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What would you do??
Old 10-25-2016, 11:30 PM
 
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A teacher put a rude message/ joke directed at me in the EOY video presented at the celebration for students going to middle school. The teacher told me the video included a private joke between herself and kids in my home room class. This video was shown to students and parents of the 120 students on the last day of school. My home room kids were filmed saying"bye,Felicia", me being "Felicia". I knew something was up as the teacher who created the "year in review" video laughed and snickered during its showing. I didn't react because my focus was close out the year, begin summer, and enjoy my new retirement. A month passed and I finally researched the meaning " 'bye Felicia" (You're an annoying beetch and no one cares you're leaving). I was angry, hurt, even lost sleep. I want to tell my friends who remain on the campus-as well as admin-about her mean spirited "joke" but realize a lot of time passed.
What are your thoughts? Let it go and hope karma takes its course?? Sorry for the length but I'm interested in your opinion.


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Old 10-26-2016, 03:28 AM
 
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Normally, I would say let it go. But then I started to think about that teacher's example to her students. I personally would not want her to be a teacher of my own children or grandchildren. If she was bold enough to add that comment to a video, what kind of model is she in the classroom? What other "private jokes" does she have about other co-workers and even administration?

Why would she even allow that slang in her classroom, let alone encourage students to use it? Is the principal aware of its meaning?

I think I would schedule a meeting with a member of the administration who would listen to your concerns. I would approach it by telling he/she you are not there to whine about your feelings, but that you are concerned about the students who are in her class. In my opinion, she encourages bullying.
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This bites
Old 10-26-2016, 04:09 AM
 
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What you are feeling really sucks. I would email the administration as well as the person who did the video about how it makes you feel. They do need to know how this came across to you. If it was meant to be funny then they missed the mark. If it was meant to be mean they nailed it. If you do meet face to face don't give them a reason so they can be caught off guard with a contrived explanation. Good luck with this.

Focus on the future .
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Old 10-26-2016, 05:49 AM
 
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I would call her on it face to face with admin present. There is no other explanation for what she did, the meaning is clear - and that is just plain mean. Admin needs to know what kind of a person she is. I'd print a couple of things off that show the meaning of the term Bye Felicia, just to show what the meaning is, in case admin is not familiar with it and in case she tries to wiggle out of it.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. The silver lining is that you don't have to deal with that toxic person any more!!
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Am so sorry this happened to you
Old 10-26-2016, 06:10 AM
 
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take care of yourself. Time and distance will help. PM'd you and just hope that whatever happens, you can be at peace again. We all support you, let us know how things go.



Last edited by landsoftly; 10-26-2016 at 04:08 PM..
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Old 10-26-2016, 08:05 AM
 
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Oh my gosh. I just looked up that phrase and there it was on urban dictionary. How awful.

That was absolutely deliberate.

I'm not good with confrontation, so I would probably go to a trusted colleague who still works there and ask him/her for advice as to how to proceed.

Actually waiting until now to proceed could work in your favor. It shows you thought long and hard about it, deliberated and came up with a plan of action.

The previous posters gave you some excellent advice.

Let us know how you decide to proceed. I'll be thinking of you.

Last edited by Beach Glass; 10-26-2016 at 01:29 PM.. Reason: typo
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mean message
Old 10-26-2016, 08:15 AM
 
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If the kids knew what it meant, some many of the parents knew. It wasn't funny one bit and it sends a horrible message to the community about the school. Speaking from personal experience, it will probably taint your feelings about your retirement. The lady needs to apologize to you face to face in front of the administrator.

I would go in and have a meeting with the administrator. Go in just before her break so that the principal can call her down to the office. I hate, hate, hate underhanded bullies.
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Unfamiliar phrase
Old 10-26-2016, 09:43 AM
 
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...to me! Just looked it up and you are correct. That woman needs to grow up. Also, I am happy my name is not Felicia
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Just HORRIBLE!
Old 10-26-2016, 11:55 AM
 
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Reading your post made me so angry. GooseCreeker, you so did not deserve this. I totally understand your feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. I would lose sleep over it too! I had never ever heard of that expression and it is just horrid! If it were me I would probably TRY to let it go..... because I hate confrontation and I'm too passive aggressive to storm the school. It's bitter water under the bridge. You have a new, wonderful world to explore: Retirement!! Poor old What's Her Name is back in the classroom messing up her students' minds and is probably miserable. ON the other hand... just because she has demonstrated such poor judgement as an educator I hope you will be braver than I would be. The suggestions of our friends above are all very good and would definitely be the right thing to do. Old What's Her Name needs to be held accountable for this despicable thing she has done!!! I am so upset over this because it is so wrong wrong WRONG! Please take care and keep us posted!
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Old 10-26-2016, 01:33 PM
 
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So sorry that the beginning of your retirement has been tainted by this outrageous video. If you want to follow up on this, consider that the words in the video may be a defamation of your character. It also reflects poorly on the school. Defamation is an area of law that provides a civil remedy when someone's words end up causing harm to your reputation or livelihood. Whether this is libel or slander, I am not sure since I am not a lawyer. You may want to contact a lawyer or your teacher union representative to help you proceed before formally contacting the school administration.


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Update
Old 10-26-2016, 04:56 PM
 
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Thank you, kind friends. Due to all the encouragement, I grew a spine and met w admin. Who else could do that for me, right? I believe the wheels are turning. My shoulders feel lighter and I feel supported by admin. Admin wasn't familiar w phrase either, but is now.
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Old 10-26-2016, 05:44 PM
 
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Totally agree with PPs. I personally would want to talk to your old administrator and would NOT want to deal with this nutcase directly. What a hateful, horrible, unprofessional thing to do and involve students in. Your administrator deserves to know and you want to be heard. Whether any action results, YOU will have done the right thing.

Ugh. I'm so sorry. I imagine how awful you must feel.
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Old 10-27-2016, 06:06 AM
 
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Glad you met with your former P. I saw your update on the vent too. Glad your reporting was well received!

Welcome to retirement!
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Hope you feel just as
Old 10-27-2016, 06:38 AM
 
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light and relieved today as you did yesterday. Welcome to our board!

Last edited by landsoftly; 10-27-2016 at 06:53 AM..
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Old 10-27-2016, 12:54 PM
 
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What she did was unprofessional and that is a term that needs to be used on her so that she loses some sleep over it herself. I would certainly make the point that some of the parents would know the term and that it puts the school in a bad light. What an immature piece of work. If you can cope with it maybe you could ask for a face to face apology from her (making it clear that otherwise the matter is going to go above the school and they wont want to risk that) and take someone with you to make it worse for her. I am sorry that happened to you but I would certainly try and make her regret it. She is a bully and needs taken down a peg or 2.
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Good move
Old 10-28-2016, 08:22 AM
 
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I just logged on after a long time... Glad you marched in there! Holy smoke, that's horrendous! Teaching kids to be snarky, bullies is not helpful! Plus how glaringly unprofessional. It's totally unacceptable and I'm glad you pointed out the injustice. Geez some people just should not have the privilege of being a teacher and role model.
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Old 10-28-2016, 04:32 PM
 
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Mean is just mean. Unprofessional doesn't even come close. I am so sorry. We all have your back!

My sp Ed director used to send me weight loss advertising via email..mild compared to other things she did. I don't know why people are mean must not have been raised right.
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Bully
Old 10-30-2016, 01:03 PM
 
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Only weak, insecure people are mean. Strong people don't have to be. I wonder how many of the kids who participated knew it was mean and were bullied into going along for fear of being ridiculed. Wrong isn't funny. Wrong is just wrong. You go girl....Go get her...
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This Was Workplace Harrassment
Old 11-02-2016, 07:09 PM
 
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You put the district on notice that this little joke was slander, humiliating and uncalled for harrassment by another employee. The district will have to let this teacher know in writing that her behavior is frankly illegal in the workplace...yes a school is a workplace...you should expect this district to follow up in writing to YOU in order to prevent a lawsuit by YOU. Good Luck and happy retirement...don't hesitate to follow up and also let it be widely known among the staff that you were "shocked" by this prank and that you did not appreciate the video or the harassment. An employment attorney would have a field day with this....Wow what a send off!
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Inspired by responses
Old 11-03-2016, 08:40 PM
 
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Thanks for your advice and encouragement. I think I can move on, the phrase pops up and I get angry all over again. Some suggest this was "just a joke" --I struggle to find the humor. Thanks again, Learnforever.
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