I am hoping you all would share how old you were when you first became a parent. I am really ready to be a mom, but there are some things going on with DH's job that would make it a not so good idea. So, we will put off our plans. I am 30, soon to be 31. It would be another 6-9 months before we begin actively trying. I'd probably be almost 33 before I had my first child. I really wanted a large family (3-5 children). I don't know that this will happen now.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself tonight. I realize that I'm not that old...but I feel old. And it feels like forever until having a child is even an option..and then there is no guarentee I will get pregnant (although no reason, other than age, that I would not be able to).
Son # 1 - I was 29
Son # 32 - I was 31
Child # 3 did not materialize as we decided not to let the kids outnumber the parents!
So you have # 1 at 33, # 2 at 35 and # 3 at 37 if you are brave, and everything works out right. But don't worry. God makes things work out according to his plan. His plans are smarter than ours anyway.
I was twenty and still in college when I had my DD. My best friend was 25 when she got married, 37 when she had her first, 39 when she had her second and 42 when she had her third. I'm sure everything will be just fine.
I was a ripe "old" 24 when Todd Edward came along.
I was an older, riper 28 when Justin Alexander burst on the scene.
I was 32 when Erika Nicole graced the world with her presence. Oh me. Oh my. Have girls last, IF you have any! They operate by different rules than boys, and they often remind you of yourself.
There really isn't a too old. Do what is good for you, your body, and your spouse. No one else can tell you what is best for you.
We only have the one child. We figured if we had one we would have to do two so we didn't have an only child. Neither of us was particularly thrilled with the whole infant experience. An only child is okay.
Got married at age 31 or 32 and became automatic dad to a 9 year old boy from my wife's previous relationship. Had our next child when I was 33 and our last child when I was 35/36. My wife is 2 years older than me.
Too young. I was 21 with my first and 25 with my second. I am turning 33 soon and having my third. This time I feel much more prepared and able to give to a baby.
My mom was 33 when she had me. My step mom was 36 and 38 when she had my half-siblings. You are not too old. I was too young!
That is what they called me, a woman with raging hormones, and they all lived. I was 30 with #1 and 31 at delivery. I was 35 with #2 and 36 at delivery. You can still have your dream family.
I was 31 when I had my first, 33 with my second. If we go for a 3rd (which I am hoping), I will be 36 or 37 (I just turned 35 this March, so I would be too optimistic to think I will still be 35)
#1 when I was 31, #2 when I was 35. I wanted one more, but it wasn't in the cards. You can definitely have your big family- I know plenty of people who have their kids until they are 40, and all is well. Good luck!!!
With DS1, I was 27 and DS2 I was 30. I have a friend that had her first at 40 and they were just blessed with a second and she is 42.
You can still have your large family as long as you are willing to "stairstep" them as a friend of mine says about her self and her siblings each 1-2 yrs apart at max.
So rest up and enjoy this next 6-9 mnths of "couplehood" with your DH and do spontaneous things that you won't be doing with 3 kids in tow.
I was 29 when my first was born, 32 for the second one, and 35 for our last one. Just be prepared to be the oldest in lamaze class. We couldn't believe that we were the oldest. Ok there was one other couple close to our ages. Don't give up hope. You are not that old. Just keep telling yourself over and over.
I guess it might have been better financially to have been able to start our family earlier. We weren't done with college expenses until we were in our late 50s, so even though I'd love to be retired right now (as in this minute ), here I am looking at teaching into my 60s to have enough for retirement. BUT our children are our biggest blessing and I am truly grateful and ever so thankful to have them in our lives.
Please try to appreciate the fact that you are in a relationship and looking forward to children in the near future. There's lots of lonely 30 year olds on PT who would wish they were in your situation! Yes, there are lots of twentysomethings who already have a large family, but as my kids were growing up, there were always plenty of moms and dads who were our age. Good luck with DH's job and I pray that you will conceive asap!
and #3 just arrived the day before my 35th birthday...I missed be "advanced maternal age" by ONE day! Really though, I feel so much more at peace and calm with this last baby. Then again it could be that I already had two and knew what to expect, not necessarily that I am "older and wiser".
I was 23 when my first son was born, and 26 when my second was born. You have a ton of time left, don't worry! Just remember (I'm sure you've heard people say this): there really isn't a perfect time to start a family...it's what works for you. I am 33 and if we had waited for the perfect time, I'd still be childless!
DD #1 when I was 30.
DD #2 when I was 36 (she is now 21 months).
It will happen when it is meant to happen for you. My pregnancy was harder the second time around because DD#2 was much bigger!
26 when I had my first and 33 with the second. Many I work with were in their 30's when they started a family. Doctors don't seem to feel women are old now even if they're having babies in their early 40's so you have time.
I was 37 with my daughter and 39 with my son. One of my MIL's best friends was 46 when she had her first. The daughter of a good friend of mine is now 41, pregnant for the first time.
I was 22. By that time, I had finished 3 years of college and taught 3 years. My second child was born when I was 25. I stayed home from the birth of the first and finished college after the birth of the second. Then I returned to teaching.
23 with my first and 26 with my second
I thought, I'll be a young grandmother. My kids are 26 and 23 and no spouses or even SO in sight!! Oh well, I have a grand dog and cat instead!
I was 28 when I had my first son and 32 when I had my second. My twin sister was 32 with her first and 34 with her second. I have a sister in law who had the cutest little girl when she was 36 and is due in April with her second daughter at 38. Don't give up you are definitely not too old.
I was much too young, 17 with DS1, 20 with DS2. There is never a right time or a perfect time to have a family. 33 really is not that old to start having kids IMO. I know plenty of women I work with waited until they were over 30 to start.
I was 39 and pregnant, 40 when I delivered. I had a blissfully easy, uncomplicated pregnancy. DS will be an only child- we would have a 2nd, but the risks (I am now 42) are too much for me and financially we just can't.
You are not old! Appreciate the fact that you are at this very exciting time of your life (that can also be very trying and challenging) planning to add to your family. Try not to feel sorry for yourself- things happen in their own time. This is my story:
My DH and I tried for almost 2 years to conceive. After the 2 years had passed, and I was 39, I went to my dr. to get back on BC. My dr. is in practice by herself and had an emergency delivery and had to cancell all of her afternoon appointments that day. I was FUMING! I had spent 2 years trying to conceive, and when DH and I had made the decision that it wasn't going to happen to us, I wanted to just get back on BC and move on. I came home raving about my appointment being canceled and DH "consoled" me.......8 weeks later I was in my dr.'s office for my first ultrasound!
Thanks for all of your responses. I do feel very blessed to be in a loving marriage and in a position to even discuss having a child. I know there are many want what I have. I also really appreciate all of you sharing your age and your personal stories about pregnancy.
I know there is no 'right' time and that I am not that old, but sometiems I sure do feel like it. I've been with my DH for 12 years now and I just thought we would have a child by now. This, coupled with the fact that we have never tried so I don't know if we will have difficulty, makes me worry that it might never happen. I must put it in His hands and know that everything happens for a reason.
Oh, and to the person that wrote we should enjoy the 'extra' few months we have together before we start a family..I so wish we could...instead this job will send him away for several month for training...that is why we have to put our plans on hold...I just can't imagine being pregnant for the first time and not being able to share it with him.
So, for now we will count our blessings, stay positive, and enjoy our lives...
Now...how do I get the family members to stop bugging us about it???
I was 23 for my first then took a 12 + year break and had the other at 36. Your body doesn't rebound as nicely, but the pay off is spectacular.
I can't imagine there is ever a perfect time to have a baby. With our second we had talked about trying, then along came the second war in Kuwait and we were evacuated. We decided life is too short to keep waiting.
You will know when the time is right.
**re-read OP response.
When I was pregnant with my first I was alone in Japan for the first 6 months. I know it is a time you want to share, but there are so many people that can't share this time due to a multitude of reasons. Just look and our military families.
Last edited by tchrtonya; 03-21-2011 at 06:39 PM..
Reason: re-read OP response.
With DD #1 I was 20 but looked like 15. People thought I was the babysitter or an older sister. Dropped out of college to be a SAHM and didn't go back until DD #2 finished high school. DD #2 became a mom herself at 32. One of my friends who is 44 just had a son.
I am 36 and trying to have my first. I am having trouble.
On the other side, I have three cousins who were all older then I am when they each had their first (I think one was 37, the other two were 40). One of them had a second child at 42 or 43. I believe only one had any trouble.
It all depends on the person. If you are that concerned with your age then maybe you can freeze your eggs (not sure cost etc.).
DD I was 28
I am now 35 and in early stages of pregnancy. Have my Dr. Appointment today.
Ironic thing: I was originally going to set this appointment up to discuss the possibility of having a partial hysterectomy since I was told I couldn't have any more. It has now become my official pregnancy appointment. Even the specialists don't know what the plan is.
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03-21-2011, 03:05 PM
I was 30 with #1 and 31 at delivery. I was 35 with #2 and 36 at delivery. You can still have your dream family.
), here I am looking at teaching into my 60s to have enough for retirement. BUT our children are our biggest blessing and I am truly grateful and ever so thankful to have them in our lives.
There's lots of lonely 30 year olds on PT who would wish they were in your situation! Yes, there are lots of twentysomethings who already have a large family, but as my kids were growing up, there were always plenty of moms and dads who were our age. Good luck with DH's job and I pray that you will conceive asap!
