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ctuesta ctuesta is offline
 
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bully teammates
Old 02-03-2019, 09:00 PM
 
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I'm going through a hard time. My school is full of bullies and it all starts with the administrators. My principal flirts with the security guards and dresses as a teenager. She is good friends with a nontenure teacher who is still working on her credentials. When this teacher started working in my school, the principal allowed her to do interviews and other administrative duties.

They moved me from second grade to first grade. Now we are both in first grade. This teacher started making mean comments to me like "you need to stop being an airhead or you're going to get on the team's nerves". "The 3 of us are in this training minus you ". The other 2 teachers are just mean pure and simple. These teachers like to do the same activities at the same time. When I give an idea, they question and make me look stupid. Two months ago, we were at the meeting and I was trying to join the conversation and the nontenure teacher yelled at me, "CAN YOU PLEASE STOP I.N.T.E.R.R.U.P.T.I.N.G!". I went home in tears. The other teacher came to me and made a comment saying "why does your bulletin board always looks different than ours. All 4 of our bulletin boards have to look exactly the same. You're making our team look bad ". But the truth is that I received many compliments from other teachers. They use our meeting time to pop each other's pimples and to talk about how they bleed during sex. At last week's meeting, one of them said "ladies, I don't think we'll be team of the year" and they all laughed. As you can see, there is no support since our administrators are bffs with those bullies and they are bullies themselves.

All this is starting to affect my health. I have really bad headaches and an upset stomach. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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My take-
Old 02-04-2019, 02:36 AM
 
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Apply elsewhere. You can't control or change others, so time to change your environment.
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Ugh
Old 02-04-2019, 04:06 AM
 
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I'm sorry you're going through all that. Your school sounds like a very toxic environment. It is time to apply for a new job.
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Old 02-04-2019, 06:50 AM
 
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I'd put in for a transfer to another building.
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Bullies
Old 02-04-2019, 08:05 AM
 
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Sounds like a script from Mean Girls. I say start looking for another building AsAP. Then shut your door and do what you want.

If the mean girls say anything, give it right back to them: ď Youíve made it clear you donít like me or my ideas. So Iím just going to do this on my own. That should make us all happy.Ē


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Old 02-04-2019, 11:52 AM
 
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Please don't do what I did. I just took it and never did anything. I always took the high road and it didn't work for me. As a result of that, I now believe that you need to tackle the trouble maker head on and let them know they are going to get resistance. So, in my opinion, be very assertive. I wasn't assertive when it happened to me and was afraid to make someone lose his/her job. I didn't want it in my conscience. Now, I realize I was wrong. I like kelticMom advise very much and some people will only understand this way.
I would also apply to another building, school, or district. But if you are going down, make sure you don't go down without a fight. If you going to stay make sure they know they ain't gonna f.... with you without consequences. Don't misunderstand me either, I am not saying to be unprofessional with them either. Make sure you go to school with a plan as to what you are going to say or do in case of this or that and also make sure that you are documenting even if you think it doesn't matter.

I know it is unfair but the ideal situation would be for you to get out of this hostile environment. I know many are going to tell you take the high road. We can always hope that they see the light of their errors and change their ways. In my situation, it only got worse. They gang up on me like a pack of hyenas and the rest of the faculty were to afraid to say or do anything.

I also want to say this stuff happens. I dislike it when people try to blame it on the person being bullied and say that if everyone hates that teacher is for a reason. I can not tell you how many times people judged other teachers only based solely on ill intended information spread and took action without knowing the actual facts.

Because it happened to me and I know how much this can affect you not only emotionally but physically, mentally, professionally, I wanted to say I believe you. I lost my soul, my faith, during this time in my life. One of the darkest episodes in my entire life. First because I just couldn't believe it was happening to me and remember how lonely and disappointing I felt knowing my colleagues just looked away. This stuff is still with me years later and I hope one day I can forget it.

I really hope that your situation improve whatever you decide to do. I wish some how I could be there to help you but sometimes there are things that we must experience alone. Please keep us up to date, you are important to us.

P.S. Please make sure that you go see your doctor about the physical symptoms.
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Document everything
Old 02-04-2019, 01:07 PM
 
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It wouldn't hurt to write down the dates and descriptions of the incidents that are happening to you. It concerns me that the untenured teacher is the principal's "pal" and there might come a time when you have to defend yourself. I also agree that looking for transfer or another district would be a good idea, and not accepting their rudeness by speaking up for yourself is tough, but I agree with that, too. Unless the principal mandates that everyone's bulletin board at a grade level has to look alike, what you do with your boards is not their business, especially since you tried to share and no one was interested. They can't have it both ways.
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Old 02-04-2019, 01:09 PM
 
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Iím sorry youíre working with such a wicked group of women. Youíve received some good advice. It might be beneficial to find a therapist and discuss your work situation. A therapist can help you find some coping strategies and ways to assert yourself. Donít let these people destroy you. Stay strong and seek help.
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Old 02-04-2019, 01:58 PM
 
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I would consider secretly recording your interactions.
Get a few nasty things on record and then start politely standing up for yourself, on record.
Then say I am going to record our interactions, hoping you will treat me in a professional manner.

But plan to transfer too.
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Old 02-04-2019, 05:00 PM
 
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I'm sorry you have to work with immature people like this. It sounds like they are jealous of you and they don't want you to show them up. I find that a lot of younger teachers today are very immature and don't know how to act in the adult world. I wouldn't want to witness pimple popping and those intimidate conversations with people I work with.


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WOW that is a nightmare place to work!
Old 02-04-2019, 05:18 PM
 
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Donít stay there! I canít believe people would be so terrible! I thought my bully was bad! Yours make mine seem like an angel! You have to leave. No one should put up with that. I had a principal that wore short skirts and strutted around like she was all that (she was really pretty) but still there is a time and place. There was also a clique that I was not in and would never have been in. I actually quit that job before the year ended. I went and subbed for a while until I got picked up half year in another district. It wasnít worth my health to stay.
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Old 02-05-2019, 03:05 PM
 
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I know it's easier said than done, but find a better place to work. Leave them behind and let them implode.
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Old 02-05-2019, 05:30 PM
 
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It's easy enough to say, "rise above it", but if you're dealing with coworkers this toxic and an unsupportive admin, you are also at risk of finding yourself fired and having no recourse. Report report report. Document every incident. If they try to hurt you, at least you'll have a paper trail.

I wouldn't attend any more meetings with these people. Discussions of sex are not only unprofessional, but they amount to sexual harassment in the workplace. If your principal gives you any trouble about sitting out these meetings, I would absolutely use that terminology and make it clear that their behavior is serious and even illegal. If you have a district administrator or an HR department, I would speak to them as well. "I told my principal I was being sexually harassed and threatened and she refused to act" isn't going to earn her any admin of the year awards. You should not have to tolerate this. I would also make a plan for leaving, if not this year then at the end of the year, for sure. You deserve better.
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So sorry! Good advice combined here...
Old 02-09-2019, 05:13 PM
 
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Tape record and document the disgusting conversations. Then email facts to the P. Print a copy and keep it at home along w/ any reply. Most P's do not reply to crap like that anything other than I'd like to meet to discuss this w/ you. Bring a union rep w/ you to this meeting as a witness. This step will make it so the district can not fire you on the P's request.
If you have a union worth beans, they'll make sure you get transferred and the mean girls/ admin are going to at least get written up for it. Probably nothing more....
If you are transferred, you won't have to deal w/them anymore. You shouldn't have to now. I am so sorry!
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