to work and do your share.

My heart breaks for you, Shell. How do people intentionally inflict such pain? Kill them with kindness, set boundaries to protect yourself, find outside friends to support you and then forgive them. I'm sorry for your pain.

Last edited by Renea; 08-07-2018 at 09:48 AM..
Renea is online now   Reply With Quote
iloveglitter2 iloveglitter2 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 69
Junior Member

iloveglitter2
 
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 69
Junior Member

Old 08-07-2018, 07:36 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

I am sorry!

My teammates wouldn't talk to me last year. It was such a messed up school. I was totally on my own. It bothered me but at the same time I was able to avoid their drama and gossip this way. Just remember their actions are more a reflection of them and not you. Do your best with them and just let it be. If possible go to another school next year.
iloveglitter2 is offline   Reply With Quote
FUNNYJOKER's Avatar
FUNNYJOKER FUNNYJOKER is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 52
Junior Member

FUNNYJOKER
 
FUNNYJOKER's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 52
Junior Member

Old 08-07-2018, 08:01 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

If I were in the OP's position, I would consider myself having been given free rein to do whatever I want to in my classroom. You guys decided to plan without me? That tells me that you aren't concerned with what I'll choose to do in my classroom with my students.

If it's in writing, I'd screenshot it and print it.

I have two colleagues who dislike a unit that I still teach. It's a wonderful unit and even though it's slightly outdated (mid 90s), it helps the students out tremendously. Plus, it's cheesy and the students love that.
Did I mention my colleagues stopped teaching that unit because it requires a lot of work on the teacher's part?
FUNNYJOKER is offline   Reply With Quote
NJ Teacher's Avatar
NJ Teacher NJ Teacher is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,800
Senior Member

NJ Teacher
 
NJ Teacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,800
Senior Member
I hate that dynamic of three people
Old 08-07-2018, 12:30 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

We had five people at the grade level last year, but I would only consider myself to be close to two of the others. The two would often plan things together like grants, presentations etc., things which I would have gladly participated in and given my contributions had I known about them. For them not to include you is hurtful, even if it was unintended.
NJ Teacher is offline   Reply With Quote
Mugs Mugs is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 360
Full Member

Mugs
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 360
Full Member

Old 08-10-2018, 11:23 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

I coming from a district where the administration wants us to "be on the same page" - teaching the same things in the same teaching style. . . they are fearful that one classroom will get more instruction than another on certain concepts and skills . . . they want every student in a grade level to get the very same . . . ?????? The above is a debate all on its own. :-)

If I would have been in your shoes, I would have been a little angry. Then I would blow it off as I enjoyed the rest of my summer vacation. Repeat "summer vacation" = "summer break."

Not only to exclude a team member (me) from giving input and thoughts in decisions for my grade level, they would have disrespected my summer break.

The days off during summer are just that, days off. The contract I signed has the number of contact days with students and additional number of days assigned as development days or work days.

If one volunteers their personal time, that's their choice.

But if working in a "team" and the work will affect everyone's classroom on the "team" for the coming school year - than this work can wait for the development days that are on contract before school starts and this work can be done throughout the year during those required collaborative meetings.

I don't like to be "expected" to work for FREE. I value my skills, my experience, and my time.

I am guessing it is either a "power play" of a few members of the "team" who want "control" of everyone's classroom or the few individuals that don't have a clue what to do and need constant pats on the back assuring them that every thing they are doing and thinking is "just wonderful" and they need to be told daily that others believe in them. Who knows?

I guess I have always wondered why teachers can become our own worst enemies in terms of respecting each other's personal time, respecting what each of us can bring to the table, and in the end, our professions.

I guess "Shell" I am sad that this crap is happening to you.

Last edited by Mugs; 08-10-2018 at 11:41 AM..
Mugs is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:52 AM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net