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blanche46 blanche46 is offline
 
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blanche46
 
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Too nice???
Old 09-13-2009, 11:12 AM
 
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Hey I wondered if anyone has any advice on how to stop being the "nice Sub" or if it is even a problem.

I work at only one school, (the one my children attend), I have known most of these kids since they were small. When the school first opened 5 years ago i was a volunteer here, but about 3 1/2 years ago I began subbing.

At first you know it is just getting the hang of things so you let little things slide, and every year I try to get a little tougher...but the first thing I hear is when kids see me is : "Yeah, it the nice sub...we like you!" Which of course initially makes you feel great, but then I wonder if they like me because I'm nice but fair...or they think I am a pushover! I try to follow all of the rules of the class and I always get the work done left by the teacher, but I always still wonder if I should be tougher and how do you change this kind of reputation and be taken seriously.

What made me really think, is that I was subbing in MS the other day, pre-algebra, and the work the teacher left was less than I think he thought. So I told the students if they were done they should finish any work for that class or another or study for any remaining tests they might have that day.

All complied and were glad to have the time to study for an upcoming Geography test except 2. These 2 students decided they couldn't find anything constructive to do just goof around. So according to the teacher anyone giving me a hardtime was to be sent to the teacher next store and he would take care of it. I told the worse of the 2 to get his things and go nextdoor...he refused, I told him again he refused so I told that he better find something constructive to do then or I would give him something i.e. more pre-algebra problems that would keep him busy. The other one quicky found a book to read but the other still continued to dilly dally, finally it was about 2 min. till lunch and he has the nerve to tell me, Mr........, lets us go 2 min early and starts to get up, I told him, Mr.......... is not here today and I would gladly stay with the class during my lunch should he not sit down and wait for me to let them go, all of the other students turned to him, told him to sit down and be quite, because they were hungry and he angrilly complied. Then I let the students go one at a time until he was last out the door. I made sure I left a note for the regular teacher as to his behavior, and I would check in the next day to be sure all was alright.

When I did, the teacher made a comment like, "Don't worry, IF you ever sub in this class again these 2 will have extra work to do."

Should it bother me that he said "IF"? Do you think I was too nice? This student IS like this with everyone, and I couldn't just drag him out of the room. How do I get him to think I mean business next time and get him to listen? I try to treat students the way I would treat my own children, with respect and kindness, do I need to be really MEAN??? and how do I do this???



Last edited by blanche46; 09-13-2009 at 11:39 AM.. Reason: didn't finish
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YILuv2Teach YILuv2Teach is offline
 
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YILuv2Teach
 
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Old 09-13-2009, 12:52 PM
 
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The only mistake I see is that once you told the student he had to leave, you needed to follow through with that. If you had to ask the next door teacher to come get him, or call the office to have them help then that's what should have been done. I completely understand where you are coming from though, and I would have probably sat there like a deer in the headlights if a student had outright refused to leave, trying to figure out what I needed to do. So, of course it's always easier when you're aren't the one in the situation or in hindsight.

I've learned that I give too many warnings and because of that the students learn that they don't have to listen the first time since I will probably warn them again (and maybe even again) before I actually do anything. It's a learning process and Im working on how to better communicate my expectations/consequences and then having a plan for how I will implement them.

Make a plan of action for what you will do when a student is not listening to you etc. If you are being fair and consistent in how you hand out consequences usually the only student(s) that will think you are mean are the trouble maker(s) who keeps getting caught by you.
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yoohoo yoohoo is offline
 
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Old 09-13-2009, 02:53 PM
 
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Oh man! Students like that are soooo draining!!!! I had one of those the last year I was subbing...it was in MS for ELA and the student just wouldn't zip it!!! Apparently, he had diarrhea of the mouth...BLAH BLAH BLAH while everybody around him were doing what was asked...

at first, I ignored him because they just want your attention to take you off task; then it becomes a game of gotcha (" I didn't do anything") so I came to the conclusion since students like these crave attention I'll give you attention....

I go over and hover or literally sit next to them and look directly at them and just watch...no comments/no nothing/ just watch what they're donig...eventually they get tired of all the attention they get on track...

unfortantely, it does take away from the other students, but they're the ones who are usually on task so I don't worry
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Old 09-13-2009, 03:44 PM
 
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give him a choice, "Leave now or get written up." Actually he is already going to get written up anyway, but he doesn't need to know that yet.
If he doesn't get up promptly then start writing up his referral. Then go to the phone and have someone from the office come get him. Hand them the referral. Done.
Except, what would you do if no one from the office comes to get him? Ever had that happen? "No one is available right now." All that high priced help and "no one is available?" Not a vice principal, not a security guard, not a counselor, not a secretary even. That's one of the most sickening feelings a sub can have. You are on your own. The kids see that and it gets worse.
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blanche46 blanche46 is offline
 
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Old 09-13-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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I guess I should have made him go, and I feel bad about that, but usually a student will listen when told more than once...and I ALWAYS hover over the disruptive kids and that usually works too...I guess I was just surprised by the level of boldness that he showed...he was this way last year but when he came in to class that day it seemed that he had matured and I guess I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he had changed!

Also, we have changed MS vice principals for the second time in two years and although the students were intimidated by the first vice principal, the one last year was a softy and I'm not so sure about the current one(it's only been 3 weeks) so they don't seem to think going to the office is that bad, and even if he did go to the room "nextdoor", from what I have heard the teacher just would have made him do his work there, only thing different is he would have been with him and not me.

Plus, I don't want to send a student out just because they were talking...abusing the fact that I could send the bad kids next door...I guess I never really know when to send them away...I don't want to send them to the office for every little thing like some subs do. I feel I should be able to handle at least some of this on my own...but maybe I am too nice?!?!??! I hate the fact that they even put me in the position to make that choice and doubt myself, it really IS exhausting!!!


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