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Coworkers' kids
Old 04-14-2019, 04:37 AM
 
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I saw something in the "Lazy is Not the Same as Bored" thread that made me think of thiis: when I think of the most enabling, aggressive parents I've dealt with, almost all of them have been teachers. You would think they'd get it and know where you're coming from, so it's always a little surprising when they're the least reasonable. Has this been your experience?


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Teachers' Kids
Old 04-14-2019, 05:14 AM
 
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Teachers' kids should not attend the same school where their parents teach. It can lead to awkward situations.

Most teacher parents were fine, but I was never surprised when a teacher put on the parent hat and acted just as entitled and unreasonable as other parents.

Last edited by travelingfar; 04-14-2019 at 09:06 AM..
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:33 AM
 
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I have had at least one teacher's kid the last 3 or 4 years. They have all been great to deal with, except the one. The one that constantly went to the P instead of talking to me. The one that parent's thought was the bees knees, and thought she did no wrong. The one who reset her dd's testing platform and had her dd redo the test AT HOME so she wasn't stressed taking it. Yeah, that one.

She made a bad name for the rest and they have been terrific.
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Coworkers kids
Old 04-14-2019, 06:27 AM
 
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Iím sorry you, and others, have had that experience.

I have taught several and it always went well.
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Old 04-14-2019, 06:56 AM
 
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Iíve taught many teacher and teacher co-worker kids. Never had a problem with the parents. Also taught administrator and county office kids. Always supportive. Sorry your experience has been different.


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Old 04-14-2019, 06:57 AM
 
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I have had many coworkers' kids in my class and they had my kids. It has never ever been an issue in any way. My P is proud that all staff members with kids either moved into our district or got a transfer to our school. Literally, every single staff member's kids attended our school. Heck, my P changed schools to become the P at our school when his oldest kid started K.

My P thinks--and I agree with him--it leads to a higher level of engagement, ownership from the staff. We are more invested in making the school great because our kids attend it. Teachers do a lot for their students, but parents do more!
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Old 04-14-2019, 07:04 AM
 
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I've had teachers' kids and honestly I felt like those parents were tougher on their kids. Occasionally I didn't share when the teacher would ask about their child because I knew what the teacher would do to their kid.

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Old 04-14-2019, 07:09 AM
 
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The one thing I really don't agree with is teachers having their own kids or grandkids in their class. I do have an issue with that.

One teacher at my school had both her kids in her class and one aide had her grandkids. When my son was starting K, I was asked if I was taking him and I said, "Heck no! I've had 5 years to screw him up--it's someone else's turn!"
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Old 04-14-2019, 08:22 AM
 
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Why would your principal allow a parent to teach their own kids? That is taking things too far IMHO.
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Where the sun don't shine
Old 04-14-2019, 08:26 AM
 
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I'll get on my soapbox again. Teachers' kids should not attend the same school where their parents teach. It can lead to awkward situations.
I find myself offended by this statement. You state "Teachers' kids should not attend the same school where their parents teach" in terms as if it should be policy. And you seem to be saying you've said this before. Why would you make such an absolute statement saying it should just not happen when by your own admission, "most teacher parents were fine."

The reason I am offended is because you are commenting on my situation. Both my daughters have attended the elementary school where I teach. The older one has gone off to high school, but the younger daughter still attends where I teach. I live in a small town. The elementary school where I work is the only elementary school in town. Are you suggesting that I should have put my daughters on a bus for more than an hour each day so that they could attended a different school in another town? Are you suggesting that I should have transferred out of a school where I am happy so I could go work in a school out of town so that I would not be as available to my family for after school activities, appointments, etc? My younger daughter has special needs. Due to these needs, there have been medical and emotional incidents at school where the seriousness of the incidents were mitigated because her dad was just down the hall. But you would not have this.

Are some teacher-parents difficult to deal with? Yes, they can be. Thankfully, even though I have taught several colleague's children, I have not had a negative experience. But if a teacher-parent is difficult to deal with, the issue is singularly with that parent. Most people on this thread that have commented after you have spoken positively about teaching the children of their colleagues, and of having their colleagues teaching their children.

But you would, seemingly, ban a teacher and their child being in the same school. So, in my opinion, you can take your ban, and your soapbox and gavel, and.......


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Old 04-14-2019, 08:26 AM
 
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Why would your principal allow a parent to teach their own kids? That is taking things too far IMHO.
Basically, he trusts his teachers to do what is best for the kids. I don't think it is what's best, but not my call.
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Why not?
Old 04-14-2019, 08:28 AM
 
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While it is not preferred, this happens all the time in my school, and it is really a non-event. I am the only one who teaches my subject, so there was no alternative. I teach every single student at my grade level. I had my daughter as a student, and I just made sure that I didn't single her out in any way.
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Old 04-14-2019, 08:29 AM
 
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I am the only one who teaches my subject, so there was no alternative. I teach every single student at my grade level.
That's a whole different story. I object to it when there are alternatives. And even then, I really don't care.
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We were lucky
Old 04-14-2019, 08:42 AM
 
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one of the teachers on our team of 5 is known far and wide to do whatever the parents want and to give great compliments no matter how disruptive the student can be. All the teacher parents who want control request and get her. Win-win.

As far as teaching your own child. Not everyone has the same opportunity or control. I taught preschool and then wanted to return to public school. I interviewed in several districts. The district where I lived offered me a position before the others. I took it. A bird in the hand. My children were not in my school, but they were in the same district.
What would a parent do? Not take a job they needed? Put their kids in a private school? Plus, some districts are so small they only have one teacher per grade level.
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:04 AM
 
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It is always possible to find another school for your kids to attend or to accept a job at a different school.

I'm the only one here with this opinion, but I taught for 25 years and saw various inappropriate incidents with teachers' kids.

In one instance, a teacher's second grader was sitting in a classroom where our second grade team was meeting. We were discussing which students should be identified as gifted and talented, and the teacher's daughter was talked about. I suggested that the teacher's child leave before our discussion, but her mother got offended and did nothing.

A paraprofessional's two kids attended our school. She visited their teachers every day after school to discuss their progress and harassed one teacher about her behavior management. The teachers should have created boundaries but didn't do so. If she hadn't worked there it wouldn't have been a problem.
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:08 AM
 
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The only thing I disagree with in your post is this:

Quote:
It is always possible to find another school for your kids to attend or to accept a job at a different school.
There are threads every single day about how hard it is to find a position. And why would I put my kids at a different school with a different schedule? Logistically, that would be an unnecessary PITA. My kids went to work with me, we came home together, had the same vacations, no need for before or after school care. It just made sense.

Quote:
In one instance, a teacher's second grader was sitting in a classroom where our second grade team was meeting. We were discussing which students should be identified as gifted and talented, and the teacher's daughter was talked about. I suggested that the teacher's child leave before our discussion, but her mother got offended and did nothing.
That is HIGHLY inappropriate.
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:14 AM
 
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I understand that it is more convenient schedule wise to have your kids at school. You aren't a parent who would harass teachers or make life hard for anyone at school.

However, other parents are higher maintenance, and boundaries are crossed when teachers' kids attend their school. I only gave two examples in my earlier post, but I saw things happen time and time again over the course of my 25 years.

Often a happy family situation is not developed at a school because teachers' kids are there. In fact, often it ends up being the opposite.
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:15 AM
 
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I've never been fond of teacher's kids being at our school either. I too have seen many inappropriate situations. My parents were both teachers and purposefully did not send me to their schools so that I could be independent. To this day, I am grateful for that. When they bought a house, they purposefully did not look in my dad's district for this reason. My mom taught at a private school and chose to send me to the local public school.
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:21 AM
 
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I understand that it is more convenient schedule wise to have your kids at school. You aren't a parent who would harass teachers or make life hard for anyone at school.
This is a true story! Two different teachers had no idea I was my kids' mom. They have a different last name. One chewed me out because she saw me kiss my daughter on the forehead. I was all, "um...that's my kid?" and she had no clue.
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Co workers child
Old 04-14-2019, 09:26 AM
 
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I did teach a co-workers child years ago. He was a real piece of work and thought he could get away with anything. I decided to be totally honest with his mom and she thanked me! She knew the previous teachers were afraid to say the truth about her child. She dealt with it, and he soon became one of my favorites. Honesty is the best policy!
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Welp..
Old 04-14-2019, 09:35 AM
 
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My district will not let you be in the same school as your children. Period. I know it is true for elementary school and middle school. Don't know how it works for high school, but we have more than one high school to choose from.

If you have coworker who is sane, and the kids are noneventful, I guess it works out when they are in the same school. I had kids who where closer to squirrel monkeys on Red Bull and the coworkers (parents) were a first order loon. I was never so happy to teach a special because I could sanitize the interactions for my protection. How's Biff? Oh he's wonderful. How's Buffy? A delight. Anything else would have unleashed the Kraken. I was much more reserved in what I would say and do, because honesty gave scorched Earth as a response.

Hell, I don't even like working with kids/relatives of coworkers, especially if the managing boss is crap. That happened a lot at the hospital. Tigger is the kid of an higher up, who needs a summer job to pad medical school applications. Tigger does NOT want to be there, and is lazy AF. We had a better chance of being shot to Mars than getting Tigger to a) actually do work or b) whine enough so he could get transfer as someone else's problem.

I wouldn't want to be at the same school as my kid, because I figure everyone is tempering their interactions about said kid in response to having me around 8 hours a day. Very few people are ballsy enough to say, "Your kid is a hot trash stirred with a stick, and you really need do do something." (Or whatever the polite version of that statement is). Most people I have found lob softballs, and nibble around the edges. Especially when your paycheck is hanging in the balance of another person's opinion of your skills. Kraken coworkers were often BFFs of Principal Skittles. Private school with no union. #GoodTimes

ETA: Juliet4, you were fortunate that mom took it to heart and things changed. Where I worked, the coworker parent would whine to the higher ups how the teacher wasn't letting their kid be great. I saw several teachers get broomed because of it, which is why I kept my head down low. Most of issues were all behavioral.
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The Math
Old 04-14-2019, 10:13 AM
 
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It is always possible to find another school for your kids to attend or to accept a job at a different school.
Wow, so are you suggesting that my kids or I should be at another school in another town a good distance away. All to solve a problem that doesn't exist. And to create problems that otherwise wouldn't need to exist. It makes zero sense.

Quote:
I understand that it is more convenient schedule wise to have your kids at school. You aren't a parent who would harass teachers or make life hard for anyone at school.
MOST parents aren't a parent who would harass teachers or make life hard for anyone at school. But you would create a policy that would penalize many to solve a problem of a few. The math doesn't add up.
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Old 04-14-2019, 10:59 AM
 
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Iíve had teacherís kids before, and all has been well. I try to spoil my kidís teachers because I know how thankless this job can be!

There was an incident this year with another teacherís kid, and his mom (teacher) and my kid that was a little hairy, and I had to separate myself from momma bear mode.

It would be a logistical nightmare in my situation for my son to be at a different school. Iíd have to drop him off at his school 30 minutes before the bells rings so that I could make it to my school on time. Then Iíd have to figure out pick up. I donít trust a lot of people with my kid, so getting someone to pick him up from school is not happening.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:07 AM
 
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It is always possible to find another school for your kids to attend or to accept a job at a different school.
Clearly you don't live in my area. When I was hired, there weren't many jobs out there, so I was glad to get one. That has obviously changed now as we face a teacher shortage in my state. For my children to attend a different school, I would have had to school choice them into another district. Provided they were accepted, I would then have had to transport them both to and from school every day. Why would I do that when they were happy at the schools that they were at??
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:09 AM
 
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I try to spoil my kidís teachers because I know how thankless this job can be!
And you just illustrated why many have an issue with teachers' kids attending the same school. Giving preferential treatment is not cool! And..um..the kid doesn't have a thankless job.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:12 AM
 
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And you just illustrated why many have an issue with teachers' kids attending the same school. Giving preferential treatment is not cool! And..um..the kid doesn't have a than
I don’t get, nor would I ever expect, my son to get preferential treatment. Sorry, but I don’t see how bringing my kid’s teacher a donut on Friday or a little pick me up note during testing is a horrible thing.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:14 AM
 
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My district will not let you be in the same school as your children. Period. I know it is true for elementary school and middle school. Don't know how it works for high school, but we have more than one high school to choose from.
This just doesn't work in small districts. We only have three schools, so somewhere along the line, you are going to see your own kid. I have 4-5 teachers' kids this year, and even having them just isn't an issue.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:22 AM
 
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I donít get, nor would I ever expect, my son to get preferential treatment. Sorry, but I donít see how bringing my kidís teacher a donut on Friday or a little pick me up note during testing is a horrible thing.
Hahaha I need more coffee. I thought you meant you spoil coworkers' kids in your class! I r dum. Sorry about that!

But, you can "spoil" your kids' teachers regardless of where they work!
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:29 AM
 
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Hahaha I need more coffee. I thought you meant you spoil coworkers' kids in your class! I r dum. Sorry about that!

But, you can "spoil" your kids' teachers regardless of where they work!
I was like what?!?!?!?!?!
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Old 04-14-2019, 12:02 PM
 
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I've never had that experience, and I have taught many fellow coworker's kids. Hard not to in some rural areas with one class per grade! The enabling, aggressive parents I have dealt with have never been children of teachers.

I also don't think it's always reasonable for children to never attend the same school as parents, for many reasons. You can't always get a job wherever you want, or get your child into any school you want. I certainly think in some cases that it's not the best situation to have child and parent at the same school, but I don't think it's a bad thing in the majority of my experiences.
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Old 04-14-2019, 12:51 PM
 
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I have taught many kids of teachers. It has always been a great experience. I've taught the children of teachers from other schools as well as the children of teachers at my own school.

I never felt that any line was crossed. I have been very fortunate to work with true professionals.

My own son attended preschool at my school but I chose to send him to our home school (and then a lottery school) after that. No thank you to parenting before and after school while I'm at work.
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Old 04-14-2019, 01:59 PM
 
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Yes. I had so many teacher's kids in my classroom. Every single one of them wanted their kid to have an A and also used their power to influence the P against me. Even the secretary wanted especial treatment. She let me know about it too. Her daughter did jack sh!t in class, yet secretary had it out for me. She wanted a scholarship but daughter was lazy. She wasn't even making a 20 in class. The p changed her grade.

I had another in class. He was smart. But, he was breaking the rules. Brought it to mom, my colleague, quietly. She said, "that's funny bc he is doing just fine in other classes. I came to find out she went to the P behind my back scared sh!flesh about him not getting a perfect A in my class. He had a 98 in class. He did the commencement speech. The p changed his final grade. He didn'd have the highest score. He was smart but not the brightest.
Another colleague went behind my back complaining that I wrote his daughter up. Well when I went to him as a courtesy first. He didn't want to handle the situation and referred me to his ex wife. I look up her credentials and he is the first contact in the list not mom. Also apparently, a few years back he had an affair with one of the teachers. They got a divorce and married the teacher. They both teach at the same school and kept different last names. Don't care they had an affair but imagine how that affect your profession. When you piss one you piss the other too. Even worse, they had extended family in the school as well.
I had another teacher stay outside the classroom listening and recording my conversation with her son. I caught her red handed. This one couldn't even write his name on the paper. Also I had asked him many times to complete the work. The guy waited a day before the end of the term. Yet mom wants kiddie to make an A.
Did I tell you the art teacher. The art teacher came into my room and ask me to let her know if Snowflake wasn't making an 85. He wants to become an architect. He was one of the laziest students I ever had. She was not even an official contact for the student. He was passing the class after all of my effort. This was not enough for her. She started attacking my teaching and my curriculum. When i think back, the snowflake didn't even make the effort for an f. I was so fn intimidated.
I had huge classes every day. I had more than 25 sped kids. Did I tell you the secretary call the parents and pinned them against me. She would tell them to call the p and complaint. I caught her doing this to another teacher as well.
Apologies in advance, I am typing from cell.
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Old 04-14-2019, 02:50 PM
 
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Iíve had colleaguesí kids in my class many times. Sometimes itís fine, and sometimes not so much. Itís a very tricky thing to navigate. However, I can understand why parents want their kids at the same school, so I think it just comes with the territory.
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Old 04-14-2019, 03:46 PM
 
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We are discussing this in my family right now. My grandson starts school next year, and his zoned school is the one I teach at. We are a very small school (100 children in 4 classes) and it would be inevitable that, at some point, he'd be in my class. Even if we shuffled around so I was never his teacher, it's still pretty hard to be anonymous in that small a school. I'm not keen on that, and neither is my son and his wife.

However, if they send him to another school, they lose the community feel that they moved to this village for (before I was appointed to the school), his friends won't be where he lives, transport to and from school becomes a production instead of a five minute walk, and so on.

It's a conundrum.
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Old 04-14-2019, 04:02 PM
 
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I have had some trouble with teacher parents, but none of them were teachers at the school, all the ones I had trouble with were middles school and high school teachers-and they were crazy!

I had a teacher from another district subtly imply that I was racist this year because his child got benched for injuring other students. His reasoning was," I would never do that as I understand that it could be seen as racial inequity so I am shocked you would do it". Well, I am not you, and I know that there was nothing racial to it. Just because you are a teacher and you wouldn't do it doesn't mean that I am a bad teacher for doing it.

I also had a colleagues kid last year. I remember thinking, " well he is a jerk and doesn't treat his kids teacher the way he expects to be treated. Nothing major, he just seemed like a horses a** in general. Well he went above and beyond this year for his kids teacher and used his log in for the student information system to view the teachers private comments on her online grade book that she doesn't publish and other info that she didnt share. The district office gave him a formal reprimand for it because he had clearly stepped over the line. Some parents cant switch between parent and worker roles.

I personally work hard not to be "that crazy mom", almost to the point that I think I am have not been hard enough and I have let things go that in retrospect I shouldn't have. I have now decided that I am going to defer to an advocate from now on since I struggle with wanting to not be a "lawnmower mom" so much from being on the receiving end of it that I think I end up being a push over and dont follow my own advice that I give parents.

Last edited by Kinderkr4zy; 04-14-2019 at 04:33 PM..
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:05 PM
 
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We have 6 teacher & staff kids in kindergarten right now. Every class has at least one. It hasn't been a problem at all. We always have about 5-10 teacher & staff kids in the school on any given year. Very very rarely has it been an issue. And the biggest issues have been with the kids of the principal and ap.


We also have a few teachers that have chosen to have their own child in their class. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. And there are alternatives. And it has been great for everyone.


I'm very glad we don't have any blanket policies. I think it always depends on the child and the teacher or staff member. My co-teacher thought about putting her daughter in our class this year. I said no way. It would not have been good for her or her daughter. But for her next one coming up it would be great, and we may just do it.
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Old 04-15-2019, 06:55 PM
 
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I've had teacher's kids. It's been mixed. Some fine. Some not so fine.

Any problems have been with the parent wanting to give their kid special privileges. We had one who got the principal to order special privileges for her kid. And when the other kids commented about the inequality, parent couldn't understand why they were complaining.

Some kids may like going to the same school their parent works, but mine would not have bee happy. They didn't even like it when I knew their teacher outside of class.
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:33 AM
 
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Quote:
It is always possible to find another school for your kids to attend or to accept a job at a different school.
It's really not that simple if you live in a rural area. I taught for years in a school that was so small that many teachers had their own kids in class. It was unavoidable: there was one classroom for each grade (combined classes, even, from time to time) and at the secondary level, one teacher in every subject area. There came a time when we could open-enroll our kids to a different district but there was still the issue of getting them there. That's a pretty big issue when the nearest district is a 20 minute drive and winters are tough.

I'm a specialist so I was looking at having my child in my class all the way through school. When I decided to buy a house, I moved to a different community. There were a variety of reasons, not just the school issue. But guess what? When you teach in a small rural school in a state that funds education on a per-pupil basis, people get MAD at you when you move your child to a different school. And by "people" I mean coworkers and administrators as well as community members.
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How it was handled at my school
Old 04-16-2019, 03:46 PM
 
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When the administrators' children and various coworkers' children, nieces, nephews, grandkids, etc. attended the school, the adults generally did a very good job of putting on their "parent hat" and their "teacher hat", alternating them as necessary.

Yes, there were occasional issues, especially in regard to holding children back, but it didn't happen often. You just knew that if you had a child in the class that had that status you had to be careful about what you said and to whom. It would be the same if you had one of your friends' children, or someone from your religious congregation.

We don't exist in a vacuum.
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