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SwollenAnkles SwollenAnkles is offline
 
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SwollenAnkles
 
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Coworker bullying
Old 02-02-2019, 02:16 PM
 
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I am having a terrible year. Now I feel I have a bully. Actually I feel the whole school has a bully, but I am the only one saying anything and now I feel like the complainer. I will tell what happened, you let me know what you think. Donít flame me though. My nerves canít take it! You can nicely say that maybe I am exhausted and taking things to personal.

We have a classroom teacher that is also in charge of our behavior plans(BRTI). So I have a student on one. She asked to see me the other day, I went. She talked to me like she was my principal or mentor, only a super mean one! She told me I am too stressed, I should not talk to my team because they make things worse. (They are my best friends) She called one of my team members trash. She told me that the kids leave her grade with great scores and our grade level produces terrible scores and the grade above us is great. She told me that my ďOutburstĒ at the last RTI meeting was proof I was stressed. (I stuck up for myself and class when she told me to remove all math from my room for the one student on the BRTI). She is disliked by most people at the school, but no one stands up to her! Not even the principal. I am pretty new and I donít understand why she has so much power. Suggestions? Help? Advice?

I went to my principal and told her this. By the way I also told my team and they were so upset one team member cried. My principal said, ďOh I think she just really wants to help you.Ē How is that helping? Am I crazy?


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Blue Flower Blue Flower is offline
 
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Out of Line
Old 02-02-2019, 02:27 PM
 
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Your coworker is behaving unprofessionally. It is weird your principal had no reaction about how rude she was. Is there anyone else that works with the child who can sit in your next meeting? I wish I could recommend to just not meet with her, but it sounds as though your principal wants you to work together. Maybe your principal could attend the meeting with you. If this person continues to be a bully you could file a formal complaint with HR.
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Summerwillcom Summerwillcom is offline
 
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No you are not crazy
Old 02-02-2019, 02:34 PM
 
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Your P sounds like he is scared and covering up for her misbehavior so he doesn't have to deal w/it. I know a P just like that.
She has no business telling you who to talk to or calling anyone trash.
I am confused or she is crazy. Did she tell you to remove all math from your room?
If no1 wants to stand up to her with you, you may have to just avoid her at all costs. We have had a bad bully in our school who got away w/ her nastiness for yrs because the P refused to acknowledge it was a problem.
1x I remember being at wit's end, and I shut the door in her face and locked it while she was
yelling about something really stupid that did not matter. Good luck and stay away from her!
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SwollenAnkles SwollenAnkles is offline
 
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Answer to question
Old 02-02-2019, 02:44 PM
 
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My principal said, ďOh my and tried to cover her ears.Ē Her face turned red. Then she said the part about how she thinks this lady was/is trying to help me. I am not meeting with her alone again. I am asking my principal to sit in. If she doesnít than one of my team mates, but that I think that would be volatile. I want to avoid that.
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SwollenAnkles SwollenAnkles is offline
 
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Thank you.
Old 02-02-2019, 02:56 PM
 
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I didnít know I could do that. Maybe my whole team should since she is really attacking all of us. She is afraid of the others I guess and targeting me because I am new? She doesnít know me very well though. Everyone thinks I am sweet, I am if you are being nice and doing your job and there is no injustice going on. When I lose it though I yell. That is part of what Iím afraid of. Iím going to lose my temper and lose my job.


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ZipLine ZipLine is offline
 
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Old 02-02-2019, 04:00 PM
 
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If she is in charge of student behavior plans, thatís what her conversation with you should focus on. Itís none of her business if you talk to your teammates, if you are stressed, or what your grade levelís scores are compared to other grades. Sheís not your supervisor or team leader, right?

Personally, if she tries to corner you into another inappropriate conversation, Iíd politely cut her off and remind her that her role centers on BRTI and if she has nothing to discuss regarding a student, you are excusing yourself from the meeting. If you find you canít get that out, tell her to please wait a moment and go get a teammate or two to join you.

Once you stand up to a bully, they will back down. Do it professionally. You said you yell when you get stressed. Never yell. A good way to learn to speak up is to practice possible responses that you can draw on when faced with a difficult situation. It will help you avoid being emotional.

Good luck.
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Peaches Pears Peaches Pears is offline
 
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Old 02-02-2019, 05:24 PM
 
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Don't give her any more power.
Don't raise your voice.
Go low and controlled with your voice.
Measured, determined control is far more effective (and might I suggest 'sinister' than a raised voice).

Quote:
She told me that the kids leave her grade with great scores and our grade level produces terrible scores and the grade above us is great.
ooooo...............this smacks of an evaluative statement.
Evaluative statements can not/should not be made by one teacher to another teacher. That's why principals get the big bucks. They are responsible for teacher evaluation.

Quote:
My principal said, ďOh I think she just really wants to help you.Ē
Nope. Not helping you. She has decided to do the principal's job too.
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anna anna is offline
 
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Old 02-02-2019, 06:23 PM
 
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Who put her in charge of behavior plans? The princ.

Unless your job requires you to keep your mouth shut and you need your job, keep speaking up when you need to.
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SwollenAnkles SwollenAnkles is offline
 
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Big thanks
Old 02-03-2019, 08:56 PM
 
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I sometimes wonder if the job does require that. No one tells this woman where she can go! So many people complain about her, but put up with it. It is weird. I canít work that way. I do need my job, but I donít see how not letting her be a bully would cause me to be fired. Thanks to all your support. I know I am not crazy and that gives me more reason to be strong.
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