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Can we start a child exchange program?
Old 06-29-2020, 06:27 AM
  #1

I have a cute, highly energetic 5 year old boy.
*Proficient in toy distribution in all rooms of the house.
*Highly skilled in repetitive questioning
*Advanced voice decibel levels

Willing to trade for moody teenager


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Old 06-29-2020, 06:42 AM
  #2

I don't know if you want to go there. That moody teenager will be proficient at clothing distribution, highly skilled in shoulder shrugs, and advanced music decibel levels, plus they eat more and their clothes are more expensive.
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Old 06-29-2020, 07:19 AM
  #3

I have a 17 year old. We could trade! Mine has the following strengths:
•able to find the negative in anything
•low maintenance as long as left alone to use electronics
•knows everything already so no need to teach
•eats put of house and home
•hates running but wants to be a runner without apparently running
•scatters things throughout the area
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I traded
Old 06-29-2020, 07:23 AM
  #4

my empty nest and peace and quiet for a few days with a sweet eight year old who is eating all my grapes, asking a million and one questions, teaching me all about egyptology, helping put away groceries and cooking breakfast, and enjoying learning how to play virtual reality games, and hopes to go to a civil war battlefield tomorrow.

I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I'm going to be sad to give her back.
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Enjoy
Old 06-29-2020, 07:23 AM
  #5

someday your ears won't hear those advance decibels
you will be asking repetitive questions
you may be leaving your things around the house
you may be dependent on them feeding you
you'll wish you could shrug your frozen shoulders

They won't be five for ever or teens for that matter
Easy for me to say. It has been a most unusual time. Your world, their world, our world has just been through 4 months like we've never known before and facing whose knows in the future.

Just love them for the moment. I'm looking out at a 50 year old Radio Flyer Wagon that stands now as a lawn ornament in the butterfly garden I think of it was the most unusual baby gift.

Enough rambling all this to say I feel your angst. Can I add a puttering 76 year old DH into the trade?


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I got you!
Old 06-29-2020, 07:46 AM
  #6

I can see your 5 year old and raise you a 15 year old girl and 19 year old guy. BONUS 19 year old comes with a girlfriend and mini weiner dog.

15 yo girl model will pretty much stay in her room sleeping or on facetime with her bf. Only comes out when she wants crushed ice and water from QT or has soccer practice. Usually nice but when in the right mood everything you say may or may not be annoying or dumb.

19 yo boy model is self sustaining, works, pays all his own bills, goes to college, but is still a little lacking in the picking up after himself part. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Has been living with a roommate in a house but is in process of moving with gf, said mini weiner, and his best friend roommate. May have to live at your place for like a month depending on if they get approved for this house today or not.

Last edited by Claire; 06-29-2020 at 09:14 AM..
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Cruxian....
Old 06-29-2020, 07:50 AM
  #7



Wants to be a runner without apparently having to run....

I feel this.
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Old 06-29-2020, 07:56 AM
  #8

Love all of your your reply~ Especially “Your world, their world, our world.”
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Old 06-29-2020, 08:12 AM
  #9

Boy do I have an offer for you!! It’s buy one, get one free! 2 for the low price of 1!
With purchase, you get:
- 1 set of twins 4 almost 5
- boy and girl!!! All you have ever wanted!!
- enjoys swimming.... everyday
- complains when cant do things independently, but wants to do them independently.
- lonely??? Not now!! They follow you everywhere.
- they enjoy pets. But pets may be traumatized after they leave due to over playing.

Must return Aug. 3rd to prepare for daycare. 🤣🤣🤣
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Old 06-29-2020, 08:33 AM
  #10

I have a 5-year-old and a teenager. Trust me. Keep your 5-year-old. In 10 years you'll understand why.


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Old 06-29-2020, 08:34 AM
  #11

This thread is cracking me up. I don't think I'm strong enough for twins....

Last edited by Claire; 06-29-2020 at 09:15 AM..
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Willing to Trade
Old 06-29-2020, 08:42 AM
  #12

Y'all,

I have enjoyed this post more than anything in a long time. I've raised my children and now all of my grandchildren are in their twenties and I can identify with the stages that you are going through!

Soon enough it is over and you look back fondly over the years and you want to take some of those days or years back.

Keep up your wonderful sense of humor!

Rock on, Ladies!
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Old 06-29-2020, 08:54 AM
  #13

Currently dealing with an unpredictable and often cranky 63 year old husband who acts like a five year old at times. Extremely messy and disorganized I should add. Not sure a trade with you would be in your favor, more like a lateral move I guess.
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Y'all!
Old 06-29-2020, 09:01 AM
  #14

This thread is HILARIOUS!!

I am childless by choice, but I'm so thoroughly enjoying the posts. And lilyclaire, I loved the husband one!

Thanks, you guys, for the laughs!!
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Old 06-29-2020, 09:13 AM
  #15

I don't have kids bothering me, bit I can give you a 2 for 1 deal on dogs!

.....love to be outside then inside then outside......on and on
.....Still manage to think everything on the table is theirs to eat
......dig up the yard so much it looks like moon craters out there
......drink a gallon of water after the last potty break of the night, so you have to do just one more potty break.

You can keep then until their dad comes to get them, which might be Thanksgiving!
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Old 06-29-2020, 09:13 AM
  #16

Oh HELL NO! One husband is enough. I'll take the twins first.
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kids
Old 06-29-2020, 10:08 AM
  #17

This is a great thread. Thanks for the laughs!
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Old 06-29-2020, 10:48 AM
  #18

Quote:
Boy do I have an offer for you!! It’s buy one, get one free! 2 for the low price of 1!
With purchase, you get:
- 1 set of twins 4 almost 5
- boy and girl!!! All you have ever wanted!!
- enjoys swimming.... everyday
- complains when cant do things independently, but wants to do them independently.
- lonely??? Not now!! They follow you everywhere.
- they enjoy pets. But pets may be traumatized after they leave due to over playing.
My b/g twins, are 25, self sufficient college grads living on their own that did all those things too. DD and fiance just arrived Sat. For a nice long visit

Just think, you only have 20-21 more years to reach this point!
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Old 06-29-2020, 11:02 AM
  #19

Haha!!

Anyone have a quiet moody kid? I have a friendly talker to trade!

DD is a tween and a great kid. She does chores and everything. But she LOVES to talk..all day everyday. Every single thought she has she says and says loudly. I really need quiet to function, my classroom was always low volume. I love her and want her to be herself, but I just cannot with the constant high volume narrating of her day. She's creative, intelligent, and awesome. But the talking..... So much talking. Please help
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Old 06-29-2020, 11:26 AM
  #20

I've got a 15 year old that I cannot get to finish his online driver's ed or even start his summer reading assignment.

I will trade for a sassy under 5 girl!
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Old 06-29-2020, 05:54 PM
  #21

I am loving reading this tread, and laughing out loud!

As far as I am concerned, our children are 33, 30 and 20. I think I'll pass up on this trade simply because if I take the 5 year old I know what's coming down the road !

Nancy
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