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Can't think of a title: Good vibes pls
Old 07-26-2020, 08:27 AM
  #1

So, my husbands uncle is 87 yo. We are his only family basically. My dh calls him every single day, goes to see him on weekends. My dh is his health proxy. We know all his wishes. He has a DNR (do not resusitate) no tube feeding, no CPR, nothing that could keep him alive if he were on his way out. He lives alone in apt building. Refuses assistive living, aid, anything. He's sharp as a tack. He can have a conversation about anything and knows exactly what he's talking about. He's had many conversations about wanting to die that he's had enough, life is hard, he's weak, can't really get up w/o pain, he's lived his life etc. Plus he lives in the same house he grew up in with his mother who died many years ago. Never married. So here's the story:
On Thursday, my dh called him at 11:00 and got no answer, he tried all day to call. This sometimes happens as he may be eating, in bathroom, etc. Finally at 6:00 we decided to go over. We get there (dh has key) and he's laying on bed. At first we thought he was dead but we saw a flicker of movement. Dh called his name about 10 times and all of a sudden startled him awake and he screamed "I'm dead". We told him he was alive but he kept saying leave I want to die, I'm done. Then he just laid there. We think he took pills. We called 911. EMS came and took his vitals. He told them he wants to die. They wanted to do some procedure but he said no and we showed them his wishes which he wrote on paper. They took him to hospital and have a copy of his DNR and all his wishes. Today he calls my husband and tells him he's being spied on, they think he's 88, everyone's in on it. and a bunch of other delusional stuff. A psychiatrist spoke to him yesterday and said he was fully lucid, he explained his wishes very clearly, and he is emotionally ready to go. (apparently his body isn't.) The hospital has an aid sitting with him 24/7 due to his wish to die. They can't give him anything because he refuses and he has everything clearly written down. Today he was delusional. saying such weird things and saying my dh was in on it. I think over the last 3 hours hes gotten better but still not himself. The only other time he acted like this was when he came out of anesthesia 15 years ago. Everyone at the hosp has seen him fully lucid and sharp so even they see this as a behavior that is not him. It's horrible, please send good vibes if you can. Thank you


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Old 07-26-2020, 08:31 AM
  #2

Could he have a UTI?

Sending positive thoughts. I can't imagine being him, and it would be so hard to watch.

I can imagine hitting a point where it wouldn't seem worth going on, especially in this time of isolation.
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No easy answers
Old 07-26-2020, 08:37 AM
  #3

Wow! What a difficult situation for all of you. My heart breaks for your uncle. I can't begin to imagine how he must be feeling. And my heart breaks for you and your husband, watching this happen. I will be thinking of your family as you face this uncertainty.
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Old 07-26-2020, 09:14 AM
  #4

what a concern for you and your DH.

I also wonder about UTI.
Magnesium levels???
Both of these things greatly affected my MIL and her "loopiness".
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Old 07-26-2020, 09:28 AM
  #5

No advice. Just sending some good thoughts.


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Old 07-26-2020, 09:42 AM
  #6

That's so awful! I'm sorry! Could it be Covid? I just read an article where a woman who had it became suicidal and delusional. She kept ripping out her oxygen tubes and talking about wanting to die. They said neurological disorders are not uncommon. She had to have someone in the room constantly to watch her, but she eventually recovered. Has he been tested?

Good wishes for him and your family!
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Good vibes
Old 07-26-2020, 09:42 AM
  #7

Are sent your way.
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Old 07-26-2020, 09:59 AM
  #8

This is so sad. But I do agree, they should check NOW for a UTI. I'm sure if they admitted him they did a COVID test already.



Sending prayers.



Please keep us posted.
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Praying for your husband's uncle
Old 07-26-2020, 10:05 AM
  #9

I hope the situation is resolved soon.
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uncle
Old 07-26-2020, 10:27 AM
  #10

Keeping DH's uncle in my prayers!


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Old 07-26-2020, 10:49 AM
  #11

Low calcium causes weird things. Might want to see if they can check that. It's often overlooked when doing tests.
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Old 07-26-2020, 11:16 AM
  #12

There is something called ICU psychosis/delirium that causes people, often older people, to act this way when in the hospital several days. If covid and uti are ruled out, it could be this. You didn't mention whether he is in the ICU but I imagine it can occur on regular floors as well.

https://www.medicinenet.com/icu_psychosis/article.htm
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Old 07-26-2020, 11:26 AM
  #13

Positive thoughts and prayers for all.
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Old 07-26-2020, 04:08 PM
  #14

Quote:
There is something called ICU psychosis/delirium that causes people, often older people, to act this way when in the hospital several days.
Yes, this happened to my grandmother several times during stays at the hospital or rehab facility. It was sad and scary. Sending all of my good thoughts and prayers.
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Hugs to you and your husband.
Old 07-26-2020, 04:41 PM
  #15

Thank you so much for being his family. I know that he loves you and appreciates everything so much.
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Old 07-26-2020, 04:59 PM
  #16

Thank you. No improvement.. They want to put him on psychiatriac ward but he really has all his faculties and continues to be very lucid most of the time. It's so weird and upsetting. He left a note for my dh and his brother saying thank you for everything and this is what he wants. He said that they may be sad at first but then realize that this was what he wanted. He still has a 24/7 aid with him.
*He's not in ICU, just a regular floor.
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Old 07-27-2020, 08:22 AM
  #17

Sending a prayer!
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Old 07-27-2020, 02:54 PM
  #18

Sending prayers.
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Old 07-27-2020, 03:52 PM
  #19

Sending prayers for your dear uncle.
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Old 07-28-2020, 07:06 PM
  #20

My heart goes out to all of you. How terribly sad and stressful. I'm sending prayers your way. Hugs!
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