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"Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me"

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kinderdoodle kinderdoodle is offline
 
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"Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me"
Old 10-01-2011, 05:46 PM
 
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Five year old boy's response to mostly everything is "They're mean to me, they hate me!" This moves into "I hate them!" Then "Everybody hates me, and I hate them!" In my 20 plus years of teaching I haven't met a child quite like this. He was like this in preschool,too.
How can I turn this around? Any ideas on words to replace "hate" with that will work for a five year old?


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Old 10-01-2011, 09:38 PM
 
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Have you tried greeting him with " I am so glad you are here today. You are so special"? Perhaps he could stay in a while at recess to help you. Have another student help too. Make them partner helpers for a week or two. Just a thought.
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Old 10-01-2011, 09:57 PM
 
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Sometimes it helps if you ask the class who would like to be this student's special friend for the day? Tell them that they can sit together, line up together, eat together at lunch, play together at recess, etc. When he sees all the hands that are raised he'll feel warm and fuzzy. If you make it extra special . . . the special friend can move his chair beside this student's chair/desk, etc. all the kids will want to volunteer. He may not know how to strike up a conversation, begin a friendship, enter a game, etc. Your goal should be for him to make "one" friend and then he'll feel loved.
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Old 10-01-2011, 10:53 PM
 
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Have you tried a class meeting type of thing. Everyone sits in a circle. You have a "talking ball". Only the person holding the ball may talk. The person holding the ball says a compliment about another student and then passes the "talking ball" to that student. Then that students gives a compliment to another student. You play it until everyone has received a compliment. Everyone goes away feeling appreciated!
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Trouble?
Old 10-02-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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Honestly, he sounds very lonely. Does he have trouble making friends? It seems like he feels like it is him against everyone else. Maybe he needs a step-by-step lesson on how to treat friends, so that he can make one?

Maybe start a discussion on hobbies, and find something that your student likes to do. If you find someone else who likes to do the same thing, maybe they could work together to draw a picture of it - build a bond somehow

It sounds like he has older siblings, because in my experience, young children don't often use the word "hate." Maybe he is used to being isolated at home, and is building his own wall at school so that no one will get close to him. This sounds like a tough situation, and sad


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What I do
Old 10-02-2011, 03:08 PM
 
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Seems like someone is always coming up on the playground that is covered with children and says to me, "No one will play with me." I usually handle it one of two ways. I call a couple of children that are close by and say something like, "Bobby, Jason has a problem. He says no one will play with him. Can you help him?" The child almost always says enthusiastically "I'll play with him!" and they run off playing and laughing. If it seems that the child just doesn't know how to walk up to a group of children and join in then I ask him/her who they would like to play with. When they tell me then I walk with them over to the child and teach them how to ask to join a group. Most kids figure this out on their own; some need a little push.
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Old 10-04-2011, 12:12 PM
 
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I definitely have a boy in my class who acts this way. Every morning, he comes in saying he has no friends. No one has even had a chance to talk to him, so he came to school feeling this way. His sister is a year older, in first grade, so I agree with the other comment about it could be because of older siblings.

I always think it is a good idea to have some sort of activity that the students share what their interests are. Then, you can tell them you are putting them in groups with similar interests so the boy knows that he can talk to them about something. The groups could just be for a project or a table. Either way, hopefully someone will start the conversation.

They may even have fun trying to guess what the similarity is, which could also tie into a math lesson for sorting.
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