Rehearsal Dinner Question - ProTeacher Community




      
Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      TEACHERS' LOUNGE ARCHIVE


Rehearsal Dinner Question

>

 
 
Thread Tools
SeaGlass's Avatar
SeaGlass SeaGlass is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Senior Member

SeaGlass
 
SeaGlass's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Senior Member
Rehearsal Dinner Question
Old 07-14-2008, 05:05 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

My MIL and I are having a discussion. My husband and I are hosting a rehearsal dinner for my son and his fiancee. I haven't done any inviting yet(we have over a month to go). It will be at a casual restaurant in town. Here is the question:

Do we invite the bridesmaid's boyfriends/husbands and the usher's girlfriends/wives to dine with us even tho they are not in the wedding? One of the usher/bridesmaid is already a couple. I say yes because some of them are from out of town and their SO would be alone if they don't go to eat with us. I just don't know.


My MIL says we should NOT do that because its JUST for the wedding party and parents and of course GRANDPARENTS!


SeaGlass is offline  

cardinallady cardinallady is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 878
Senior Member

cardinallady
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 878
Senior Member
Up to You
Old 07-14-2008, 05:07 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

I think it is completely up to you and your husband, especially if you are the ones paying for it. I don't see a problem with it.
cardinallady is offline  
DaisyGirl94's Avatar
DaisyGirl94 DaisyGirl94 is offline
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 200
Full Member

DaisyGirl94
 
DaisyGirl94's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 200
Full Member

Old 07-14-2008, 05:08 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

I got married last summer and when my inlaws invited people to the rehearsal dinner, every member of the wedding party plus their significant other (married or not) were invited to the party. We were not really on a budget and space was not a problem so it didn't really matter. I think the wedding party was more relaxed having someone there that they knew and was comfortable with!!! Good luck with the rest of the planning!!

Daisy
DaisyGirl94 is offline  
curlygirl2 curlygirl2 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,186
Senior Member

curlygirl2
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,186
Senior Member
Yes, invite them
Old 07-14-2008, 05:11 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

It is kind of rude NOT to invite them. That's just my opinion. If it is casual you don't need to make an announcement perhaps to invites the significant others, but if they ask you can tell them. Or make it known. Up to you, but I wouldn't want to go without my significant other. For the wedding are you also inviting boyfriends/girlfriends? If so, I think you should follow suit for the RD.

Have fun!
curlygirl2 is offline  
lmn's Avatar
lmn lmn is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 365
Senior Member

lmn
 
lmn's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 365
Senior Member
Rehearsal dinner
Old 07-14-2008, 05:22 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

If you are hosting the dinner, you may invite anyone you want. I think it is very thoughtful and generous of you to think of others' SO, and how they might be alone if not invited. There is no hard and fast rule about who can or can't be invited. It's your party.


lmn is offline  
sambrolaw's Avatar
sambrolaw sambrolaw is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,498
Senior Member

sambrolaw
 
sambrolaw's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,498
Senior Member

Old 07-14-2008, 05:24 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

Quote:
If you are hosting the dinner, you may invite anyone you want.

I agree! My boyfriend's best friend is getting married in a couple of weeks and since he is not a groomsman (just brothers), he is inviting my boyfriend and I to the rehearsal dinner. I think you can invite whomever you'd like to.
sambrolaw is offline  
Chick's Avatar
Chick Chick is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 505
Senior Member

Chick
 
Chick's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 505
Senior Member
Rehearsal Dinner
Old 07-14-2008, 05:27 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

I think from all I've read, it is up to you. Having just gone through a wedding with one of my friends (from the elite side of town), they invited everybody...significant others, all immediate family (aunts, uncles, 1st cousins..), and close family friends..to the rehearsal dinner. I, too, feel it will make the bridesmaids and ushers feel more at ease, especially those who are married.
Chick is offline  
tweet tweet is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,746
Senior Member

tweet
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,746
Senior Member
guest list
Old 07-14-2008, 05:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

As you are the hosts, the guest list is up to you. Two summers ago when my DS got married, I invited the wedding party plus guests for the single ones, grandparents, the preacher and wife (who did not attend, but when I married my preacher and wife DID come), immediate family members and some out-of-town guests as well. My uncle played the piano at the reception, but not the wedding per church requirements--only their hired organist could use the organ. He and my aunt came to the rehearsal dinner. My DH and I were paying for it, so I invited who I wanted to.
tweet is offline  
rhubarb's Avatar
rhubarb rhubarb is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 5,553
Senior Member

rhubarb
 
rhubarb's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 5,553
Senior Member
significant other POV
Old 07-14-2008, 05:33 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

If you are hosting aka paying for the rehearsal dinner then MIL's opinion gets nixed. If I were the spouse/friend of someone in the bridal party/ushers I would be appalled if I were not invited.

MIL is wrong.
rhubarb is offline  
Mandamay's Avatar
Mandamay Mandamay is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 191
Full Member

Mandamay
 
Mandamay's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 191
Full Member
Definitely invite
Old 07-14-2008, 05:35 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

I would say due to several of them being from out of town, you should invite them. I got married last year and all of my family and my husband's family are from out of state. We invited anyone who was from out of state. I think of it like this...if the person in the wedding is at a nice dinner, what is the girlfriend/wife doing for dinner? Sitting at the hotel? Trying to find somewhere to eat in an unfamiliar city? I also worried about a lot of them who traveled so far having the expense of yet another meal. I have also been in or involved in half a dozen weddings...the boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife has always been invited. But, ultimately it is up to you!


Mandamay is offline  
bookgeek59's Avatar
bookgeek59 bookgeek59 is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 14,591
Senior Member

bookgeek59
 
bookgeek59's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 14,591
Senior Member
When I got married last year
Old 07-14-2008, 05:36 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

We had what we called a "family dinner" since not all members of both immediate families had met yet. We also called it a family dinner bc ours was a brief, informal ceremony that didn't need a big rehearsal. We just had a 10 minute run-through the morning of the wedding.

We invited boyfriends and girlfriends bc most couples had been together pretty long term. As a matter of fact, since my wedding 2 of the couples are now engaged. I'm glad to hear you're doing it at a casual restaurant. You should be able to relax and enjoy the intimacy of this meal. We opted for an awesome family owned Italian place that does homemade EVERYTHING. My husband and I both cook well so we each made a couple desserts that are family favorites. If you can't talk chocolate, after all, there's a problem.

Enjoy the planning, and invite who you and the happy couple would like to spend the evening with.
bookgeek59 is offline  
Krissy's Avatar
Krissy Krissy is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,159
Senior Member

Krissy
 
Krissy's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,159
Senior Member
Invite them
Old 07-14-2008, 06:03 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

We invited the entire bridal party plus their significant others. It is just proper etiquette. Plus, the guests of the bridal party are most likely going to be attending the wedding as well.
Krissy is offline  
TLC's Avatar
TLC TLC is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,918
Senior Member

TLC
 
TLC's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,918
Senior Member
grandma is mistaken
Old 07-14-2008, 06:21 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

You should invite their significant other or your dinner party will be short lived. Everyone will escape as soon as possible.
I also invited all family that was in from out of town, pastor and wife, organist and husband, parents of ring bearer and flower girl.
But really, this is YOUR party and you may invite whomever you please.
It is a celebration of the joining of two people, and ultimately two families. You get to make the rules!
TLC is offline  
Roxi Roxi is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 190
Full Member

Roxi
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 190
Full Member
I agree with TLC
Old 07-14-2008, 06:43 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

Make your own rules. That being said......Any I have been to, including mine, included an invitation to all involved in the wedding (bridesmaids, groomsmen, pastor, director, musicians, flower girl, etc.), out of town guests, and any honored guests and their dates/spouses.

Try to think about...Those spouses from out of town would be doing what during the dinner if they weren't invited?


Let us know what you decide & how it goes.
Roxi is offline  
books4me books4me is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 381
Full Member

books4me
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 381
Full Member

Old 07-14-2008, 06:49 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

We were on a budget. We did invite everyone, but we did indicate that we would pay for the wedding party and would appreciate others paying for their own. It was not a problem and they were good about it.
books4me is offline  
hljg's Avatar
hljg hljg is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 320
Full Member

hljg
 
hljg's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 320
Full Member
once upon a time.....
Old 07-14-2008, 07:02 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

you invited all out of town guests (wedding party, family, etc.) Now you can invite who you want. With that being said......you should invite all SO of the wedding party---out of town or not---. Go with what you think is right.




p.s. I'm sort of an etiquette buff....I have OCD issues when it comes to what a person does in certain situations!!!! My family LOVES this about me!
hljg is offline  
FancyFish's Avatar
FancyFish FancyFish is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,972
Senior Member

FancyFish
 
FancyFish's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 5,972
Senior Member

Old 07-14-2008, 07:04 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

Since you are hosting the dinner, invite whomever you want. I think that since some of the significant others are from out of town, it would be a nice gesture to include all of them, if it is feasible.
FancyFish is offline  
SunGirl's Avatar
SunGirl SunGirl is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,097
Senior Member

SunGirl
 
SunGirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,097
Senior Member
Rehearsal dinner
Old 07-14-2008, 07:22 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

The tradition in my family, and our close family friends, is to invite all the wedding party and their families, and we also invite family who is coming from out of town, and our close family friends. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner turns into such a fun time, and it starts the whole wedding off in a great way! In fact, we were just retelling a great wedding rehearsal dinner story, from 3 years ago, last night.
SunGirl is offline  
Keeks44 Keeks44 is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 496
Senior Member

Keeks44
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 496
Senior Member

Old 07-14-2008, 07:53 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

For our rehearsal dinner we invited out of town guests, parents, grandparents, bridal party and their dates.

Ultimately it's your choice. Have you asked your son & soon to be DIL what they think?

I've been to rehearsals with a few people and ones that are similar size to the wedding. It all depends on what you want to do. Good luck! MILs are fun.
Keeks44 is offline  
vateacher's Avatar
vateacher vateacher is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,218
Senior Member

vateacher
 
vateacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,218
Senior Member

Old 07-14-2008, 08:26 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #20

I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding this August and I can say that it would make things harder for me if my boyfriend were not invited to the rehearsal dinner. Especially since we're coming in from out of town and he would be left to his own devices that evening. Everything I've gotten has been an invitation to me plus one guest. I would think it would be awkward otherwise. Anyway since you feel that it's appropriate to invite the significant others, you should do it and not worry about what MIL says. I just think it's proper etiquette. Congratulations on your son's upcoming wedding!
vateacher is offline  
tharp18's Avatar
tharp18 tharp18 is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 69
Junior Member

tharp18
 
tharp18's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 69
Junior Member
rehearsal dinner
Old 07-14-2008, 08:38 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #21

I will be celebrating my one year anniversary next week. My in-laws threw our rehearsal dinner and they did invite boyfriends/girlfriends. I think that it makes everyone feel more at ease. I will be attending a rehearsal dinner next week and my husband is invited. I think that most people expect it to be done that way. Hope this helps. Good luck!
tharp18 is offline  
catlover76 catlover76 is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 371
Full Member

catlover76
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 371
Full Member
Rehearsal dinner
Old 07-14-2008, 10:21 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #22

My sister got married last Saturday and her in-laws had the wedding party plus the significant others attend the dinner. I was in a friend's wedding a long time ago and my husband was not invited to the rehearsal dinner and I thought that was rude. That's just my opinion, though. I think it's nice to have the significant others to attend, but you do what you want to do. It's your decision.
catlover76 is offline  
SeaGlass's Avatar
SeaGlass SeaGlass is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Senior Member

SeaGlass
 
SeaGlass's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Senior Member
Thank you!
Old 07-14-2008, 12:31 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #23

We wanted to invite Significant Others and some other family but wanted to make sure we were feeling the way many of you feel. I always 2nd guess myself on these matters with the MIL. Thanks for the help!
SeaGlass is offline  
Ima Teacher's Avatar
Ima Teacher Ima Teacher is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 28,793
Senior Member

Ima Teacher
 
Ima Teacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 28,793
Senior Member

Old 07-14-2008, 12:38 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #24

We had the wedding party, our parents, and any spouses and children.
Ima Teacher is offline  
teachnkids's Avatar
teachnkids teachnkids is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 25,284
Senior Member

teachnkids
 
teachnkids's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 25,284
Senior Member

Old 07-14-2008, 01:25 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #25

I would say the SOs should be included. When DD was a flower girl we were not in the wedding, but were included in the rehearsal dinner. I think that I would invite the bridal party and SOs plus if you are able any other out of town guests that might already be in town. Of course this may bite me in the butt when I'm doing this for my DS as we are the only ones of my family that live in NC, so ALL family and many friends would be out of town guests!!!
teachnkids is offline  
jbug jbug is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 53
Junior Member

jbug
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 53
Junior Member
We did....
Old 07-15-2008, 04:56 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #26

We invited the wedding party and guest, whether it was spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. We also asked them to RSVP just so we wouldn't have food for 75 and only 45 came. Ended up, we paid for 50 and had about 43 or so.

We also invited grandparents, and family of those in the wedding party that were relatives (if that makes sense).

Hope you have a wonderful time!
jbug is offline  

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

 

 

>
TEACHERS' LOUNGE ARCHIVE
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:46 AM.


Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net