[Angelo]

What is it with people who crave drama and are never satisfied until they’ve caused a loud, embarrassing scene to make a point?

I see this in stores. Customer doesn’t get what they want. E.g. store says all sales final, no refunds. Customer demands a refund. Customer service calmly says no and explains why. Customer gets louder and louder and more and more heated. Manager is summoned. Manager explains calmly. Customer gets even louder and eventually screams, “I’m never shopping here again, and I’m gonna tell all my friends about this place!” Turns to other customers and shouts, “Don’t shop here! I’m telling you…they’re a bunch of crooks!” Maybe knocks something off the shelf in a fit of anger and stops out ranting and raving.

Why? Surely, life is too short for such nonsense. Had a bad experience? Fine. Vote with your dollars, muster some dignity, and take your business elsewhere. The world doesn’t need to know all about how upset you are. I get that sometimes, in the moment, the fight-flight reflex can be activated, and adrenaline can make people behave in strange ways. But that’s in the heat of the moment.

Same thing with schools and parents. What is with parents for whom withdrawing / transferring has to mean causing a big scene? Our school wasn’t a good fit? It happens. No hard feelings. Complete the transfer request, and we’ll wish you well. But scheduling a meeting with a school administrator for the express purpose of ranting and raving loudly about how horrible all your kid’s teachers were this year all the ways the school has failed your kid? Spare me. You’re unhappy because you came in with assumptions about your kid’s abilities and aptitude that weren’t borne out by their results (or past performance). You called and emailed with complaints and demand after unreasonable demand (change their Math teacher, furnish a one-on-one tutor, provide a month of work remotely so we can head down to Grandma’s condo in Florida, and on and on).

Then mom tells me I’m being “passive aggressive” when I politely and calmly respond to her ranting and raving and say, “Let us know how we can assist with the transition. We wish your son well.” She screams, “You sit there all smug and calm like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth! Do you realize that in this whole conversation you haven’t offered one iota of an apology for the YEAR OF HELL your school has put my son through?” I responded, “While I don’t accept the premise of the question, I am sorry our school wasn’t a good fit for your son.” She explodes at this point and screams, “OH MY G-D! YOU PEOPLE! A good fit? I wouldn’t send an ill-tempered dog to this school let alone a child!” I said, “You’re entitled to your viewpoint. I don’t share it in this case.” She gets even louder if that’s possible and yells, “It didn’t have to be like this! I came in here thinking you could accept some responsibility for all the problems this school has caused my son! I wanted some acknowledgement. Maybe an apology! I hope your school gets shut down by the state!” Stomps out

Turns to a family sitting out in the office: “Are you thinking of sending your son here? Take it from me… DON’T!” Throws her visitor badge in the general direction of the receptionist and stomps away.

You cause a scene like that? Here’s a tip, school isn’t the major source of problems in your kid’s life.

[Keltikmom]

I assume it’s because they’ve never internalized the word no. And growing up, they learned the bigger the temper tantrum, the quicker you get what you want.

[Tiamat]

You didn’t perform your part of the drama that was in their head - begging them to allow their child to stay at your school and giving in to every slight request, let alone demand. By not fulfilling your part you left them nothing to do but escalate.

[Angelo]

“You didn’t perform your part of the drama that was in their head - begging them to allow their child to stay at your school and giving in to every slight request”

Yeah, that was our Head of School’s take. Mom expected me to beg forgiveness on behalf of the school, promise the sun, moon and stars (“You want the school to provide a one-on-one tutor for your son? You got it! Please don’t leave!”) When I took the polite, “Let us know where to send the records” approach, Mom lost her mind.

[apple annie]

You want to take your kid out of this school? Watch how fast I can pack his backpack!

What makes people think that the prospect of an obnoxious overly demanding student/parent/client/customer leaving would be anything other than a gift?