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MsGerbil MsGerbil is offline
 
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Awkward... Has this happened to you?
Old 01-11-2017, 01:56 PM
 
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Hi everyone! Has this ever happened to any of you? I had a class today where the teacher was there in the morning and did attendance. Three students were laughing and joking the whole first period, so I asked one student how his work was going, and this student and "what about her?" There was a student who looked like a tomboy, with very long hair in a braid, a round open face and full lips. This student is a boy. It was so embarrassing and I apologized and fortunately the student and his friends started laughing and didn't care (depending on the student, it could have been horrible for him). Because I didn't do attendance, I had no way of knowing his name. I really thought he was a girl. I had this another time, where a student looked like a boy. Not being mean, but she did.... Fortunately the teacher was there and spoke to her before I had to, by a girl's name. However, I slipped up once and called her "him". It was embarrassing for us both (I try to move on fast so as not to bring attention to my goof).

But seriously, has this happened to anyone else? You really got someone's gender wrong? Or even had to call out a unisex name and said the wrong gender? How do you avoid this? Today was fine. He didn't care. But it can be very hurtful and I'm afraid of making this goof again.... I can't avoid pronouns entirely. Has this happened to anyone else?


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subasaurus subasaurus is offline
 
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Happened to me a few times
Old 01-11-2017, 03:02 PM
 
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Don't worry, chances are you're not the first person that's happened to. I've had instances where I couldn't tell. Or where the attendance roster has a boy's name for a girl listed and I asked if "he" is here today. It's fairly common for unisex genders these days. Pretty confusing at times.
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Old 01-11-2017, 03:37 PM
 
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On average, this happens to me about 3-5 times a year. but usually in the lower grades.

It is much more common to think that boys are girls rather than vice versa, because some young boys have long hair.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:36 PM
 
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I guess it makes sense it would happen more in lower grades, because kids can look similar at younger ages. But these kids were 6th and 7th grade respectively. I'm more mortified for that reason. That's such an impressionable age. I try to avoid middle school in general. But it worried me that it happened again, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings :-/
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at least twice
Old 01-11-2017, 04:38 PM
 
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Once a 7th grader who wears his hair long and last year, there was a young lady who looked to me like a young man with a buzz cut in 10th grade. I don't usually look below the neck because I like to keep eye contact while doing attendance. However this young lady didn't know that I mistook her for a young gent in my head. The other time happened when a young man was playing in the field and I called out by saying to him "Excuse me young lady!". Very embarrassing . Could be a hair thing.

Good thing that gender-neutral names are not popular! On that note, I know that Kelly with a "y" in the end is a young lady or is that with an "I"? And then there was someone I used to go to school with whose name was Courtney and was a boy. There was also a student whose name was "Ryder" and I still couldn't figure out if it was male or female because of the loose clothing.


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Old 01-11-2017, 10:29 PM
 
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I once had a 2nd grade boy with long hair and round face who I called "her". Seat partner told me he was a boy. Also had a girl in upper elementary who looked like a boy, hung out with the boys, who I called "him". She said she didn't mind because she liked to hang out with boys. I've seen this girl every so often the last few years. The last time she had matured, grown out her hair and had high, round cheekbones. Don't know how she is identifying herself now. And now I am seeing a lot of gender neutral names that are not "real" names as we are used to. Have to check out the gender on the roll sheet sometimes (if it's there).

So, yes this has happened. However, I don't know how to avoid it without watching every word I say. And since I'm careful with my words and don't say derogatory things in the classroom, I don't worry about it. I once said, "Close but no cigar," when asking for an answer and the students gasped that I would say the word cigar. Guess I'll say banana next time.
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Boy girl
Old 01-12-2017, 12:26 AM
 
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Yes it has happened to me. I try not to but it's really difficult to tell sometimes. I get names I can't even pronounce. But then I just say sorry, my mistake and move on. Sometimes I say their name and ask if he or she is whatever and tell them I'm not good at remembering.
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Old 01-12-2017, 07:30 AM
 
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Yes, it sure has. The boy was an elementary student with beautiful long hair. I apologized and didn't make a big deal of it, and we moved on. Apparently the boy was getting teased by his classmates (per the classroom teacher, though I didn't witness it that day), b/c a few months later he came in with a nice-looking, short haircut.
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A couple of years ago I encountered a
Old 01-12-2017, 04:52 PM
 
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middle schooler whose gender wasn't obvious. To make matters worse, he/she had a name that could go either way. Rather than embarrass the student, I avoided any reference to gender and made sure to call him/her by name. Not sure to this day if I was dealing with a boy or a girl.
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Old 01-13-2017, 05:57 AM
 
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Wait until it happens with a parent. We aren't sure how far along things are, so we refer to the student's "parental until" (privately).


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Awkward
Old 01-13-2017, 01:00 PM
 
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Yes, this is becoming more and more common, and I'm referring to the upper grades. I've had it happen in 7th grade, and the student had a name that it took me a while to decide if I was dealing with a boy or girl. My most recent one was last week. I'm taking attendance and looking for a boy and thought a girl was in the seat. The student then came up to me and said he was Ed or what definitely a boy's name. The student standing in front of me was slight of build with long dyed green hair.

I'm a male and walked into the boys' restroom at a high school. I stopped in my tracks because it looked like a girl was standing at the urinal. My first thought was I had walked into the girls restroom. Then I realized there would not be urinals in the girls' restroom. It then hit me that I had seen this boy before. He is short and skinny, with very long (half way down his back) straight blonde hair. From behind he looks like he could be an attractive 15 year old girl.

Every school has or will deal with transgender students. This is the world we are living. They will also start identifying at an earlier age.
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Oops... just noticed...
Old 01-16-2017, 02:56 AM
 
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"parental until" should have been "parental unit." I don't like autocomplete.
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