[wildflowerz]

So dh broke a bowl, not a big deal, but he left shards and chunks of it on the kitchen counter. He said he vacuumed the floor and didn’t see it on the counter. I lost it when he said, “I did the best I could”

I actually said, “Maybe your best isn’t acceptable.”

I found it when we were on the way out the door to clean up a mess in the RV. He didn’t realize that pillow cases aren’t absorbent like towels. So what he thought he dried up just got smeared around.

He really is a nice man but it is like he looks at things through a tube and can’t see the whole picture.

I could go on. Like the time he bought 20 bags of moldy mulch...

[twin2]

The first thing I can think of is my husband's idea of cleaning up a mess is to dry it up with a dry towel. If you dry the mess, it's gone, right?

[Hifiman]

his best to make you feel valued and indispensable. Let him know that at least one person in this world understands.

[hand]

I think I’ll agree with Hifi on this one. Or at least that’s what my DH would do. Whenever I comment about DH’s lack of understanding at how to do something, he tells me very sweetly “that’s what I have you for.”

[Hifiman]

Earlier in his marriage his comment to someone was that he has no taste. That's why he married his wife. Of course he meant that she was the one who had taste.

[mhugs]

DH is putting away the Christmas decorations> A very simple matter. Each tote is labeled with what goes in it. You take one tote. Pick up the items and out them in. No he collected every thing humped them in the living room and is making a big deal of winding up each cord and tying it off-no just put it in the box with the item it goes to. Then the totes go in the attic in reverse numerical order #1 is the last to go up because it is the 1st things we need to decorate. I'm laying sitting here-chest hurting-coughing up gunk-and thinking COVID could be worse.

[ICrazyTeach]

Each tote is labeled with what goes in it.

Then the totes go in the attic in reverse numerical order

mhugs, these are the most beautiful words I have read in a very long time My true self longs for that level of organization. But I live with people who can't even sort kitchen utensils correctly. Instead I live in complete chaos

[wildflowerz]

I’m glad people are able to commiserate.

Whatever I said must have worked. When I got home from the RV he had started cleaning the oven, he cleaned out the garage, and offered to ply scrabble tonight.

Thanks for the words of wisdom Hifi. I think he is trying to make himself indispensable now.

[CricketSong]

It’s difficult, but don’t clean it up for him. He will eventually figure out there is glass everywhere and he will learn.

It’s a joke, but it’s become a reality for many women that they have to do the lion’s share because they are more “able.” But we are more able because we have no one else to do it for us , and we had to learn. I can’t decorate either, but I do know how to pick up glass . It takes no real talent to clean up after yourself.

Unfortunately, a messy house is always considered an inadequacy in women and a hilarious quirk in men. Glass everywhere will be blamed on you by anyone who walks through your house. But I no longer do it for my husband .Because no one ever did it for me once I was a preteen on up.

Even when I was working and my husband had retired , I was the cleaner and I found it massively unfair. Until one day I just stopped. I only took the lions share due to not being considered worthy of having my own time to relax, my own time to think, and my own time to fail. It’s truly a luxury , isn’t it, when just “trying” is considered to be a glowing compliment to ones character and everyone excuses you for basically just doing the bare minimum. And that happens when you stop taking the lion’s share and demand equal share. I’m sure you are nice, too. So just be super nice but don’t do much. So I too just started “trying” and not caring anymore. I won’t be the slack lackey, I am a real person with interests and desires and I don’t have time to make sure other adults know how to do basic things anymore.