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Friday Funday Jokes
Old 07-01-2022, 12:53 AM
  #1

I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's yesterday.

Boy, was that kid's mom mad.


Doctor, I keep having this dream that I'm a tailpipe.

Doctor says. "Relax. You're exhausted."


I bought a hot tub without consulting my husband.

Now I'm in hot water.


We fired the guy who cuts our lawn.

He wasn't cutting it.


What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name


Does anyone else have a joke today?


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Jokes
Old 07-01-2022, 01:51 AM
  #2

Q: : Why did the cell phone get glasses?
A: Because she lost all her contacts.


Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.


Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.


Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.


Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.


Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.


Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up
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Old 07-01-2022, 04:34 AM
  #3

An oldie:


"Doctor, doctor, you've got to help my brother. It's really serious!"

"Ok, what seems to be wrong with him?"

"He's been acting like a chicken, and he's been squawking and cackling frequently."

"Oh, this sounds very unusual. How long has it been going on?"

"For about three weeks."

"Three weeks? If it's been going on for three weeks, why are you waiting until now to tell me?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, doctor, we really needed the eggs."
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Old 07-01-2022, 07:37 AM
  #4

I just read this one online:

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.
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Fun jokes
Old 07-01-2022, 08:59 AM
  #5

Thank you for posting. I always enjoy the jokes.


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Happy 4th
Old 07-01-2022, 12:27 PM
  #6

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Liber-tea.

What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Indepen-dance.

If you crossed a Patriot with a curly-haired dog, what would you get?
Yankee Poodle.

What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!

What did the ghost say on the 4th of July?
Red, white & boo!

What do ducks love about the 4th of July?
Fire quackers.

How did the Boston colonists’ dogs protest against England?
The Boston Flea Party.

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