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Suggestions for elderly mom staying with me
Old 04-03-2019, 05:23 AM
  #1

My elderly mom has been in the hospital for 17 days. Itís a really long story but the short version is she had abdominal pain, they found a metal screw in her, they took it out of her small intestine, then she got a UTI, which affected her Mind. Sheís suffering from mental fogginess after being in the hospital for so long. Short term memory issues that sort of thing.
We are already looking into the legal aspect of why a colonoscopy screw has been in my mom for six months. But the main point of map post is that she is coming to my house after she gets out of the hospital instead of going home with my dad. My dad is 81 and even though heís doing OK for an 81-year-old he is not prepared mentally to help my mom right now.

So I have ordered a memory foam mattress topper for the extra bedroom to give her more support, a waterproof mattress pad, Incontinence pads, a new blanket that keeps her warm because sheís cold all the time. Iím thinking about getting the thing that you put on your toilet to make it sit up higher. Iím in the process of getting cable put in her room. Sheís going to have a walker. The way my house is set up is the master bedroom is on one side of the house but the other bedrooms are on the other side of the house and itís about 2200 ft.≤ Iím trying to figure out what to get her so that she can get my attention if she needs me in the middle of the night. She doesnít do cell phones. Iím thinking maybe a bell or whistle ? I donít plan to leave her alone so I think the medical alert stuff is probably not really what I need.

If you have been through this before & can think of other things that maybe Iím not thinking of it please feel free to share your thoughts.
Thanks so much you guys always give such good advice


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Ideas
Old 04-03-2019, 05:32 AM
  #2

A baby monitor so she can just ask for help. Or a portable doorbell( Push a button and you have the bell ring in your room. Youíll also know when she gets up to use the bathroom and when she returns. Lighting is important too. Maybe some nightlights that turn on with movement. Get rid of the dust ruffle on the bed. Think about where the walker will be next to the bed. The night stand may have to be wall mounted.
Be at peace knowing that you canít control everything. You can assist and make everything as easy and safe as possible.

Good luck. I am always amazed how quickly a UTI can change an elderly person. It does take awhile before the brain recovers too. Keep up your strength and your calmness. You can do this!
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Old 04-03-2019, 05:43 AM
  #3

The baby monitor is a great idea. Are you a heavy sleeper? My parents are going through something similar and recently my mom got up and turned her oxygen off because she thought it wasn't working. Ummm, you have it for a reason! She didn't wake my dad up and he didn't hear her. Almost another disaster. Maybe an alarm for her room so you are alerted if she leaves it?

Bathroom- bar on the shower and by the toilet to help her get up and down. You might need one of those toilet assists that either is a seat on top or a lifted seat that sits on top to help her get one and off? Seat to use in the shower.
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Mom
Old 04-03-2019, 05:47 AM
  #4

When my mom lived with us after both her strokes, we used something like this:

LINK

If she’s having trouble getting off the toilet, they make bars that can attach to the toilet itself.

LINK

We also installed a LogiTech camera that would alert us to movement (aka if she gets out of bed/leaves the room). It links to an app on our phones. It’s actually what we use now to keep tabs on our special needs son. We were blowing through video baby monitors.

LINK
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Elderly mom
Old 04-03-2019, 06:32 AM
  #5

Youíre getting good advice. Does she have no skid shoes that are easy to get on and off? Be wary of slippers that have a slick bottom.

Who is going to bath or shower her? Maybe a stool for the shower with a handheld hose. This way if you have to wash her, she can sit and you wonít get quite so wet.

What are your daily plans? Depending upon the degree of dementia, the minute to minute living can be trying. Can she go out with you? And walk to the corner? Television or puzzles maybe.

When my mom had early signs of dementia, she couldnít focus too long and she wanted to talk all the time.


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Old 04-03-2019, 06:43 AM
  #6

Please be aware that throw rugs are easy to trip on.

You are taking on a lot. Be sure to take time for yourself.
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Old 04-03-2019, 06:45 AM
  #7

A closed shoe that's easy on/off. Slip ons are easy, but can move and cause people to get unsteady

Remove area rugs...easy for walker to get tangled up and cause a fall

Rail to assist her getting up out of the bed
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Shower time
Old 04-03-2019, 07:35 AM
  #8

I would have her wear non slip shower shoes to help her keep from slipping while showering.

Maybe place the non skid strips in the bottom of your shower as well.

I am sorry she has been through all of this because of a screw lost inside her. That's terrible!

I hope she bounces back quickly.

Does she like to read? Maybe a page magnifier would help. Or maybe she would prefer to listen to her books on Audio.com or some other similar service.

If she can I would give her a task to accomplish each day to help her feel like she is contributing and not useless. Snapping the green beans, folding the washcloths and kitchen towels, dusting a small area... It can help their mental well being so much.
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Accomodations
Old 04-03-2019, 08:14 AM
  #9

Lots of good tips here.

When I had my hip replacement surgery, my husband purchased a toilet seat riser as you mentioned, but it had arms attached to it. He didn't purchase that kind on purpose - it was the only one on the shelf, but I am so glad he did. It sure helped with my balance to be able to grab onto something solid.

You may also see if the hospital has someone on staff who can advise you of accommodations at home. Or check with the local council on aging (or the like).

It sounds like you are soundly thinking this through and trying to cover all the bases.
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Old 04-03-2019, 08:24 AM
  #10

not sure how 'elderly' your mom is but I'm thinking she might enjoy watching some movies or TV shows she enjoyed. What about music? If she reads, I found the large print books from the library easier on my eyes. I'm able to reserve on line and just dash in and pick them up.

Is the weather nice where you are? Getting out and sitting in the daylight is good for the soul.

Light meals more often may appeal to her more. Does she have a favorite blanket, throw that would make her feel more at home?
We have a memory foam bath mat from Walmart that does not slip and absorbs the water when we step out of the shower. Gives me a firmer footing. We have several grab bars one type fits over the edge of the tub and the other suctions to the wall. We got them both at Home Depot.

Best wishes as you care for your mom.


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Old 04-03-2019, 08:52 AM
  #11

What about a wireless doorbell? They're pretty cheap. Plug it in your bedroom and give her the ringer.
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Old 04-03-2019, 12:15 PM
  #12

From your description, I would guess that sheís either already receiving physical therapy or will probably receive physical therapy through home health when sheís discharged. If so, ask the physical therapist to do a walk-through of the house and make suggestions. They cannot only help you know what you need to hear her say they can help you find it and let you know if insurance could potential he help pay for it. Will she be receiving speech therapy? In these situations, speech therapists often work on cognitive issues. If sheís working with the speech therapist, ask him or her to give you suggestions for support that would help her be more functional. Best wishes to you and your mom.
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Old 04-03-2019, 02:11 PM
  #13

To fit on a walker. My mom had one. We had to try a couple to find one that worked.
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Old 04-03-2019, 02:21 PM
  #14

I agree with Beach Glass - the hospital should have some who helps with obtaining needed aids at discharge. Also find out what items Medicare will pay for.
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Old 04-03-2019, 05:14 PM
  #15

Tennis balls to go on the bottom of her walker to help it slide ( you can buy them pre- cut at cvs for this purpose. When my mom had hip surgery my dad and I almost lost our fingers trying to cut them ourselves)

I agree w/ baby monitor

In my area thereís a company that will come out and do grab bars for you rbathroom etc. we found them to be a life saver.
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Old 04-03-2019, 06:20 PM
  #16

My mom broke her hip in February, was in rehab hospital for about a month, and then finally came home 1.5 weeks ago. I had to purchase the things she needed when she came home. Medicare paid for her wheelchair, but we had to buy everything else. I bought a toilet riser with attached arms and legs off of Amazon as well as a commode to keep in the bedroom in case she needs it in the middle of the night instead of trying to get all of the way to the bathroom.
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elderly mother
Old 04-03-2019, 07:09 PM
  #17

I just want to send you and your family good vibes! I know this isn't easy.
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