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CUTiger
 
 
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Suffering Relationship
Old 10-02-2006, 09:16 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

I'm a grad student in a School Counseling program and this
is my last year. I have been in grad school for 3 years
now, and I really feel as if the entire experience has
drained all of the energy out of my relationship. I never
see my girlfriend anymore and our relationship has kind of
been on autopilot for the past year. I feel like I can
see the seven disconnecting habits slowly creeping in, and
things will only get worse (or stay on autopilot) if I
pursue my dreams of a PhD.

How have you all been able to sustain a relationship while
pursuing a another degree? Were you married before you
started the program?

Sorry if this seems like an inconvenience....

Thanks


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My Opinion
Old 10-03-2006, 02:04 PM
 
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I feel that stress can actually be beneficial to finding if you are with the right person. If you two are able to work through the stress, and support eachother you are building a very strong relationship together.

As for your relationship I would try to set up a day or a time where you can be togther, and do something and just appreciate being together.

I am not in a doctoral program, but while I was in college I was doing my student teaching all day, then working until 6 -6:30 and I also worked a weekend job as a waitress. I lived with my bf so it made it easier to see eachother, but he just knew it was a stressful time and I needed extra support.

If it's worth the effort make it, and spend at least one day/night a week doing something special. Let her know that you are happy that she supports you with all the stress you are dealing with.

Hope this helps
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Relationships/Education Pursuit
Old 10-03-2006, 02:17 PM
 
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My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have a 3 year old daughter. It has been tough to balance family life with school, but it makes it worthwhile to know that I am doing this for the good of not only myself, but my family. My husband is my biggest supporter, and even though we do have disagreements, they are small in comparison to our overall goal. I think you have to make time for your partner, no matter how busy you are with school. I know it is hard, but it helps you reconnect and remember why you are together in the first place. I wish you and your girlfriend all the best! Congrats on reaching the end of your counseling program!! That is a wonderful accomplishment!
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relationships
Old 10-03-2006, 07:29 PM
 
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Doesn't matter what you are doing --- school, work etc., relationships take time and effort. Things will not always be as exciting as they were when you first became involved with each other. There is a certain amount of ease and trust that builds up over the course of a relationship. Maybe some of that is autopilot, maybe not. But you need to make time for those things in your life that you cherish and value.


Just curious --- have you been a fulltime grad student or are you a teacher as well as a parttime student? If you have been a full time student, are you now looking for employment? Maybe you have some big life-type decsions in your near future and the stress of those decisions may be influencing your energy levels for other things. Maybe you need a break before you start your PhD, so you can re-charge your batteries.
)
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:29 AM
 
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I've been a full time grad student since August 2004. I switched from engineering to education, which made both of us feel a lot better, but now I'm considering continuing my education. Thinking about a PhD is definitely a factor but not much (until I get into the program). I'm starting to feel like I don't know what the problem is anymore, but we both talked about it and the only thing we concluded is that we know that we can't change our schedules. Things will simply have to wait until May


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