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sextalk in second grade!?
Old 11-18-2011, 05:05 AM
 
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I have taught second grade for 5 years now and I have never had this problem. I have a group of 5 or 6 students that are always talking about sex. Yesterday I had a male student pass a note to a female students that said, "can we have sex...circle yes or no" and the female circled yes! They are 7 years old!!
Now I am stumped as to how to have a group discussion about this? or should I?
I sent a copy of the note home to the boys parents, but so far this year anytime I send home a note to them they come up and yell at me for picking on their angel. (not going to get any support there)
I do not know what to do....advice? stories that I am not alone?

anything would be helpful...


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Old 11-18-2011, 05:18 AM
 
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I would let the girl's parents know, as well. I know if my daughter received a note like that, I would not be happy.

Not sure if I would have a whole class discussion, but you do need to let this group (boy in particular) that that is inappropriate for school. Period. And, there needs to be a consequence for each infraction.
Maybe loss of recess, free time, fun Friday, ???

Address it each and every time it happens.

Perhaps involve the school counselor/psychologist and principal, too.

I teach in a fairly sheltered district, so maybe my advice is way off base. Hopefully, others will pipe in.
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First, find out what they mean by "sex"
Old 11-18-2011, 06:13 AM
 
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It could be way different from what you think. I might have a counselor question each kid separately, so that you don't later get accused of giving out information about sex to second graders.
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You're not alone
Old 11-18-2011, 07:38 AM
 
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We had that problem with a group of first graders last year. They are exposed to so much from older brothers and sisters, TV, parents, etc... and are just repeating what they have heard. Thankfully I don't believe they understood what they were saying. We addressed it head on with the help of the principal and the parents. It was stopped and has not resurfaced.
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Old 11-18-2011, 04:00 PM
 
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I agree that they may not know what "sex" means. Still, it is inappropriate and this boy needs to know this. Isn't it sad how times have changed?

Also, Super R, I love your dog. Collies are my favorite.


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definitely not alone
Old 11-18-2011, 04:42 PM
 
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I had the same thing happen my first year teaching second grade. Only it was the girl who sent the note. And the boy who circled yes. I agree that you do need to let both children's parents know. I would also have the counselor talk to both. The other PP are right in that they are probably just repeating what they hear at home. So many parents don't know what "age appropriate" means.
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Old 11-18-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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My FIRST graders had a lot of problems with inappropriate talk last year. One girl went up to another boy IN FRONT OF HIS MOM and asked him how big his penis was. The boy's mom said something to the girl's mom (this was after school and her mom was around too) and her mom totally brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. She did that a lot last year. It'll catch up to her when her daughter is 16 and pregnant.

Anyway, I would talk to each child separately and not the whole class. If my son or daughter was in your class (and wasn't part of the issues) I would not want the teacher talking about it to everyone. Maybe the counselor needs to be involved as well. I agree with PPs-find out what they mean by sex. Even so, they should not be using that word at school.

I would have harsh consequences for inappropriate talk.
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You need to say something,
Old 11-18-2011, 05:31 PM
 
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and probably to the whole class. Keep it general, of course, there's no need to go into specifics. I talk about how private business is, well, private, and not to be discussed at school. School is for school business. Class is not the place to talk about their underwear, who likes who, how much money they have, whatever. I also say something about if they have enough time to be writing notes about things of this nature they clearly need more work to do.
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Old 11-18-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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As a teacher and parent also, I can guarantee you that while this may be the first time you've heard of it...it isn't the first time it's happened with students in your class. There are a LOT of things many teachers seem oblivious to because they aren't right next to the kids during recess, lunch, etc. Times are way different than they were just 20 years ago, unfortunately.

At this point, I would just let the parents know -- like you did and kudos to you for doing that! -- and leave it alone. If it continues to be a problem, call the parents in for a conference or something, but DON'T take it upon yourself to sit down and have a whole class discussion about sex or even sex-talk. That'll just be asking for a flood of emails, principal notes, etc. from very angry parents.
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Old 11-18-2011, 07:09 PM
 
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I also agree that while this may be the first time you're witnessed it, it's certainly not a new thing in the classroom with kids this age. When I was in college, I worked as a camp counselor and a 2nd grader came up to me, rubbed his hands together, and said another boy wanted to "mush mush" with me.

This is not something you address with the whole class in any way, shape, or form. You will end up on the news as the 2nd grade teacher who taught her class about sex. You did the right thing by sending the note home to the boy's parents, but you also need to contact the girl's parents. She may not have known what sex was, circled yes so as to not be embarrassed, and went home and said something to her parents. I don't think its necessary to involve the counselors. It's something that children are curious about because they see it on television and in movies. By 8 years old, some parents may have already told their children what sex is. It's not something the counselors in my school would take seriously.


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Old 11-18-2011, 07:30 PM
 
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I think I would hand this one over to the principal.
I had one student tell me another was using the "S" word. I was asking the one that starts with sh? Stupid? "No, the one that means how you have babies." Not as bad as your wanna have sex? I talked to the student and told him it isn't a bad word but not a word he should be using. I know his dad is really young and I am sure he watches things he shouldn't. I sent a note home. He hasn't used it again. But with your situation because he said it to a girl - that can be considered sexual harassment. So I would let the principal take care of it so it doesn't come back to hit you in the face.
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:28 PM
 
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these things go straight to our counselor- not my place to have those conversations with them...and it is one less thing for me to do...
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Old 11-19-2011, 06:40 AM
 
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I'm surprised you school policy doesn't address this. I would send them to the admins next time and let them deal with it. In Illinois, that's a form of bullying. It has to be noted.
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Had a similar experience with 1st graders
Old 11-19-2011, 07:17 AM
 
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I had a class several years ago of very knowledgeable 1st graders. Geesh, passing notes were too subtle for that group. I had boys imitating the sex act on the floor!

I had 22 students that year, and it felt like I had 122 for all the concern I had for them.

Do not have a classwide discussion. You still have some innocents in your class.

Several of my worldly students were in the process of being tested and/or identified sped, so I had the sped supervisors to talk with about this. Not that that changed anything.

I wish I had involved the counselor and the principal so maybe you could do that. I believe your documentating the behavior and your response to it is important.

Good luck. This is tough.
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It raises concern...
Old 11-19-2011, 09:54 AM
 
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about what's going on at home. Is this child allowed to watch inappropriate things on TV? Do you think the child might have any abuse issues going on? It seems like attention-getting behavior. Even if his parents get defensive, they need to be aware this isn't typical behavior for a 2nd grader. Tell them the behavior needs to stop as it is not their son's job to school the rest of your class in sex education.

I think I would let the girls parent know, too, since she circled "yes."

I'd definitely let the principal and counselor know about the behavior and the note. Even if they don't do anything, you have made sure they are aware just in case something comes up in the future. Document everything.

Also, while not specifically mentioning sex, you might address how you want your 2nd graders to treat each other respectfully. It sounds like a good time to review your expectations. Potty language, name calling, and other inappropriate things are not ways to treat others respectfully. Say you've noticed some of these things going on and you want to see more of (.....). Tell them to please let you know if they see anything inappropriate and also let you know about kids who are being really kind to one another. You might even create a kindness board and write (or have the kids write) the names of "Kind Kids" and their actions on those cute little shaped notepads for every one to see.
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Old 11-20-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Same note has been passed in my second grade class this year. I copied the note, provided the principal with a copy, kept one for myself, scheduled a parent conference for the child and parents to come in together after school and discuss what's apropriate and what's not, and to determine if the child understood what she had written. (She did.)

Make sure you cover all your bases, keep the principal and parents in the loop. Do NOT discuss it with the rest of the class. This is attention getting behavior. Don't fall for it.
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