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I donít even know what to title this Iím so upset
Old 02-18-2021, 08:35 PM
 
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Warning: LONG

I have a student whoís super low (Intellectually delayed). I emailed his teacher and asked about his NWEA score. He said 1st percentile, but mom said he guessed. I told him it wouldnít matter, but you could see how long it took him to take the test.

He emails me back, ccís the head of the virtual program and says my comment is ďcontroversialĒ. Iím sure he thought I meant because he was so low.

I emailed and said it was because he was already qualified the percentile didnít matter, we just needed the data.

Now we have a conference tomorrow to discuss it because ďword choice is very important,Ē. Yes, it is. Youíre not my boss.

And I feel like Iím in so much trouble over a miscommunication and a guy whoís overstepping bounds.

So, am I wrong? I could have worded it differently, but I feel like heís jumping all over me, including people who donít need to be included and making a mountain out of a molehill. Heís never met me. He knows nothing about me, how I run my class or who I am.

Please be honest, but gentle. Iím in tears right now. Sorry about the novel.


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Old 02-18-2021, 09:21 PM
 
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What exactly does he consider "controversial"? I'm confused because it doesn't seem to me that you said anything hurtful. And I have no idea what he was trying to say by adding the comment that "mom said he was guessing." Does that mean that the only correct answers were random guesses?

I'm assuming that everyone agrees that this particular child has been correctly identified as intellectually delayed. The teacher, you, the parent, everyone agrees. What in the world is the issue? Is there actually a disagreement?

Do you not have access to the students' files? I'm not sure why you have to go through someone else to get needed data for your paperwork. Perhaps that issue could be addressed at your meeting.

"Thank you for sending me the test score. I know that everyone is very busy, especially this year. How can things be arranged so that I have needed information and data without inconveniencing you or anyone else?"

And--I know this may be impossible right now, but try not to take this personally. After all, he doesn't know you, so how can it be personal?

(P.S. I don't think much about HIS communication ability. Or his sense of boundaries. As you say, he's not your boss. However, since you are both working with this particular child, it does make sense for the two of you to discuss the child's needs and how to meet them. Any other topic seems questionable.)
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Old 02-18-2021, 09:25 PM
 
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I really don't see anything wrong with what you emailed to the teacher. Who is the conference with? I agree with you that the teacher really overreacted. If the conference is with the head of the virtual program and the other teacher, I would just let them talk. That way you can see what the beef is really about. Seems like a tremendous waste of time to me!
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Old 02-18-2021, 09:26 PM
 
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Iím sorry this happened to you! I canít even figure out what the teacher would be upset about. I know itís hard not to worry, but try to relax about tomorrow. Look at it as an opportunity to show the head of the virtual program what a professional you are. Itís also an opportunity to establish your professional standing with the other teacher, and it sounds like you might need to do that. Good luck with your meeting, and let us know how it goes.
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Way overstepped
Old 02-19-2021, 04:28 AM
 
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It stinks that he overstepped his place and put you in tears. I think you should go into the meeting as a broken record - he misunderstood you, just keep repeating that. The mistake was his. You know that you meant that the child was already qualified, so telling you that mom believes he guessed was irrelevant to your original question. If word choice matters, then the teacher should have provided further details, such as whether the test flagged him as guessing or unfocused or whether he finished quickly. Your answer was that the detail he provided - mom said he guessed - was not important to your purpose.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.


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Old 02-19-2021, 05:09 AM
 
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Oh wow! I don't think you said anything wrong. It sounds like he completely overstepped. Let us know how your meeting goes -- sending good thoughts your way.
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Old 02-19-2021, 05:48 AM
 
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He must be seeing something Iím not...because I read your post three times and you said nothing controversial. Sending you a hug.
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Old 02-19-2021, 10:51 AM
 
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I'm sorry....another teacher called you into a meeting about word choice?!?!

What on earth....even if he was extremely offended and you said something much worse, this still isn't meeting worthy.

Just to clarify, you said it wouldn't matter to the teacher, right? Not the parents. Either way, I don't think it's that bad. Like, yes, you could have said something more PC, but what you said wasn't bad or derogatory or judgmental. It was literally just a statement of truth.

I could maybe understand the teachers irritation if you sent that to the parents because they might have turned the heat onto him. But it's still not enough to call a meeting over, more of a 'hey, this parent is super sensitive so lets be really careful over word choice with mom,' email.

If you sent that to the teacher not the parent and he got upset I'd go to that meeting tomorrow laughing. Like what on earth...does he really have that much free time?

Edit to add: NWEA has a rapid guess feature. Ask him tomorrow at the meeting if the feature was enabled...if not, then he wasn't guessing. If he took so long to take take the test then 'guessing' isn't an accurate term either, unless by 'guess' they mean didn't know the answer. In which case...yea he earned that percentile.
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Old 02-19-2021, 03:24 PM
 
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From what you have posted I don't see the problem especially to call a meeting. Someone has too much time on his hands. I would wonder if he is in trouble for something and is latching onto you to solve his problem. I would ignore him and hold your head high when you walk into the meeting.
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Old 02-19-2021, 04:24 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you're feeling like this! Maybe without seeing the actual wording you put I don't really get what happened but I'm not seeing anything controversial or inappropriate. What a bizarre response!


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Old 02-19-2021, 04:29 PM
 
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Ok I hope you know that I'd be honest but kind if I felt you were in the wrong. I don't think you did anything wrong.
I'm also sorry the other teacher has you in tears.
It sounds like you were just stating facts about a situation. Nothing wrong with saying that to another teacher. Also not much wrong with saying that to a parent? I might have worded it slightly differently with a parent but not by much.
He must not have much to do if he's having a meeting over this. Seems like a power play to me. Try to go southern, say, "Bless your heart, you misunderstood me," while allowing your facial features to communicate the unsaid, "you idiot."
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Old 02-19-2021, 05:36 PM
 
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Quote:
"Bless your heart, you misunderstood me,"
A well-placed ďbless your heartĒ is my favorite passive aggressive phrase.
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Old 02-20-2021, 02:17 PM
 
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That guy is soft, and your comment is not controversial. In general, it's hard to judge people from their emails, but I don't see anything in the comment that could be considered controversial. You simply explained more about the situation. We live in a gotcha and or cancel type of culture now. Many people now are viewed guilty first without discussion and or a trial. It's sickening and throws out any logic. Case closed and guilty. The trouble with this type of mentality is what happens when Captain Over Sensitivity offends somebody else ? How will he feel, and what what will he do then? Bad idea on his part.
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