[learn]

What kind of goals would I possibly give for a meeting like this for a behavior that is inconsistent in kindergarten. The child has anger issues, but every day is different as much as every week. Little things can set him off but then again he's had perfect weeks where nothing has gone wrong.

Any types of example goals that you all can share please?

Thank you.

If the behavior is inconsistent, your goal is that the child behaves appropriately and consistently in X situations. He / she can only work on one thing at a time. Eg Do you want him to sit still and look at the speaker at circle time ? Do you want him to share the crayons at the table? Do you want him to say ‘please stop. I don’t like that’ if somebody bothers him instead of lashing out?

Choose which one you are going to target and be very consistent in how you work. I personally don’t like stickers for doing what you should do anyway, but sometimes needs must. One year I gave out points for good behavior. I gave them out right left and centre, children would suggest x should get a point for Y. There was no tallying, nobody counted them up, and everyone was happy. It was all verbal, no charts.

So... choose your target behavior and tell the child you know he can do it, but sometimes he forgets so you are going to help him remember to .... by .... . Maybe he has a buddy who could help him to remember. Maybe you have a silent signal. When you see him behaving appropriately, a smile, a thumbs up, may be all the reinforcement needed.

The focus should be on helping him to remember, not on punishing him for not remembering. This should be made clear to parents too, so that they use the same language. Sometimes asking him to help you come up with a way to help him remember can work.

Be sure to give lots of positive reinforcement. You are not looking for perfection . It won’t happen. Not right away anyway. But if you can move from ‘rarely’ or ‘sometimes’ to ‘most of the time’, that’s a lot of progress. When he forgets, it’s OK to point out that he still forgets .
‘ but i notice that most of the time you remember to ...., and you are trying hard, that makes me proud of you, does it make you proud of yourself? This bit is important.
. He’s not doing it for you. He’s doing it for himself.

It is likely, hopefully, that as he is able to focus better in one area, you will also see improvement in other areas.