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I think I broke an unspoken rule at the supermarket...
Old 06-27-2017, 04:38 PM
  #1

I took DS with me today (early-ish, around 10:00), and the store was fairly slow. There wasn't the usual mob scene that there usually is and there weren't many kids around at all. Well, DS and I had a merry old time talking about fruits and veggies and what we could make out of them, and he helped me pack things into bags and into the cart (he's newly 4, and we're still working on following directions). Anyway, we had one of those really small carts (like 1/2 of a regular size one), and he and I were pushing it together. He was between me and the cart, helping me direct it. Please note, we didn't hit anyone or anyone's cart. I'll admit we bumped the end of a cooler in the meat department and we bumped the end of the counter when we checked out. So, if we weren't bothering anyone and were just talking between ourselves, why would a person say "I wish you parents would leave your dam*ed kids at home and not bother everyone else during the week"? Did we break some sort of rule that says kids have to stay home except on weekends? Are pre-schoolers not allowed to shop in the mornings? I just ignored it and went on my way, and DS wasn't fazed at all, but it's irritating me now. Would love some PT insight here. DS really was pretty fabulously behaved today.


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Wow...
Old 06-27-2017, 04:45 PM
  #2

I don't think there was anything wrong with you or your DS today. It does sound like some adult was super cranky and needed a nap or a snack, or both. People just say anything anymore and I just don't get it!
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Old 06-27-2017, 04:50 PM
  #3

I'm glad you took our son! I worry about people ordering online and picking up the groceries and the door. Kids learn SO MUCH going to the grocery store.

The person who said it was just a very cranky person.
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Grocery store
Old 06-27-2017, 04:50 PM
  #4

You did nothing wrong. You were fabulous with your son by allowing him to help & engaging him in educational conversation in the store.

Some people are quite rude and busybodies with issues that clearly don't concern them.


I would have said something like "people need to mind their own business.
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Old 06-27-2017, 04:50 PM
  #5

People are in such a hurry in today's society. Im guilty of it myself.

It makes me incredibly anxious whenever DS is in public and isn't super fast. That's not fair to DS. He's still learning! That being said, your DS will never learn if he isn't exposed to shopping and all that it entails.

You were fine. Don't let a grouchy person ruin a lovely trip with your DS. Good work, Mama!


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Old 06-27-2017, 04:51 PM
  #6

I think it's sweet that you took him and he helped you! I'm not a parent but even when I see kids acting naughty in the store, I give the parent (and the kid) the benefit of the doubt.

Last edited by readnteach13; 06-27-2017 at 04:51 PM.. Reason: Used wrong word
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Old 06-27-2017, 04:51 PM
  #7

I think that person must have been experiencing a bad day. Don't let it bother you, sounds like you had an enjoyable shopping experience with your child. Those moments are sweet and some dumb butt was being a jerk.

FWIW, when I was a SAHM I took my kiddos grocery shopping every Tuesday morning. It was the day the bus brought all the grandma and grandpas from the assisted living home to do their weekly shopping. My kids enjoyed it and I think the friends we made enjoyed visiting with my kids too.

Last edited by all41; 06-27-2017 at 05:16 PM..
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I just don't understand.....
Old 06-27-2017, 04:53 PM
  #8

People saying rude things just because they feel like it! In my first grade class, I teach "If you can't be kind, be quiet."
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Old 06-27-2017, 04:56 PM
  #9

Sounds like that old grouch is the one who needed to stay home.
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Old 06-27-2017, 05:14 PM
  #10

That was a rude thing to say. My kids have been shopping for groceries with me each Monday morning since they've been born (they're currently 4, 3, and I8 months). I stay home with them so it makes sense to go during the week. They certainly aren't always perfect, but we've gotten by just fine. Keep on taking him!


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Old 06-27-2017, 05:18 PM
  #11

Taking your son to the grocery store is such a great learning opportunity. At our local store they even have child sized buggies and just yesterday I went with my DD (5 yrs old) and let her push her own buggy. She also put her own groceries on the counter. That person just sounds like a grump. I probably would have been shocked and not sure how I would have replied.
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Old 06-27-2017, 05:20 PM
  #12

I don't think you were wrong.

I do wish there was a rule that parents should not be allowed to bring their 8 kids grocery shopping on the weekends when the store is the busiest!

Yes, this really happens in my community. Both parents come with the 8 kids ranging from about 11 to a newborn. They have four carts! They do not seem to get the concept they are blocking the aisle. They will not move even if you politely say excuse me. It is easier to skip that aisle and come back later!
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How rude!
Old 06-27-2017, 05:21 PM
  #13

As a first grade teacher, I applaud you for talking to your son and making your outing fun and educational. You're a great mom! Don't let the cranky, rude person ruin a nice experience. That was so out of line. Maybe you can be ready with a comeback if it happens again (although I sure hope it never does!). Something along the lines of, "I wish cranky old people would stay home and not bother parents and their children when they are shopping together."

Try to put it out of your mind. I'll say a prayer for the old coot.
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Old 06-27-2017, 05:35 PM
  #14

What a grumpy person you encountered. I think what you did with your son is so special. Keep up the great work as a mom. You handled that situation well. I think next time you do that with you son you should take some pictures and even video to mark the occasion.
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Old 06-27-2017, 05:54 PM
  #15

Since when can't kids go to the freaking grocery store? UGH!

I'm sorry that happened.
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Old 06-27-2017, 06:08 PM
  #16

Nope, just a grumpy person. It sounds like you were having a great time and making it a fun learning experience. The only time I get grumpy about kids in stores is when they are running wild with no supervision. Even then I keep my mouth shut unless it directly affects me. I have found the teacher look works sometimes. But you weren't doing anything wrong.
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I have seen moms like you before!
Old 06-27-2017, 06:10 PM
  #17

Yep, I have seen moms like you before and overhearing them visit with their children fills me with joy. It reminds me of times with my own children when they were little but most importantly its fills me with joy knowing that a mom and her child are living in the moment and sharing their lives.

Ignore the crabby person you met today. They may be depressed, have a loved one close to death, experiencing overwhelming debt or suffering from an abusive situation at home. Ya never know what turned them so sour. It's not about you.

You're a wonderful mom. Keep living in the moment with your little one. That's was life is all about!
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Old 06-27-2017, 06:40 PM
  #18

What a bitter rude person. I LOVE when I actually see parents in the store interacting and teaching their kids. It is so rare these days. I didntue same with both of mine. Good for you.
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Grocery Shopping w/Son
Old 06-27-2017, 06:48 PM
  #19

You did exactly what a good mom does w/her young 4 year old. I am bothered that some lady was so rude. I think I would have struggled to not reply. Dunno what I would have said. Maybe, "Well, he's just 4 so it'd be a bit scary for him at home all by himself and my salary certainly doesn't give me the luxury of a baby sitter so we're here having fun developing vocabulary and social skills -- like HOW TO BE NICE."

As a primary teacher, I have said something to kids or their parents in stores. I remember a mom w/1 baby & 2 toddlers/PreKs. One had popped some candy in his pockets @ checkout. I used "sign language" so she nodded & slyly picked his pockets & returned the candy w/o any1 else noticing anything. She was trying. (I've had students who have been trained by their parents to do this in stores, but I think he was just young and quick.) And I DO say something to elementary-age whiners @ checkout. "Really? That doesn't really work for you, does it?"

Now, that said, I am a bit annoyed by parents that pay no attention as their kids run around acting crazy. They're the same ones that expect a teacher to be satisfied w/said child's behavior when she/he has 30 others - many w/equally laissez faire parents. So, the stores w/signs that say, "Unattended children will be given an espresso and a kitten" make me giggle.
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Old 06-27-2017, 06:56 PM
  #20

Kudos for what you do with your child!

What makes me really sad is that you KNOW that you were doing what was right for your child and he had you second guessing yourself! What about the moms who rarely take their kids out who would be discouraged from doing so if they ran into someone like him?

It's so sad to me as a Kindergarten teacher when I see kids with so little life experience and vocabulary!
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Old 06-27-2017, 07:16 PM
  #21

Oh my word! You were being a good parent, enjoying being with your son and teaching him. You didn't break any rule, but that grouchy person sure broke some etiquette rules! I'd have wanted to be nasty back. I guess that wouldn't be any better. Maybe it would be better to say something like, "I am so sorry you're having a bad day today. I hope it improves soon" and smile.
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Old 06-27-2017, 08:04 PM
  #22

Sounds like an a$$hole. You do you. That person would have complained about a quick checkout.
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Old 06-27-2017, 09:14 PM
  #23

I am the opposite and tell parents that I am glad to see them talking and teaching their child. Don't let it bother you.
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Shopping
Old 06-27-2017, 09:14 PM
  #24

You are doing a great job building vocabulary and real life experiences with your little guy. Some people are just rude. Have a wonderful summer. Forget about it and plan a trip to the zoo.
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Old 06-28-2017, 03:06 AM
  #25

I am sorry that happened because it sounds like you and DS had a lovely day!! I think you also taught your DS valuable lesson--just ignore people when they are rude. I hope you continue to bring your DS to the grocery store
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Old 06-28-2017, 04:45 AM
  #26

I agree 110% with MKat.

I bet if your DS had been stuck in the cart playing with your phone the old coot would have grumbled about parents ignoring their kids!

I loved grocery shopping with my mom as a kid and I can't wait until DD is old enough to know what's going on! I wonder what your grump would say about me shopping with my 4 month old in her carseat in the cart!
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Old 06-28-2017, 05:39 AM
  #27

It sounds like you were model parent and child shoppers. Personally, I would love to witness shoppers such as you and your son. It is rare and amazing to see a parent actually use a shopping trip as a learning experience. I see so many kids running through the store, begging for things or throwing tantrums. I see so many parents yelling at their kids, telling them no, or just plain ignoring their child. At best, I see parents and children who are in the store together, but not usually interacting socially, because they are there to shop.

By all means take your son to the store and show the world how wonderful shopping with a child can be.
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Old 06-28-2017, 05:59 AM
  #28

I just wanted to add something...

I'm actually a little jealous of your trip! DS rarely goes to the store with me anymore because the whole activity causes his little sensory system to completely overload. I miss grocery shopping with him and discussing what we're buying.

As I said before, good job, Mama!
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Old 06-28-2017, 06:23 AM
  #29

It sounds like you were having a lovely time with your boy. Personally, I would much rather see children at the grocery store on a weekday than a weekend when it's ridiculously busy.

"I wish you parents would leave your dam*ed kids at home and not bother everyone else during the week". Because I'm a little passive-aggressive, I probably would have looked him/her up and down, raised one eyebrow (which amazingly makes people wonder what's wrong with their clothes) and say, "when you say 'everyone', did you just mean 'you'?", give him/her a chilly smile and walk away.

But what you did by ignoring it was much better.
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Old 06-28-2017, 06:31 AM
  #30

I probably would have said, "I wish you grumpy people would stay home all the time so you don't bother other people!"
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Cranky.
Old 06-28-2017, 07:54 AM
  #31

That person was probably a cranky curmudgeon. I'm often a cranky curmudgeon so I should know. I would never curse or gripe at someone in a store. Why are parents with children always on the chopping block? Would it be acceptable to tell an elderly person on a motorized cart to stay home if they bumped the counter?

Please keep taking him to the store. Keep modeling and reinforcing good behavior, waiting patiently, building vocabulary, and navigating public spaces.

Good job, Mom.
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