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Old 07-02-2020, 06:07 AM
  #1

A post the other day about adding an app so that a person could know where someone was at all times got me thinking. I have kids in their mid to late 20's. I would never ask them to let me know their whereabouts all the time. I can't imagine doing it. I don't want to know where my parents or my husband are at all times, and I would never have wanted them to know my location. I was very independent, and I raised my kids to be independent adults.

I also don't spend my time worrying about them.

What about you? Am I normal, or do most people wish they had this access? Just curious.

PS. I do think that in the early years of our marriage, I might have wanted to use this once in a while with my dh. but looking back, I can see how it might cause more trouble than good. I wouldn't do it, but it would have been tempting.


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Old 07-02-2020, 06:13 AM
  #2

Not for me, thanks, I canít think of a need. Iíd like to think I can trust the people I love.

However, I think my DD can track my phone in case Iím out solo walking and something bad happened to me.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:20 AM
  #3

Never had it, but I can see where it could be useful to track your teens, especially those just starting to drive, and older parents especially if they live alone like Amiga, and tend to be active.

I don't really worry about my 25 year old twins ( much ) who both live in big cities, but don't live alone so someone would notice if they were missing or badly hurt ( and hopefully tell me!)
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:22 AM
  #4

Nope, I think it would raise more questions than would be necessary. I do teach with a girl whose husband owns a line of trucks that move gravel, sand, dirt, etc. and is also a hunter in all seasons. She has it in case he has an accident and can't ask for help. It seems to cause more worry than help because I have seen her stress for hours if his app showed he was in the woods/quarries for an extended period of time and he wasn't answering his phone. I am ok with not knowing until I need to know.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:23 AM
  #5

I know some people use them for creepy reasons, but most people I know have them for safety. People who travel alone, older family members with dementia, etc. MOST of the people I know use them to keep tabs on their preteen/teen kids--again, mostly for safety, but also for accountability.


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Old 07-02-2020, 06:25 AM
  #6

With teens, I have used the app. A few check ins so I knew they where they said and I am good. And yes, a few times they were caught not being honest.

With DH who does lots of biking and running alone and has some health conditions, I would like to know where he is. However, I do not use the app with him.

Another advantage is for when DD is driving home from college.

I guess it all depends on your family situation.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:26 AM
  #7

I don't want to know where others are; I don't want others to know where I am!

We just put in a home security system with a camera. When the front door opens, it will notify us via phone.

I hate it. I can't tell you how often dh will call and ask "where are you going?" after I've walked out the door. Not to check up on me, just generally being curious when his phone dings and he see me on camera. I guess he's really bored or something.

So annoying. I've told him to lay off. It makes me feel like I'm being spied on.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:28 AM
  #8

I'd use it for kids/teens, but not for adults.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:32 AM
  #9

I can think of a few rare instances when it would be useful. Mostly, I find it an invasion of privacy. And part of growing up is that occasional subterfuge with your parents. Itís how you learn to navigate the world.

Also, I get annoyed when DH checks me in on FB without asking me first. I donít need/want people to know where I am.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:34 AM
  #10

Ok I used Find My IPhone for DD when she www in middle school. She always texted me when she got gone or would respond to a text if I asked her if sheíd gotten gone. One day radio silence. I looked at find my iPhoneó-she was unexpectedly needed after school for a drama production and was scared sheíd be in trouble if she used her phone. Knowing her I figured out what had happened and felt much better.


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Old 07-02-2020, 06:48 AM
  #11

Quote:
part of growing up is that occasional subterfuge with your parents. Itís how you learn to navigate the world.
I agree with you. They deserve privacy. And we wouldn't have a need during SIP, anyway.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:13 AM
  #12

Yes, for teens during these times. I check on them occasionally when they are out with friends. When my son goes to college, I'll turn it off...as long as he answers my texts and calls!
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:15 AM
  #13

My husband drives for Uber, and the app has a tracking thing that he shares to me so I can see where he is while he is driving. This is so I can be assured that he is safe.

Otherwise, my husband is on Facebook a lot so if we are not together, I check. Facebook messenger to see when he was last on and that reassures me. I donít know about a tracking app.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:18 AM
  #14

I could see doing this when my kids learn to drive, but otherwise no. I certainly have no desire to track the adults in my life, or to be tracked myself.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:25 AM
  #15

My husband and I have it for each other in case one of us would go missing. I wish my daughter would connect hers. She lives alone. I would only check it if she went missing, but it has to be her choice.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:26 AM
  #16

Little too much. I do have find my phone for my dd in case of emergency. Most of the time I really donít want to know what she is doing
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:27 AM
  #17

A coworker has it on her daughterís phone but I donít think the daughter knows it. This mother is extremely overprotective.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:35 AM
  #18

It would have been useful for me a couple of years ago, when DH was in the earlier stages of dementia and actually carried his phone around. Now there's someone with him all the time, so it's not an issue.

My SIL tracks her 19 year old son, and has for years. I find that creepy. I don't track my 19 year old son. I figure he's responsible, or responsible enough to keep any bad behavior from me.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:43 AM
  #19

I think it might have given DD peace of mind when DGS was 'latch key' riding the school bus home. His stop was at end of their long street. He was good about calling once he got in the house. There were times his bus was delayed. Grade schoolers weren't allowed to use phones on bus or at school.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:44 AM
  #20

I have it for my daughterís phone. Started using it when she was in middle school and she was staying after school for activities or hanging out with friends more. It was really good for when she started driving. It wasnít about not trusting, just safety. Donít really use it much as she is very open and honest and will delete it when she goes to college this fall.
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:46 AM
  #21

I never had it with our kids, and probably would have driven myself crazy knowing where they were all the time. However, there were a few times when my DD said she was somewhere and I drove by to check that her car was where she said she was! And she told her little brother that I would do the same to him, so he'd better be honest!
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Old 07-02-2020, 07:58 AM
  #22

I can see where itís useful and at the same time could be an invasion of privacy.

Unless dementia is involved I wouldnít want to track my spouse or be tracked. My DH has a flip phone so no tracking possible there. He does have a Tile on his keys due to a frantic search for them we never want to repeat and it does show general location.

As for kids, I can see the usefulness when they are old enough to venture off on their own, but there does come a time when parents have to delete the app and let their child become an adult.
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Old 07-02-2020, 08:45 AM
  #23

I know many people who use it with their middle school/high school kids.

One of my friends has a son who just finished seventh grade. They can track each other but her husband doesnít have it turned on. She will check his location at needed, but heís 13 so heís mostly with her if heís not at school anyway.

Many times when sheís leaving our school to go pick him up from his school sheíll tell him to just track her and he comes outside when he sees her at his school. It works for them.
She also uses screentime on their iPhones to track his phone/app usage. She has it set up to turn off access to certain apps during school hours and his WiFi turns off at night and back on at a certain time in the morning.

I couldnít see it being used with an adult unless itís for safety reasons.
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Old 07-02-2020, 08:54 AM
  #24

Somettimes it would be handy for my mom,81, but she doesn't remember to carry her phone all too often! ����
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Old 07-02-2020, 09:15 AM
  #25

My husband, myself, my adult daughter (lives is another city), and adult deployed (out of country) son are all on it. I rarely look at it unless I need to see if my husband has already gone past a store or something. I donít have any notifications set up, but it gives me a sense of peace to see them and be connected in a way I guess. We have healthy levels of trust and no one has questioned anything or really ever brings it up. I donít ask questions (and usually donít want to know what my son is up to) but we are also all on Snapchat and snap pics or comments on most days too. We canít really group text because of the time differences. Funny enough, my daughter used it to find me because she tried to call and I didnít answer so she looked on Life360 and saw where my husband and I were and called us out on Snap for being at this restaurant and not answering her call. I thought it was funny how the tables turned and it didnít bother me.
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Old 07-02-2020, 09:27 AM
  #26

I used the find my iPhone app on my parents a few years ago. They were traveling cross country and they hadnít answered their phones or replied to texts all day. I was getting worried so I checked. They had moved from the place they stayed the night and at the time I checked they were eating dinner. My mom said she just forgot to reply . Thatís the only time Iíve used something like that.
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Old 07-02-2020, 09:49 AM
  #27

Quote:
They were traveling cross country and they hadnít answered their phones or replied to texts all day. I was getting worried so I checked.
. The most worry I ever have is when someone is supposed to contact and they don't, like college age children who don't "report" when they got in I worry. If I don't ask them to text when they get it, much less worry. Same with my parents. Sometimes letting go is a bit easier!
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Old 07-02-2020, 10:06 AM
  #28

One of my teammates uses that find iphone app or whatever (I don't have an iphone, IDK exactly what it is ) with her parents and spouse. She is constantly looking at it to see where everyone is and I've always thought it was a bit strange. Every day she would check to make sure her husband was picking up her child from school. I guess it gives her peace of mind but that speaks to some major underlying anxiety to me.

Personally I'm glad I grew up in an era before all of this tech with parents being able to spy so much on their kids. Most of the time I stayed out of trouble but independence was important to me.

My mom did look into it with my grandpa who had Alzheimer's. It progressed very slowly with him and there were many years where he had a lot more independence. That could have lasted for longer had my mom had the ability to track his phone/see where he was at all times.

He was always a good driver and even passed a test to keep his license, but she had to take away his keys after a few times of him driving off and nobody knowing where he went/him not being able to say where he went. This was an issue because he also had a heart condition and needed medication at very specific times of the day. Unfortunately, it couldn't work because he's not of the generation that was used to having his phone on him at all times, so she couldn't guarantee he'd take it. It may work with future generations where it's more ingrained to take the phone every time they leave the whole.
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Old 07-02-2020, 11:10 AM
  #29

My DD turned it on for me when she was 16 hours away at college. Also, now she enables it when she travels. I always forget to check it unless Iím concerned.
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Old 07-02-2020, 06:25 PM
  #30

Quote:
Quote:
part of growing up is that occasional subterfuge with your parents. Itís how you learn to navigate the world.
I agree with you. They deserve privacy. And we wouldn't have a need during SIP, anyway.
In todayís day and age, they need to learn to ditch the phone if they donít want to be caught. Pretending that we have any semblance of privacy with all the devices is not the real world.
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Old 07-02-2020, 09:23 PM
  #31

I have not used it and will not unless it's a safety issue (demential is a great example).


I won't track my teens. Yes, sometimes they say they are somewhere that they are not. Weren't we all? They need to become independent from me, and being tracked is not offering them that opportunity. Especially once they start driving. If I feel they are responsible enough to drive, then they are responsible enough not to be tracked everywhere they go.
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