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Jasper904 Jasper904 is offline
 
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Threatened By Another Teacher. Should I Report This?
Old 10-16-2020, 12:15 PM
 
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I have been working on a new team for a few months. One of the teachers (soon to be my co-teacher) has been extremely rude and verbally beligerant. Out of the kindnest of my heart, I still offered to help her set up her room due to a very last minute change. She became argumentative about something as silly as desks, and instead of letting it go, she continued telling me what to do. I finally said "I'm not moving desks to my room when I already have 22. It doesn't make any sense." I left.

She comes to my room a short while later saying "I'm coming to you as a woman. You've raised your voice at me twice and you don't know how I am. I don't want to risk going to jail or messing up my family so I would appreciate if you don't talk to me like that". I immediately took a mental note that this person is openly admitting that they would hit me if they had the chance over something MININSCULE. This is not professional in the least bit. I'm not afraid of her actually hitting me, but I don't appreciate the threat. I held off on saying anything to my principal, but I don't like this situation at all. What should I do?


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Old 10-16-2020, 12:20 PM
 
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Document the conversation in detail while itís still fresh and report it. If your principal wonít take it seriously, go higher.
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Old 10-16-2020, 12:59 PM
 
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I think that right now all of us are experiencing stressful situations. It sounds like you guys are juggling people and things around and that is stressful in normal situations-these situations may ramp things up even more.

Do you know how this person is usually to work with? I think that if I knew this person and they weren't typically like this, I would let it go and see what happens next. Maybe when things calm down, revisit and apologize that things ended the way they did (give grace).

If I didn't know them, or they were known to be volatile then I might(would) take it to admin for advice and just to give them a heads up. Not to tattle but to let them know what happened.

I wouldn't appreciate being talked to that way either. I would have to consider whether I raised my voice at them in my reaction. If I did, then I am partially at fault. I don't remember ever having to raise my voice at a coworker.
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Ugh
Old 10-16-2020, 01:58 PM
 
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I would document what she said to you. If she says anything threatening in the future document that too. Take a giant step back from her. She sounds like trouble. If she continues to harass you, bring your documentation with you to a meeting with the principal.

I'm sorry you're dealing with such a difficult person.

Last edited by travelingfar; 10-17-2020 at 03:58 AM..
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Old 10-16-2020, 02:57 PM
 
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You've been given some good advice. Going to the principal for advice is a great way to introduce the topic without sounding like you're "tattling".Your P does need to know about the conversation.

I might suggest that you not discuss this with other staff members. It wouldn't be good to have the staff discussing this event. Your difficult coworker could make things really messy if she heard that you've been talking about her. Take the high road.

These are strange times and everyone is on edge.


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Old 10-16-2020, 03:55 PM
 
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I donít think these ďstrange timesĒ excuses, what I would perceive, as a threat. I would email her (so you have it in writing) before going to the P and explain that the conversation left you uncomfortable and you were only trying to help. See how she responds and go from there. If she backs down, apologizes, whatever, then Iíd document everything and move on.

If she doesnít respond, gets more belligerent, etc, then Iíd document and go to the P WITH union representation if youíre in a union state. I know the union doesnít represent member v member issues, but it would be good to have the support and an extra pair of ears.
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Please document
Old 10-16-2020, 04:34 PM
 
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Coming from experience.....a teacher on my team for several years was verbally abusive to me and others. She threatened to kill me. She would set off for no reason and it slowly got worse. She did many other things I donít want to mention.
She does not work at my school anymore. Steps were taken. It was the documentation that helped.
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Unacceptable Behavior * CYA *
Old 10-16-2020, 10:30 PM
 
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I am sorry you had this interaction with a colleague. I would be concerned that she threatened you over such a small matter. I know you are an adult, but I would be worried about how she interacted with her students. I can't imagine how she treats her students if she found a problem with your help. I think for my own peace of mind I would need to speak with the P and let him know what went on. I agree with documenting it encase there were any problems in the future.
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Document
Old 10-17-2020, 05:01 AM
 
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Definitely document. I also would be less likely to dismiss her behavior as stressed induced due to circumstances because she actively sought you out. She didnít say that in the moment (even then that would not be excusable in my opinion). If you have a union I would talk to your union rep. I agree with others not to tell other coworkers. I have a good relationship with my p so I would feel comfortable talking to him but other Aps I wouldnít

Good luck. That is not a working environment anyone should be in
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Think this through
Old 10-17-2020, 05:01 AM
 
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She didn't really threaten you. Not one word suggests that she was going to do something to you. She didn't say she would hit you, etc. Take the emotion out and really look at the words and how an outsider would see them. She merely stated that she didn't want to go to jail or risk messing up her family. Look at how she will defend these statements if confronted by the principal. Is it possible that she will say she felt threatened by YOU and didn't want to get drawn into something that would end badly for both of you. Keep in mind, I'm not saying that you threatened her or that this is your fault or that you didn't feel threatened, but back up and think about the conversation that actually happened, not the one where you filled in the blanks and came to your own conclusions.


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Let it go...
Old 10-17-2020, 05:16 AM
 
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I'm sorry that happened to you.

I honestly think I'd let it go, especially since you said you weren't afraid.

To be honest, as pissed off as I'd be that she she said that, I think I'd actually be laughing more than anything. Who says that?
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Thank you for the advice
Old 10-17-2020, 05:44 AM
 
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Thank you all for the advice. I have documented this interaction and I have been advised to limit my conversation and interaction with her. Unfortunately, she is my co-teacher, so we will have to interact on a daily basis. I have decided not to mention this to the P, because unfortunately, he does not address these kinds of matters. Lots of things are swept under the rug here. I plan to make this my final year at this school and transfer. I hate working in an environment where there is tension.

Some information that I omitted from the original post was that this coworker is also part of the reason a first year teacher quit a few months ago. She would talk down to her and never offer assistance when the teacher had questions. This coworker also recieved 3 complaints in THE SAME DAY from 3 separate parents about the way she was talking to their children online.

I am not a confrontational person. I do admit that I shouldn't have raised my voice, but I was so tired of being badgered when I was trying to do a good deed for someone that wasn't even nice to me!
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Update
Old 10-17-2020, 08:30 AM
 
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Thank you for the update. I am glad you documented it but sorry you have to work with her on a daily basis. Keep interactions as minimal as possible
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She will be her own downfall.
Old 10-18-2020, 04:22 AM
 
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Probably sooner than later. Keep documentation. It sounds like your principal wonít care about teacher problems, but he will care when more and more parents complain. Itís only a matter of time. In the meantime limit your time with her as much as possible.
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Update
Old 10-18-2020, 05:40 AM
 
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Thanks for the update. You are handling things well. I agree that the principal will deal with this teacher when parents continually complain.
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Old 10-18-2020, 06:24 AM
 
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Quote:
This coworker also recieved 3 complaints in THE SAME DAY from 3 separate parents about the way she was talking to their children online.
This is what I was wondering about. If she has such a short fuse that she needs to worry about going to jail or messing up her family, how on earth is she not in hot water all the time for popping her top at students? In this day and age, when administrators rarely are willing to stand up for teachers, even in situations where the teacher is not in the wrong, how does she still have a job?
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Old 10-18-2020, 07:37 PM
 
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She sounds like a sociopath. Good idea documenting her comments. That is not normal or appropriate. If I were principal I'd give her a verbal warning and/or write her up.
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