Christmas Gifts - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

Christmas Gifts

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
INKTEACHER
 
 
Guest

INKTEACHER
 
 
Guest
Christmas Gifts
Old 12-19-2013, 10:58 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

I am a new teacher in Kindergarten. One of the other team teachers is also new. I received two ornaments, a gift card and a box of home made cookies. I have 23 students. She has 24 and received NOTHING, not even a card. I don't think she is upset because she wanted gifts. She is taking it as not being liked by her parents. Our school is not a "poor" school by no means. I feel bad because our other two team teachers received gifts from every students. One teacher made a crack about her not doing her job. She is a great teacher. She was out money on the class party, class gifts, etc. Our test scores are high and we have a great group. I don't know how to help her. She has been going through so many personal issues. She left crying because the kids complained about what she gave them for Christmas, (two nice scholastic books). What do you think? How do I help her I feel horrible!


  Reply With Quote

treemonky treemonky is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 323
Full Member

treemonky
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 323
Full Member

Old 12-19-2013, 04:45 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

I think that whether or not I get gifts depends on the economy, actually. When the economy is good, I get lots of gifts. When it's not good, I get little or nothing.

I, personally, don't like to get gifts. I don't give the students gifts, either. We also don't make gifts for families. That's just not something in our school culture. I always feel awkward when I get a gift. I don't drink coffee and I definitely don't need another Penzey's Teacher Spice box!
treemonky is offline   Reply With Quote
ReeseTeacher's Avatar
ReeseTeacher ReeseTeacher is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 862
Senior Member

ReeseTeacher
 
ReeseTeacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 862
Senior Member

Old 12-19-2013, 04:51 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

I know a lot of teachers shamelessly talk about what they want for Christmas in front of the kids. I've heard teachers do that before. I don't feel it's right. If a student wants to get you a gift, that should be there choice. I know that if one student says they will get the teacher a gift, then the rest will go home and ask their parents to get their teacher a gift too. But otherwise my students will forget all about it if nobody mentions it.

I work in a title one school so not a lot of money involved. I get a lot of old stuffed animals, drawings, and other pre-owned knick-knacks. But I am okay with that! They are such cute kids with such big hearts!
ReeseTeacher is offline   Reply With Quote
Daphne333 Daphne333 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 3,023
Senior Member

Daphne333
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 3,023
Senior Member
gifts
Old 12-19-2013, 05:07 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

Not to sound bad, but in my experience, its the young or "hot" teachers who get the gifts. One of my team members is very very skinny, fashion forward and very pretty. She gets TONS of gifts every year. While the rest of us who are average looking, plump and older get only a few things. I don't take it personal, its just what it is. Honestly, I'd be happy if my kids decided to behave for a Christmas present.
Daphne333 is offline   Reply With Quote
INKTEACHER
 
 
Guest

INKTEACHER
 
 
Guest

Old 12-19-2013, 05:10 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

I asked my kids not to buy me anything and they did. I don't think she thought anything of it until the other teachers started. They came by bragging and told her she must have made all her parents mad. She paid for the children's entire party because her room mother said their was no money left for the class. The other two classes had huge parties and their parents brought in tons of stuff for the parties. The kids left with huge gift bags. Her kids were disappointed, but she spent what she could. The kids complained, her parents complained, etc. Her room mother did nothing and put the blame on her. The parents felt the gift of two books was not enough. It was crazy and she left crying. I feel bad because we had such a wonderful time in my classroom.


  Reply With Quote
TeacherPK6's Avatar
TeacherPK6 TeacherPK6 is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 4,068
Senior Member

TeacherPK6
 
TeacherPK6's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 4,068
Senior Member

Old 12-19-2013, 05:51 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

I wonder if there might be way to (without her knowing) ask her kids to create cards for her? Just super basic with construction paper and writing about what they appreciate about her or "Thank you for teaching us" or something like that?
TeacherPK6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Aderynbach's Avatar
Aderynbach Aderynbach is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 295
Full Member

Aderynbach
 
Aderynbach's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 295
Full Member
Gifts
Old 12-19-2013, 06:10 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

I think it depends on the group of kids. I like the PD's suggestion of encouraging kids to make cards for her.
The kids complaining boils my blood! Kids are so ungrateful. We do not HAVE to get them anything. They need to learn to be thankful! My first job, I gave books and one boy through a GIANT fit about what I got him. It was the last day of school, and I'm ashamed to say I gave in and switched his and another child's gift. It was awful.
It sickens me that teachers drop hints about what they want! I am thankful to get any gifts at all and always try to open them (with the child) kind of secretly so that those who didn't bring a gift don't feel bad.
Aderynbach is offline   Reply With Quote
teachnkids's Avatar
teachnkids teachnkids is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 25,865
Senior Member

teachnkids
 
teachnkids's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 25,865
Senior Member

Old 12-19-2013, 06:50 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

Quote:
. Her kids were disappointed, but she spent what she could. The kids complained, her parents complained, etc. Her room mother did nothing and put the blame on her. The parents felt the gift of two books was not enough.
Ok, this has my blood boiling! I have had a glass of wine after my very crazy day, so it may be the wine talking..... I cannot believe that the parents thought a gift of two books was not enough! I am damn glad I don't teach there! When I taught elementary I would give a book, a pencil or two, and a candy cane. I got great gifts from the parents and they loved the idea of me giving a book. One year I even gave them all the same book and I used it as a book we read for ELA as a whole class.

When I switched to middle school we gave a little treat bag with pencils, erasers, and other little things, plus candy. The kids loved them! I often got nothing, but I was ok because I never expected anything.

This year I am a pullout teacher. I have received awesome gifts! I am giving the kids a candy cane tomorrow.

I think she needs to just realize, as ducky as it is, that she has "that" group! Evidence is the rude behavior from the parents! Teachers are not there to give gifts to their students. They are there to teach them. Sounds like some of the parents need to sit in on the manners lesson!!!!!!!
teachnkids is offline   Reply With Quote
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
GreyhoundGirl GreyhoundGirl is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 21,844
Senior Member

GreyhoundGirl
 
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 21,844
Senior Member

Old 12-19-2013, 07:22 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

It's not her, it's her class but as a new teacher she's not going to realize that for a few years. And shame on the room mother for putting her in that position.

I have gotten a few things this year but not much (mostly what I've gotten is a parent calling the other parents bad mouthing me ). I hate dealing with gifts; the mugs, etc. Although I did get a chocolate bar so that was FANTASTIC!

Seriously, I'm sorry her feelings are hurt, but in a few years she'll realize it's not her, it's the class. Maybe explaining that will help ease the pain a bit.
GreyhoundGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
angelteacher's Avatar
angelteacher angelteacher is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 713
Senior Member

angelteacher
 
angelteacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 713
Senior Member
I am a Christian and celebrate Christmas, but
Old 12-19-2013, 08:10 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

I would like to see all schools put a stop to gifts to and from teachers. It creates hard feelings and does not enhance climate of the building.

Several years ago, I worked for a school where the principal sent home letters requesting no gifts be given to teachers, office staff, etc. Instead, he asked each family to donate $1 per the number of their personal children in the school. Many sent more, and the principal used the money to purchase thank your gifts for every staff member in the school during teacher appreciation week with a note acknowledging the parents for thinking enough of us to contribute to the fund. The principal brought the gifts to the classrooms and asked the children to help him present their gift to the teacher! Parents and teachers alike loved this set up. Many parents simply sent in between 5 and 20....our gifts were gift certificates to the local mall. Many of the teachers got together to go shopping. Everyone felt included and appreciated. That was the best climate I ever worked in as a teacher!


angelteacher is offline   Reply With Quote
GHVFAN's Avatar
GHVFAN GHVFAN is offline
 
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,330
Senior Member

GHVFAN
 
GHVFAN's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,330
Senior Member
The Last Years
Old 12-19-2013, 08:27 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

That I taught, when the subject of gifts ever came up, I always said to buy the classroom a gift, pencils, erasers, box of crayons, color pencils, Kleenex, etc. When the students would ask why the classroom, I would tell them that they were all my gifts and that having them in my class was all I needed.

Worked really well and I didn't have to make room for another 20+ coffee mugs
GHVFAN is offline   Reply With Quote
kahluablast's Avatar
kahluablast kahluablast is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 20,472
Senior Member

kahluablast
 
kahluablast's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 20,472
Senior Member

Old 12-20-2013, 05:23 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

SOme years have been "richer" than others in gifts. While I would feel funny at my school if I didn't receive anything, I could completely understand it. Today is my last day at the school I am at right now, and I imagine that I will get nothing today, and that is absolutely fine. My families don't have much to start with and I would prefer that they spend their money taking care of themselves. I do hope that I get a picture or two.

I would also tell that teacher friend of yours NOT to purchase a single thing at the end of the year to give that class. I wouldn't do it. (I don't usually anyway, but I know many people do). My class this year is lucky because I am moving and don't want to carry my giveaway books so I am giving them all several books, and if I hear a single one of them say something negative about their parting gift from me, I will say something. Part of my job is to teach manners and respect!
kahluablast is offline   Reply With Quote
multigrade's Avatar
multigrade multigrade is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 11,757
Senior Member

multigrade
 
multigrade's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 11,757
Senior Member

Old 12-20-2013, 06:45 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

This is so upsetting! I agree that the teacher who gave 2 books shouldn't purchase anything for the end of the year. How awful. Those parents have taught their DC well.

I usually get one or two gifts from my small class. The K teacher gets a gift from every child, then by 1st they don't care as much. Only two struggling children's families have given me a gift in 6 yrs.
multigrade is offline   Reply With Quote
Tawaki's Avatar
Tawaki Tawaki is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,740
Senior Member

Tawaki
 
Tawaki's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,740
Senior Member
been on both ends
Old 12-20-2013, 07:19 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

Teaching art, one doesn't receive much. I've gotten a beautiful pastel set, Prisma colored pencils, cards, other assort little things. Some years zilch!

Laat year, the three newbie Kindie teachers received a spa gift of around $200 a piece. Someone owned the business, and said if the parents covered x amount, he'd write off the rest. If all the money pooled cracked $300, I'd be surprised. Yeah, people were grousing about that.

Also factor train wrecks in parent's lives. Some years I was broke and in the hospital. Two years ago my husband was there. I made it up at the end of the year.

This year there is less wreckage, and I gave the teacher an Amazon gift card, and to one of the specialist who is working with Dear Kid.

My gift to the teacher is making sure Dear Kid does not screw around, and does everything expected. Dear Kid was caught toss snow and missed the rest of recess. Fair or not, it's the rules, and I didn't do a screaming phone call like the other two parents.

My previous school was in a very affluent area. No one received much, after all we are doing a JOB per one mom.
Lol...just part of the hired help.

I just can't be bothered with who got what anymore.

Last edited by Tawaki; 12-20-2013 at 07:23 AM.. Reason: typo
Tawaki is offline   Reply With Quote
readerleader's Avatar
readerleader readerleader is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,808
Senior Member

readerleader
 
readerleader's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,808
Senior Member
gifts
Old 12-20-2013, 08:57 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

I have no answer as to why this teacher received nothing from her students. It's just rude. It doesn't take much to make a card! Some of the things I treasure most are the things that cost the least.

I also don't know why teachers buy students gifts. As much as I might care for them, this is my job and they are not my children! It sounds to me like this school should have a "no student gifts" policy. How dare anyone criticize a gift.

As far as parties go, if the parents don't send stuff in we don't have it. Plain and simple.
readerleader is online now   Reply With Quote
INKTEACHER
 
 
Guest

INKTEACHER
 
 
Guest

Old 12-20-2013, 09:44 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

Thank you for your comments. Now here is the rest of the story! This morning I ran into one of her mothers. I found our why her parents are so upset. They gave the room mother money for a gift card. All the kids gave what they could afford $1-$10 each. The parents are mad because she didn't thank them or even comment to the kids. She NEVER received it. The room mother also collected money to help her (the teacher) purchase the students' gift. I told the parent who I spoke to me to call our principal. It sounds like the room mother has kept the gift money and party money. How horrible. I just knew there had to be more to this story. Thanks for your comments!
  Reply With Quote
bookbadger's Avatar
bookbadger bookbadger is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 893
Senior Member

bookbadger
 
bookbadger's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 893
Senior Member

Old 12-20-2013, 04:18 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

Glad to hear that the teacher has an answer about her gift (no gift)...but terrible that the money was kept by the room mom!
bookbadger is offline   Reply With Quote
ecsmom's Avatar
ecsmom ecsmom is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,423
Senior Member

ecsmom
 
ecsmom's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,423
Senior Member

Old 12-20-2013, 04:44 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

Wow! Are they going to press charges against the room mother for theft?
ecsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
SusanTeach's Avatar
SusanTeach SusanTeach is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 16,644
Senior Member

SusanTeach
 
SusanTeach's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 16,644
Senior Member
gifts
Old 12-20-2013, 04:57 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

I feel so bad for her. The lack of gifts wouldn't be my biggest concern. The fact that the kids COMPLAINED about the gifts she gave them is what saddens me. Gifts shouldn't be expected - shame on them for thinking so. I give my students a homework pass and a candy cane - that's it.

I also don't understand being out money for the class. Can she not ask for donations for the party (one bring drinks, another cookies, etc…)? That's what I do. Whatever we get from the parents is what we have at the party. I don't spend my own money on it.

Not much you can do other than reassure her that the great thing about teaching is that every year you get a new group of students and parents. Some years are better than others.
SusanTeach is offline   Reply With Quote
teachnkids's Avatar
teachnkids teachnkids is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 25,865
Senior Member

teachnkids
 
teachnkids's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 25,865
Senior Member

Old 12-20-2013, 05:24 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #20

Quote:
. They gave the room mother money for a gift card. All the kids gave what they could afford $1-$10 each. The parents are mad because she didn't thank them or even comment to the kids. She NEVER received it. The room mother also collected money to help her (the teacher) purchase the students' gift.
While this is terrible, and needs to be addressed with admin I am still really bothered by the kids and parents not appreciating the two books the kids received. TACKY AND DISRESPECTFUL!!!
teachnkids is offline   Reply With Quote
School Time's Avatar
School Time School Time is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,575
Senior Member

School Time
 
School Time's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,575
Senior Member
One year they forget to send the class gift
Old 12-20-2013, 07:22 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #21

One year I knew there was a collection but I didn't get anything. They forgot to give it to the child. I eventually got it. Maybe she will get it after break.
School Time is offline   Reply With Quote
AndSoItIs's Avatar
AndSoItIs AndSoItIs is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,372
Senior Member

AndSoItIs
 
AndSoItIs's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,372
Senior Member
So sad for your teacher friend
Old 12-20-2013, 07:41 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #22

Honestly, I would cry as well if that happened to me. She spent her own $ on the party and provided (in my opinion) great gifts for the kids. I was fuming when I read how the parents and kids felt the party/gifts weren't good enough. How incredibly rude!

I don't understand why the teacher couldn't assign party items for the parents to provide. I've done this for every class party. I don't buy food/paper products. If your school isn't low income, why couldn't the parents contribute items?

I hope the room mom is confronted and an apology is given to this teacher.
AndSoItIs is offline   Reply With Quote
crockpotqueen crockpotqueen is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,555
Senior Member

crockpotqueen
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,555
Senior Member
Gifts
Old 12-21-2013, 04:00 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #23

Wow! This is crazy! She gave two books to every kid and they want more? They actually complained?? She gave them a party all on her own...and they want more? Sounds like the kids and parents are spoiled and ungrateful.



This year, I'm out of the classroom (specialist) so I didn't get much either, but I didn't really expect anything so, that's ok.
crockpotqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
funkster funkster is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 7,699
Senior Member

funkster
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 7,699
Senior Member
I have found
Old 12-21-2013, 06:50 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #24

that the gifts that I receive depends more on what homeroom moms I have than on what kind of teacher I am. I do not change my teaching skills from year to year, but the gifts do change. Some years I just have to laugh, even though there are always a few parents that send in some inexpensive but well thought out gifts. I like that fact that a few parents spend time writing a note to me thanking me for my work with their children.

As to complaining about the gifts-What a bunch of spoiled rude people, children and adults. Wow, I would certainly consider giving to a local shelter, food pantry or charity and handing out notes that explain that a donation was given in the class's name. Spoiled brats-the parents and kids both.
funkster is offline   Reply With Quote
StoneSoup's Avatar
StoneSoup StoneSoup is offline
 
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 946
Senior Member

StoneSoup
 
StoneSoup's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 946
Senior Member
How sad!
Old 12-21-2013, 11:24 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #25

I would also feel terrible if I received nothing, but I don't expect much. I only received a few gifts, mostly homemade items. One of my favorite gifts this year is a stuffed pink flamingo. It has a hole in it and half the stuffing is gone. It was given to me by a student whose going through a bad patch both at home and in school. His face was so proud when he gave it to me.
I am glad I don't have her students. I gave my reading students 2 almost new books. They were so excited and actually started to read them right away. I gave my homeroom students a choice between 2 books. They were also excited and remembered to say thank you. (Our school is moving to a new building next year. I am also being told I will be switching to reading mastery. I need to get rid of some of my multiple books that I've used with my high level readers.)
I don't understand why more parents don't teach their child proper thank you procedures. It seems like every year, I have to teach more and more students how to say "Thank you" or "No, "thank you".
I am glad they found out the students hadn't really forgot her or purposely not get her something.
StoneSoup is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:58 AM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net