Peculiar Coworker - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

Peculiar Coworker

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member
Peculiar Coworker
Old 02-12-2019, 09:53 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

Need your help making sense of this. I've been teaching for a few years, so maybe I'm still learning how to work with different personalities.



Scenario: First day at a new school - I know that I have 2 coworkers in my team but no clue what one of them looks like - I walk into the cafeteria for the staff breakfast, and I have no clue where to sit or who my teammates are.

Question #1: Is it normal for a team to not anticipate their new team member's arrival?



Scenario: Coworker often walks up to me while I'm at my desk and starts telling me information. Keep in mind that my desk does not face the door, so I'm facing a wall and can't see everything happening to the side of me.
Does not start off with "hey" to get my attention. Also, starts talking to me when I am not even looking at them.

Question #2: Is it normal for a coworker to start talking to you when it doesn't even seem like I'm aware or present in their conversation?



Scenario: Coworker and I are in a room together. They start to leave, so I head out right behind them. Rather than noticing me behind them, they keep walking. I am just awkwardly walking behind them. This happens often.

Question #3: Don't they see that I'm trying to walk with them in the same direction and have a short conversation?



Scenario: I make it a point to say hello and how are you daily. Coworker never does this to me. If I happen to choose to stay in my room and never check up, we could go a full day without speaking. I've tested this out before - and my coworker never came out of their office to talk or just say hi in passing.

Question #4: Is it normal for someone to avoid seeing their team mates for an entire day?



These are the few scenarios I encounter daily. Please help! Not sure if there's something I can do better on my part.



Last edited by CoffeeQueen16; 02-13-2019 at 06:33 AM..
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote

GraceKrispy's Avatar
GraceKrispy GraceKrispy is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 36,723
Blog Entries: 1
Senior Member

GraceKrispy
 
GraceKrispy's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 36,723
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

Is this all the same coworker? Sounds like something either between the two of you or a difference in personality/social interaction style.

I would say, in general, no- these things aren't necessarily "normal," but there are people like this all over the place, and some of them will naturally end up as a coworker to someone else.

I think my social skills are pretty decent, and your scenario #4 doesn't seem that unusual to me. If you are staying in your room, the other person isn't necessarily "avoiding" you "unless forced/confronted" They are not making a point to go in and check up on you, but you aren't doing that either if you're staying in your room.

Relationship patterns can start early on. You might have a coworker who is more introverted and lacking in some social graces. You have been the one to say hello, but that doesn't mean your coworker is the type of person who would normally do that.

Honestly, most of these scenarios sound like you have a coworker who is more introverted and has a different communication style than you do. The first scenario isn't cool, imo-- even if introverted, teammates should make a point to welcome a new colleague. It's tough to be the new one. Of course, if there are several new people, that person might not have known who you were, either.

I hope you have other coworkers with whom you have better connections/communication! It sounds like this one is bothering you.
GraceKrispy is online now   Reply With Quote
NJ Teacher's Avatar
NJ Teacher NJ Teacher is online now
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,056
Senior Member

NJ Teacher
 
NJ Teacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,056
Senior Member
Odd colleagues...
Old 02-12-2019, 11:45 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

Scenario One: I think it would have been nice if the administration introduced you to your new team. Maybe there were others who were new to the school and they weren't sure that you were their new teammate. That being said, it would have been nice if someone on the staff noticed you, introduced themselves to you and if they were not on your team, they could have pointed you in the right direction. I would have felt awkward in that situation as the new person.

Scenario Two: Colleague doesn't sound very friendly, but might be stressed or hurried. Regardless, a greeting of some sort would be appropriate, and it would be nice if you were asked if this is a good time.

Scenario Three: Once again, they don't seem very friendly or interested in socializing. Have they worked together a long time? Three can be an awkward dynamic. I wouldn't necessarily read anything into this. If you are interested in trying, maybe suggesting going out for coffee after school might work and you might have some relaxed, meaningful conversation with them. Unfortunately, while it is great to have strong relationships on a team, sometimes it just doesn't work out like that. So long as they aren't trying to control what you do in your classroom, they just might not be warm and friendly people.

Scenario Four: I am retired now, but my district had a lot of stress and pressure. We also had unannounced observations. It was not uncommon for most of the staff not to eat lunch in the Faculty Room any more and stay in their rooms. We would see each other when we were picking up our students and at dismissal, but it wasn't uncommon for me not to interact with my teammates every day. I have to admit I missed the closeness I had at other schools, but it was what it was. It was lonely at times, though.
NJ Teacher is online now   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 12:20 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

Hi GraceKrispy! Yes this is all the same coworker. The other one is friendlier but inappropriate/unprofessional and I try to keep a healthy distance.

With scenario #4, I'm trying to say that it feels weird to me that I don't socialize with my teammate. If I don't go to her and say hi or check up, there is no interaction for the day. I'm just trying to picture her day..if she comes in to work and just keeps to herself. On top of that, she looks agitated, which is why I try not to bother her too much. I'm just amazed that we can "survive" this way. We deserve a mental break - friendly chit chat for just a few minutes is good.

I really appreciate your feedback. You saying that these scenarios aren't uncommon are calming me down. I am a sensitive person - sensitive in the sense that I am in tune with feelings and vibes. I let these issues bother me for a while, but I'm just glad to hear that it doesn't have to be the end of the world. Thank you.

Last edited by CoffeeQueen16; 02-12-2019 at 04:50 PM..
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 12:23 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

Hi there NJ Teacher. I really appreciate your feedback and sharing of personal experiences.

I am writing this post because 1) I feel lonely at times and 2) I'm not sure if this is a healthy environment for me.

However, with the way you described things, it sounds like my problems are not uncommon and shouldn't take over my mental well-being.


Thank you!



Last edited by CoffeeQueen16; 02-12-2019 at 04:49 PM..
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
MAsped's Avatar
MAsped MAsped is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

MAsped
 
MAsped's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 01:05 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

I figured all the scenarios were about this same person because of your thread title. Glad you gave enough examples of her true behavior. She does seem like an odd duck to me too. But, that's life...full of people of dfiferent personalities. There are the personable people, the bitches, the wallflowers, the fake people, the backstabbers who are nice to your face but are not to be trusted, the loud yakkers who seem to always have something to say, the oddballs, etc.

Is she an older teacher by any chance? She seems like she's just been "in the game" for so long that she's jaded and just doesn't care anymore about making friends or not...or even if the vibe is positive between her and others.

How does she seem to treat everyone else? I assume each person no matter where we are has their "favorite people" if they've been at a workplace or part of some group for any certain length of time.

With this particular lady, I'd treat her like she does me. I won't greet her, I'll just start talking too for example. Things like that because it's not fair to give her all this good, kind respectable treatment from you to her and she doesn't give you much. Just do the bare minimum to have as good a working relationship as you can. Don't care so much with her. Focus your personality on others who deserve it.
MAsped is online now   Reply With Quote
Cinderella00's Avatar
Cinderella00 Cinderella00 is offline
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,740
Senior Member

Cinderella00
 
Cinderella00's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,740
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 01:19 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

I think this person might just be more introverted than you are.

I try to be friendly to others, but I could go all day working in my room and not step out to talk to anyone else. I use every minute at school to work, I don't have time to socialize.

It doesn't sound like she's going out of her way to be rude, just maybe doesn't need the same level of socialization that you do.
Cinderella00 is offline   Reply With Quote
WGReading's Avatar
WGReading WGReading is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 605
Senior Member

WGReading
 
WGReading's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 605
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 01:21 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

Introverted and very busy teacher (doing 1.5 FTE jobs in 1 actual job) here with a different perspective.

It sounds to me like a difference in personality style. You feel lonely and have a need for social interaction, but not everyone feels that way. For me, going out of my way to socialize when I am busy or stressed is just adding additional stress to me - both the socializing itself, and the time taken away from getting the things done that I need to do. Not that I don't talk to other teachers during the day, but it is more casual. I would never think "I need to walk down the hall to say hi to teacher X, Y and Z" just to be social if I wasn't already going that way. I greet people and am friendly, and have personal friendships with some of my co-workers, but I am not going to socialize just to socialize.

Scenario 1 - I just think that is unprofessional of your team. They should be looking out for you, and someone else from another team could also be looking out for you and showing you where they are.

Scenario 2 - this is a personality trait of mine. Since I was in college (a million years ago), I have had people tell me that I walked right past them without seeing them - because my mind is working basically all the time. And I know I have a habit of launching in to problem solving or "work" before greeting and small talk. It is something I am now aware of and try to be mindful of, but sometimes I slip up. And then i will apologize and try to slow my mind/self down. Maybe your co-worker is unaware she does this. Have you mentioned it to her?

Scenario 3 - Same as scenario 2. Maybe your co-worker has things on her mind. Maybe she doesn't assume you want to chat with her. Try saying something like, "Hey, do you mind if I walk with you?" as you leave the room. When I get into situations like this - usually it's that awkward distance apart where it's like "Do I hold the door or let it close?" "Are they walking this direction or turning before they get to me?" And I feel very awkward trying to figure that out. It is possible she does to. If to address it, it might help.

Scenario 4 - Already answered above.


I read some of the other answers and also agree with those. I'd just like to caution to not make judgments about the other person being unusual or stressed or sad. Your co-worker has a system for getting things done that works for her and her personality type. There is nothing about what you wrote that makes me think she is unhappy, unsuccessful, in need of help or anything else. Just like some teachers arrive at school early and get work done then, others stay late, others take work home, others are extremely efficient and don't have to take things home - none of those are any more correct, professional or healthy than others, it's about what works for you.

I'm sorry it's a poor match with your teammate. I really do think that pointing things out in a kind way might help. It might be more awkward at first, but if your co-worker is a true introvert as it seems, she is also likely introspective and will reflect on what you have to say.
WGReading is offline   Reply With Quote
travelingfar's Avatar
travelingfar travelingfar is online now
 
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,020
Senior Member

travelingfar
 
travelingfar's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,020
Senior Member
Not Fun
Old 02-12-2019, 01:49 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

Some people are just unfriendly and not particularly nice. Spend time with others in your school who are easier to be around.

Good luck.
travelingfar is online now   Reply With Quote
SassyTeach's Avatar
SassyTeach SassyTeach is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,912
Senior Member

SassyTeach
 
SassyTeach's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,912
Senior Member
Just wondering...
Old 02-12-2019, 01:59 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

Could this coworker be on the spectrum? Sounds like some behaviors I've seen with some of my students.


SassyTeach is offline   Reply With Quote
MAsped's Avatar
MAsped MAsped is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

MAsped
 
MAsped's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 02:05 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

I want to add something here. For scenarios #2 and 3, I believe that's her way and that she definitely knows that she's being that way. People should be conscious enough to know when they're not acknowledging or greeting someone or not walking and talking with someone, etc. To say that they just always have other things on their mind or whatever is not a good reason to me. I mean is she and people like her a human or a robot here? People know how they want to treat someone and treat them according to that. (Not rolling my eyes at you, OP, but the excuses they might say if asked why they're like that.)

People should have some level of sincerity and be personable with others AND try to make the best at work. I mean they're going to be working with those SAME people day in and day out 5 days a week for who knows how many years, so they should really try to get in there and be nice and make the best of it. If they don't, that's their personality or they're like that with those they don't like, but that doesn't mean it's good.
MAsped is online now   Reply With Quote
tyrex tyrex is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,056
Senior Member

tyrex
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,056
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 02:37 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

Introvert here. 1 and 2 seem odd. 3 and 4 do not.

3--I would think it was strange and annoying that you always follow me where I'm going. Don't you have to make copies, or go to the bathroom, or something different than what I need to do?

4--The more socializing I do at work, the later I have to stay or the more I have to do at home.

I work with several people who will talk your ear off. Sometimes it's nice, like if I've had a rough day and want a distraction. Other times I will literally go hide in the bathroom or copy room if I see them coming, because I have so much to get done and they will go on and on without taking a hint. Literally, I can shut off my computer and get up and put on my coat and they just keep talking.

I have a co-worker who will stop by to say hi on our planning period and she will go on and on until half of planning is done. I avoid people who suck my time away from me.
tyrex is offline   Reply With Quote
elspeech elspeech is online now
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,195
Senior Member

elspeech
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,195
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 03:29 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

My first thought was very similar to SassyTeach, in that I wonder if she is somewhere on the autism spectrum. All of the things you point out are subtle things that most people just sort of learned, but that someone on the spectrum might need to be explicitly taught.
elspeech is online now   Reply With Quote
MAsped's Avatar
MAsped MAsped is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

MAsped
 
MAsped's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 03:33 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

^ Good point!
MAsped is online now   Reply With Quote
geoteacher8 geoteacher8 is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 11
New Member

geoteacher8
 
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 11
New Member
Another perspective
Old 02-12-2019, 03:51 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

Youíre getting many viewpoints here, but let me add my two cents. None of us completely know one anotherís story. Someone said that to me, and I use it to this day to remind myself to tread lightly. You donít know why this person acts in what is perceived as an unfriendly manner, but you also donít know what else might be going on in the personís life. When I was completing my masters, I said something that was incorrectly perceived by another member of my cohort, and I was also seen as extremely introverted. What the group didnít realize, and what I was unable to share, was that I was beginning a long path of eating disorder diagnosis and treatment with my child. There was nothing else that I had the energy to focus on. As I mentioned earlier, be careful when you think of judging anotherís behavior because you may not know the back story.
geoteacher8 is offline   Reply With Quote
DeeDee3073's Avatar
DeeDee3073 DeeDee3073 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 661
Senior Member

DeeDee3073
 
DeeDee3073's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 661
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 04:51 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

None of it sounds especially odd to me. It sounds as if your coworker is at work to work. She may not be a socializer. What stuck out to me was you saying you felt lonely. Clearly, she doesn't and is very introverted. So am I. I talk to other staff when I need to but I'm not at work to socialize and I don't like making small talk. Maybe you should consider branching out and meeting other people at your school. There are probably others like you who enjoy socializing and chatting during the day.
DeeDee3073 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 04:54 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

Hi MASped!

Yes, she is older. I'm not sure how she treats others, but I don't think she has the best reputation. She doesn't seem super friendly with anyone in particular.

I'm going to try and feel more comfortable being alone, because as you stated, it's not worth it to be giving her kind treatment and not getting the same back. It's tough.
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 04:57 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

Hi DeDee3073!

I think you're right. She's more introverted. I've seen her light up in conversations from time to time with visitors (student teachers observing us).

I'm not a particularly chatty person either. I consider myself introverted. However, I can't stand being completely isolated the whole day and not saying hi and chatting for just 10 minutes during lunch.

Either way, thank you for the advice and I'll definitely keep everything in mind.
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 05:00 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

Hi Tyrex!

Thanks for your honest opinions/feedback. I'll make some changes to my interactions so I don't make my coworker feel uncomfortable. We barely have any interaction as it is, but maybe she is overwhelmed and doesn't want to talk at all.
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 05:01 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #20

Hi travelingfar!

I appreciate the advice. I'm hoping to meet some new people, too. It's a work in progress..not easy, but I'm staying positive.
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-12-2019, 05:03 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #21

Hi geoteacher8!

Wow, your story gave me something to think about..

I've always wondered if my coworker had some issues outside of work, but it didn't affect me as much as your comment. Thank you for sharing. I'll definitely remember what you said whenever I feel frustrated or confused.
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
ElemSped13 ElemSped13 is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 561
Senior Member

ElemSped13
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 561
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 05:22 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #22

It's hard to say without knowing the actual person. I worked with a similar type of person and in her case, she was a moody witch. Sometimes she could be a lot of fun but I never knew which personality I'd get.

I'm an introvert but like interacting with my team. Moving schools solved that issue and it is so pleasant not to deal with that anymore.

Wishing you the best because school is stressful enough without a teammate issue.
ElemSped13 is offline   Reply With Quote
PindleLou888 PindleLou888 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 101
Full Member

PindleLou888
 
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 101
Full Member

Old 02-12-2019, 05:27 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #23

She's weird. Socially awkward. Or a b#itch. Maybe all 3.
PindleLou888 is online now   Reply With Quote
Ima Teacher's Avatar
Ima Teacher Ima Teacher is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 26,735
Senior Member

Ima Teacher
 
Ima Teacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 26,735
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 06:21 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #24

Iím an introvert.

To me, items one and two seem unusual, while three and four seem normal.
Ima Teacher is offline   Reply With Quote
Haley23 Haley23 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,113
Senior Member

Haley23
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,113
Senior Member

Old 02-12-2019, 08:57 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #25

The only thing that seems weird to me is scenario number one. They should have been more welcoming to you as a new teammate.

In scenario number 2, if I walked up to someone's desk, I'd expect them to stop and look at me without me having to say, "Hey, can I talk to you?" If someone walks into my room, I stop what I'm doing and look at them. Honestly the fact that you ignore them until they say something seems more odd to me. To me, Can I talk to you/do you have a minute?" sounds more formal and like something I'd use with someone I wasn't close with at all- like maybe my boss. My teammates and I are definitely comfortable enough to just jump right in.

As for 3 and 4, I agree with what many others said here. I prefer not to waste time at work with small talk/chit chat. I mostly get my job done during contract hours because I spend any free moment getting something done. Some people prefer to socialize and stay late- to each their own.

I do have one teammate who is an extremely close friend and we do chat throughout the work day, but it's mostly just snippets here and there and lunch. She understands my style- I stop whatever I'm doing to actually eat, but the rest of lunch time or before/after school, planning time, etc. I'm working. She might come in to chat, but I'll continue doing something that doesn't require too much brainpower (i.e. organizing/putting together materials) and she doesn't mind.

With some of my other teammates, I could easily go days without talking to them. One I might stop by to talk to if I have something more important to share. The other is honestly just not my cup of tea, and is one of those people that a pp described that wants to talk my ear off and waste all of my time, so I try to avoid getting sucked into that. She does NOT get the hint to stop talking, and then has the nerve to complain about how she never gets anything done at work . Any time I see her coming, I try to immediately make an excuse about having to go make copies, check my box- something to get out of the room and avoid being trapped.
Haley23 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-13-2019, 05:19 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #26

Hi Haley23!

I totally agree - I am not going to put my coworkers through that. I respect their need to focus on lesson planning. I also need peace and quiet to get stuff done (I have 5 preps myself).

With my coworker, she doesn't really smile, say hi, or leave her office. it's tough trying to build a supportive / friendly environment with her. My intention is not to be her best friend, but rather, to have some friendly exchanges, even if it's just a simple hello.

Also, I don't think any of my team members (including myself) have a close buddy to talk to at any time.

Thanks for your feedback
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
knit1purl2 knit1purl2 is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 606
Senior Member

knit1purl2
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 606
Senior Member
Read about personality
Old 02-13-2019, 05:30 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #27

FLorence Liteaur Book Title Personality Plus. Or reasearch D.I.S.C method. I have found that very few behaviors are a reaction to me or pointed directly at me. Most people are totally wrapped up in themselves and their issues. Some normal issues and some whacko issues.

Good luck navigating! It is a strange world we live in. I have found my friends are never in my same grade level. It is hard to reach out when you are new.
knit1purl2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Zia's Avatar
Zia Zia is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 14,341
Senior Member

Zia
 
Zia's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 14,341
Senior Member

Old 02-13-2019, 05:55 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #28

I'm not even remotely introverted, but I'd be annoyed if some rando interrupted my work time for no reason. Saying "Hi" in the hallway or bathroom, sure. But I need my planning time to do my job. Sorry if this seems harsh, but this part really hit me wrong:

Quote:
Coworker never does this to me. If I happen to choose to stay in my room and never check up, we could go a full day without speaking. I've tested this out before - and my coworker never came out of their office to talk or just say hi in passing.

Question #4: Is it normal for someone to avoid seeing their team mates for an entire day?
My prep time isn't meant for "checking up on" coworkers. Pretty much every second is needed to get my stuff done. It's not "avoiding others," so much as it is "doing my job."

Good luck figuring out boundaries. It does stink you weren't introduced to the other teachers on your grade level. Sounds like it kind of set the tone for you feeling weird and unwelcome there and caused a spiral of insecurity. But, as others have said, your coworker's behavior likely has nothing to do with you.
Zia is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-13-2019, 06:18 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #29

Hi Zia,

Thanks for the feedback. I'm definitely understanding your perspective more (as others have also stated the same points).

You're right about my uneasiness because my welcome started off awkward. I never really see any positive interaction (or any interaction at all, unless forced to by admin to have meetings), so I went down the path of confusion/insecurity.

Also, you're right about "checking up" not being necessary.

I came from another school where people were more social, so it was really shocking to see people not talking at all (not even saying hi). I'm getting used to it now thanks to everyone's advice.
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-13-2019, 06:25 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #30

Hi knit1purl2,

Thanks for your advice - it's very helpful. I'm interested in reading the book!
CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
MAsped's Avatar
MAsped MAsped is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

MAsped
 
MAsped's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,105
Senior Member

Old 02-13-2019, 07:34 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #31

Hi CoffeeQueen16,

Thanks for replying back. We just have to take people as they come because we can't change them and it's way too much time and energy to try. I also agree with PindleLou888 too.
MAsped is online now   Reply With Quote
CoffeeQueen16 CoffeeQueen16 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

CoffeeQueen16
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 14
New Member

Old 02-13-2019, 08:08 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #32

Hi MAsped,

I agree. It's also helping me to become a better/more understanding person.

I also have to respect others' personalities and not let that affect me.

CoffeeQueen16 is offline   Reply With Quote
BioEducator87 BioEducator87 is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 101
Full Member

BioEducator87
 
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 101
Full Member

Old 02-14-2019, 01:19 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #33

Sounds like they're introverted and stressed.
BioEducator87 is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:09 AM.

Copyright © 2017 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net