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arrrrgghhh
Old 12-30-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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My husband has a new position at church and he's driving me crazzzy. He wants to run all his ideas by me. We just had a biiig disagreement because he wants to use our credit card to foot the bill on something, but I know we won't get the money back. So I stated that I disagreed with his idea for that reason, and he said I was being a butthole about it. WHAT?? I feel that if he does this, this group of people (The Men's Ministry) might expect him to do stuff like that all the time. Why can't he see that?


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Old 12-30-2009, 04:09 PM
 
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You are not being unreasonable. Let me tell you a story- my sister's boyfriend (they live together) got involved in a side business that his boss and boss's relative had formed. "Bob" decided that to really be part of the business he had to invest in the company- so he bought items on his own credit card that the other two wanted but he never got money back. He also spent thousands on gas to go to these functions that the company was putting on- and he never was reimbursed for that either. Any profit went to the other two to pay off their bills. "Bob" bought an enclosed trailer and a new truck- all to help haul the many items he bought for the business and items that brought in lots of money at the functions- but which he continued to not see any! This went on for months during which time "Bob" liquidated his 401K and talked my sister in to loaning him some money. Eventually the business faltered and "Bob" finally saw the light when the bills became too much. This was more than a year down the line! He started to sell off items he had bought- but he lost a lot of money in the process and over more than a year since he walked away he is still paying off the credit card debt he incurred. This all started because he wanted to be helpful. He's a nice guy and was pretty dumb about being used. If your husband was smart, he would not even start down that road! BTW- "Bob" no longer works for his boss. Talk about a tough learning experience- and it also affected my sister. Good luck with your husband!
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Old 12-30-2009, 05:09 PM
 
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Quote:
he said I was being a butthole about it
Nice language from the leader of a church group
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male friend
Old 12-30-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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I have learned, the hard way, that the man in my life, the important man in my life, NEVER listens to what I have to say. Instead he spends the time I am talking thinking of things to say back to me. I have also learned that if a male friend of his says the EXACT same words that I said he will listen to his friend.

Therefore, if your husband has a male friend that you feel comfortable talking with I would suggest you run by what happened and see if this person agrees with you. If this person does agree with you then I would ask this person to speak to your husband. Maybe then he will "see the light" and not use "your" credit card to foot the bill for this new group.
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Old 12-31-2009, 06:11 AM
 
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Why doesn't the church get a credit card just for the Men's Ministry. Then the members of the group have to chip in to pay bill.
Most of all, aren't you extremely offended by his language? At least he didn't use worse words!


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Well,
Old 12-31-2009, 09:16 AM
 
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I didn't get offended at his language. I actually laughed because I figured he used those words to get back at me for saying he needed to get off "his lazy butt" and do something around the house. That was about a month ago. He's probably been thinking about worse language in his mind, but he wouldn't say anything harsher than that. Milyn, I think I will take your advice and mention it to to a friend.
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Not a good idea
Old 12-31-2009, 01:36 PM
 
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I'm always hesitant about footing the bill and waiting for reimbursement (even with flex spending).
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Old 12-31-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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I was in ministry at a small church for years...nothing like ministry to bring out the worst in a marriage.
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Faith and Patience
Old 12-31-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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The plan must be the Lord's. Tell your DH you have faith in the Lord's plan and his, but it is never the Lord's plan if it must be financed through debt as The Father disagrees with becoming a servant to the lender.Thus if it is the will of the Lord there will be financing provided by the church or The Father not a credit card. Pray and wait.
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thanks
Old 01-01-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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r9miles thanks for that advice. trishg1, you are right--small church ministry


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Old 01-02-2010, 05:21 AM
 
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Gee, miniteacher, there sure seems to be an incongruence between your spouse's "position at church" and his refernece to you as a "butthole" because you don't see eye to eye. What a disgusting thing to call your wife, especially under the guise of a "church" discussion.

Personally, he doesn't appear fit for any sort of leadership role at church. I'm just saying....
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Old 01-08-2010, 05:46 PM
 
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He was angry and he apologized later. He's not perfect, however he has a good heart and wants to please God. He's taking this thing one day at a time. (Even cleaning up his mouth.)
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