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Don't feel like myself...advice?
Old 08-17-2022, 06:03 PM
  #1

Sorry, this is kind of a rambling, a vent, advice, I don't know...

I don't feel like myself, and I don't know what to do. It seems like everything bothers or upsets me (in a sad, hurtful way, not an angry way). I feel like people don't like me, excluded, unappreciated. I'm normally always happy with a smile on my face and positive. It's been really hard to get myself to smile or to be positive to something. It's hard to say how long it's lasted, but probably leading up to school starting and especially this week since school's started. Since I started at my current job, I've loved it. This is my 4th year and this school, and I find myself dreading going. As I type this, I realize I feel these things just with work, not in other aspects of my life.

I don't know what it is/why. Is it the change of going back to school after an enjoyable summer? Is it all of the changes at work (we've lost people, gotten new people, etc. people have changed or let their true colors show and the whole climate feels different) It is because I need a med adjustment? Is it hormonal (I'm almost 3 weeks late...no I'm not pregnant, unless it is pathogenesis!)? Do I truly have a reason to feel this way or am I being overly sensitive about things?

I know I have to be patient and that it won't get better over night, but I also don't know what to do in the mean time. How do I keep going to work and not "burn bridges" or give the impression I'm a Debbie Downer? Normally I can fake it until I make it, but I don't even think I can fake it.


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Old 08-17-2022, 06:17 PM
  #2

I've been there, so I'm sending you prayers!!!

Definitely call your doctor if you feel like you can't fake it! That's what I had to do.

I did have to go on meds and my doctor gradually upped them from 10 to 20 to 30. Once I got past the hump, I got off them.

Other things I did:

*Daily gratitudes really help(ed).

*Saying the rosary before bed. (I *think* you are Catholic or work at a Catholic school (?))

*2 apps really helped me. Hallow and First5. Both are prayer/biblical based.

*Tried to get outside as much as possible. Rode my bike and swam.

*Journaled about my feelings and allowed myself to cry.

My principal was so patient with me. He knew I was really struggling, but also that I was also really trying (everything) to get past my (sudden onset of) depression. The breakthrough finally came. It will come for you, too.

{{{hugs}}}

Not sure if this is what you were looking for but it's from the heart. Hang in there!
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Old 08-17-2022, 06:36 PM
  #3

Awwww, Teacherbee, Iím thinking of you and sending hugs.
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Old 08-17-2022, 06:37 PM
  #4

Call your doctor asap for an appointment and make sure you tell the nurse how you are feeling and that you need to see someone very soon. You know yourself well enough to know you aren't emotionally healthy about work and you need some medical help. Show up in the office if necessary to make your case. Take the first appointment offered even if you have to miss school. Tell your family how you're feeling. You need some support.

In the meantime, one thing at a time. Concentrate on whatever task is immediately in front of you and do that. Don't think too far ahead. Just handle the day, the hour, the moment, but specifically the task. Teach the math problem, grade the paper, get everyone lined up. Try to be pleasant but don't feel you have to socialize with other teachers right now. For the moment, it takes all your energy to teach your class. It's okay to close your door.

I'm praying for you and concerned about you. Let us know how you're doing.
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Old 08-17-2022, 07:07 PM
  #5

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. It's a terrible feeling to feel like that. It really stood out to me that you're 3 weeks late. I know my hormones do a number on my emotions, particularly being more sensitive.

Definitely see your doctor if it continues. In the meantime, try to build some things that you find relaxing or enjoyable into your schedule. I find that I need extra tv time and quiet week night evenings, along with 1 fun weekend activity at the beginning of the year!

Thinking of you!


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Old 08-17-2022, 08:01 PM
  #6

schedule something that makes you happy each day after school to look forward to

set your sights on something you love at work each day--a funny kid, a fun game you play with the kids, a relaxing Mindful Moment with your class, an educational video that will allow you to have a small break, a picture book read aloud with great illustrations or message....

hang in there!
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Old 08-17-2022, 08:04 PM
  #7

I hope you will see your doctor. Eliza4one and Cassyree and others have given you great advice which I hope you will consider. You have always been so upbeat and chipper here on PT, at least that’s the way I think of you. I am praying your happy feelings will return again soon, but meanwhile please get the help you need!
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No new advice
Old 08-17-2022, 11:16 PM
  #8

Just great big hugs.
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Old 08-17-2022, 11:56 PM
  #9

Thank you for sharing. The concerns you have for yourself and the advice offered by others will benefit myself and others who feel the same.
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Old 08-18-2022, 04:01 AM
  #10

I agree with the wise advice to see a doc. A change in your cycle and your emotional regulation sounds like the onset of menopause. I hope you take a day off to see a doc and pamper yourself.


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(((Teacherbee)))
Old 08-18-2022, 04:54 AM
  #11

Iím so sorry you are struggling. It sounds like itís a combination of your school friends leaving and snarky ones staying, and possibly needing a meds adjustment.

I hope you get to your doctor asap. At school, keep your focus on your students, as I know that is where your joy lies. They are the reason you are there, and you always make such a difference in their lives.

Keep posting, and let us know how you're doing. We care about you!
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Old 08-18-2022, 06:05 AM
  #12

I agree that a visit to your doctor is in order. It's worth ruling out a physical cause for these feelings and a med adjustment might be very helpful.

Teaching is a tough job and it doesn't always bring out the best in people. I'm sure I will puzzle the rest of my life about the childish and immature behavior some teachers exhibit when things get rough, and sometimes even when things (at school anyway) are fine. It's my theory that there is a certain type of person who is drawn to teaching precisely because they can't grow up. Fortunately they are in the minority. You can't do a thing about that, but it can be a real downer.

I was always a bit depressed during those pre-service days before the students arrived. Even though students have become increasingly difficult and unrewarding to work with in recent years, I generally felt more enthusiasm once the actual teaching began. Keep your focus on the students and remember that you don't have to be friends with everyone at work, or anyone at work, really, in order to be a good team player. If you don't have friends outside the workplace, it might be worth figuring out how you can find some.

It is important to find ways to cope. For me, nothing beats physical activity and the outdoors for improving my mood. Prayer and/or meditation is also a great idea. Can you find a GRACE trail or a prayer labyrinth near you? These are fantastic ways to combine these two things.
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Old 08-18-2022, 06:35 AM
  #13

I am sorry that you are struggling right now. I agree that you should talk with your doctor. If you can't get an in-person appointment, maybe you could have a virtual appointment.

Hormone fluctuations could definitely have an affect on how you are feeling. Our bodies change over time so your medication or dosage might need to be changed. Plus, the last two years dealing with Covid-all the protocols and unknowns, along to adjusting to our new "normal", have been very stressful for everyone. So much is out of our control.

Be kind to yourself. Eat healthy, get some time outside, exercise and make sure you get a good night's sleep. Listen to uplifting music. It is okay to cry when you feel overwhelmed.

I know that I have a hard time with change. Sometimes I get focused on what could happen and anticipate the worst. I have to work on changing my "self talk." You have some changes this year and you are going to miss your friends. It doesn't mean that it will be a horrible year-it will just be different this year. Be open and look for the good things! (Easier said than done.)

When our district switched from neighborhood schools to campus schools back in 2010, I was moved back to kindergarten from first grade. (I had transferred out of kindergarten a few years before that because I needed a break. We were half day kindergarten back then and I had over 50+ students between the two classes and no aide. Plus, I had two young children at home.) Several of my good friends were moved to different schools. I was devastated and cried for two weeks straight. When I look back on it now, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I love teaching kindergarten and love the colleagues I work with now.

Hang in there! It will get better. (((Hugs)))
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Old 08-18-2022, 08:00 AM
  #14

You may also want to consider seeing a therapist. A combination of meds adjustment and talk therapy could be really helpful. Thinking of you and praying you feel much better soon. One day at a time….
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Old 08-18-2022, 09:14 AM
  #15

Youíve been given given wonderful advice. Just one more person here that is pulling for you. 😀
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Old 08-18-2022, 12:06 PM
  #16

I felt this way and found out I had dangerously high blood pressure . My vote is to get some tests run. It could be low hormones, BP, depressionÖ anything.
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Old 08-18-2022, 12:15 PM
  #17

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Many here have given great thoughts and wishes. I agree that it may be time to see your doctor to sort things out.

It is not surprising that you are feeling this only about your work situation. I think it is hard to be in the classroom these days and not feel like you have lost so much control of the profession. I hope that your students bring you some joy.
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Old 08-18-2022, 01:53 PM
  #18

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I think this time of year is very overwhelming.

I agree with everyone that you should see your doctor. One of the best ways I know that my meds aren't working is when I start feeling like no one likes me. We like you!
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Doctor
Old 08-18-2022, 04:23 PM
  #19

Quote:
Call your doctor asap for an appointment and make sure you tell the nurse how you are feeling and that you need to see someone very soon. You know yourself well enough to know you aren't emotionally healthy about work and you need some medical help. Show up in the office if necessary to make your case. Take the first appointment offered even if you have to miss school. Tell your family how you're feeling. You need some support.
I'm hesitant to go to the doctor this soon. I feel like I should wait a few weeks in case it's my period, summer ending, etc. I'm hesitant to up my meds, and I want to make sure it's the right thing to do. Do you think it pays to at least talk to the doctor and if it's too soon, she'd tell me that?
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Worried
Old 08-18-2022, 04:26 PM
  #20

Quote:
A change in your cycle and your emotional regulation sounds like the onset of menopause.

I'm worried about this, too...I'll be 34 in October and the other females in my family didn't start menopause until their mid-50s...although many of them didn't start menstruation until they were 17 or 18. I was 11. I was wondering if there was like an at home kit to test for early menopause...then if that was the case, I could see the doctor.
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Old 08-18-2022, 04:29 PM
  #21

Quote:
I am sorry that you are struggling right now. I agree that you should talk with your doctor. If you can't get an in-person appointment, maybe you could have a virtual appointment.
I have Teledoc through my insurance. Do you think I should at least schedule an appointment and see what they think about making a real time appointment with psychiatrist? As I said, I'm hesitant to make medication changes this early into feeling what I'm feeling in case it blows over.
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Talk Therapy
Old 08-18-2022, 04:31 PM
  #22

Quote:
You may also want to consider seeing a therapist. A combination of meds adjustment and talk therapy could be really helpful. Thinking of you and praying you feel much better soon. One day at a timeÖ.
I've been thinking about this, too. I haven't done therapy since my freshmen year of college. That focused mainly on anxiety and strategies to relieve anxiety. I've done it where I just talk about things that are bothering me. What do they to help with those things?
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Talk therapy
Old 08-18-2022, 04:41 PM
  #23

I think a good therapist can help you understand whatís bothering you and discuss strategies to help you deal with the stress and depression youíre experiencing. The trick is to find a therapist you like and with whom you can make progress, so you may have to try more than one. A good therapist should also know when you need to see a doctor for meds. The therapist and doctor should work together as needed. Some things are emotional and some things are chemical/physical, and they are all connected.
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Thank you
Old 08-18-2022, 04:45 PM
  #24

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your well wishes and advice. I really appreciate it! I need to start saying the rosary daily again. I did at the end of last year when the climate started to change, and it helped. I started a surrender novena today. A couple of days ago, I added a prayer to St. Dymphna to my daily prayers. I have been walking a lot, but I haven't done a lot of running or harder cardio. Maybe that would help, too. I'm going to start eating healthier, too. I wouldn't say my diet is bad, but eating even healthier with more fresh fruits and vegetables may help. Right now, I'm just hoping my period starts soon. I'm definitely considering and open to the other suggestions, too. Like I said, I am a little hesitant about contacting a doctor right now, asap, but if this doesn't get better, I will. I know everyone goes through hard times, and I don't want to increase my dose if this blows over. I'm really trying not to up my meds as much as possible. I'm open to it, but I don't want to get in the habit of upping them every few years (my last adjustment was about 5 years ago, I think).

Today went a little better. I was a hurt by a few things, and whether it was real or me being too sensitive, I was at least able to shake it off and focus on getting things done. Yesterday, I couldn't. I just wanted to cry and run to my mom.
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Thanks!
Old 08-18-2022, 05:23 PM
  #25

Quote:
I think a good therapist can help you understand whatís bothering you and discuss strategies to help you deal with the stress and depression youíre experiencing. The trick is to find a therapist you like and with whom you can make progress, so you may have to try more than one. A good therapist should also know when you need to see a doctor for meds. The therapist and doctor should work together as needed. Some things are emotional and some things are chemical/physical, and they are all connected.
Thanks! I appreciate it.
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Old 08-18-2022, 06:10 PM
  #26

Peri-menopause is a possibility and is pretty normal for women to have before menopause. Best of luck to you.
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Old 08-18-2022, 06:16 PM
  #27

Just a thought...could you be grieving, by chance, but not know it? You said there have been changes at your school and some of your close friends/colleagues are no longer there. Change is hard for me! I actually grieve most changes!!

If so, allow yourself to grieve!!
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Good thought
Old 08-18-2022, 06:25 PM
  #28

Quote:
Just a thought...could you be grieving, by chance, but not know it? You said there have been changes at your school and some of your close friends/colleagues are no longer there. Change is hard for me! I actually grieve most changes!!

If so, allow yourself to grieve!!
Thanks! Maybe it is grief. It was my two closest colleagues. One I could vent to about anything and she'd get it completely. She also got my sense of humor and frustrations. The other was just always fun, joyful, positive, and inclusive.
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