My "team"....sorry so long. - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

My "team"....sorry so long.

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
SweetTea SweetTea is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member

SweetTea
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member
My "team"....sorry so long.
Old 05-20-2018, 07:45 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

I have taught several years in the same grade with great reviews and relationships in my old district. I was a mentor teacher and teacher leader while there. I went to a new school district this year (same grade) and thought it was going to be a positive change and a new challenge.

After the first few weeks things went south. The "team" has been very difficult to say the least. Every idea I shared was dismissed or mocked. One of them made fun of my anchor charts...because they included student writing, the same person told me that my math vocabulary wall was unnecessary. (I wanted to say...thanks but no thanks for your advice, but I kept my mouth shut). These are just a few examples.

At Christmas, I gave them small gifts....expo markers and some things to use in their classroom. One stopped by and thanked me for her bag of junk! Another gave out gifts...mine had a tag for another person from the "team" that said "come to my room for your other gift" on the back of the tag. They didn't realize it until after they gave it to me. Ha... You should have seen their faces when they realized their mistake. It was priceless.

It gets better. One teacher in the team had a preservice teacher. She introduced me to her as the data girl...I must have looked puzzled when I asked her to repeat what she called me. She was shocked that she slipped. I realized that this is what they call me behind my back because I keep data sheets for my students to help guide instruction.

They have meetings without including me and make schedule changes without telling me. Not just once, but weekly. When I ask about being included, they say that they thought they told me. It has been a year of guesswork and frustration.

I am assertive and not a pushover, but by November, I knew that I could not and would not remain in this environment. I need a team and people who believe in me and visa versa. Here I am, a professional being what I consider bullied by peers. So sad.

I was going to quit at Christmas, but I felt a connection to my students and could not do that to them. It has been hard, but I am almost done!! The positive is I have grown as a person....the negative is the high level of stress from their behaviors.

Due to enrollment I was going to be placed in another grade level next year The administration could not tell me where until the end of May. One of the most nosy ones kept badgering me about what I was going to do. I told her I would wait it out. Like what could I do until they told me?
She sent me some job ads from another school! Nice!

Well, I have secured another job (I told admin and they understood) and I am seriously thinking of not saying goodbye. It makes me sad to think that the very things we teach our students they should not do, have happened to me all year long.

I'd like to tell the admin about it, but since I am on the way out, it likely won't matter. I did not tattle or complain to them at all this year because I didn't want to come across as a whiner.


When I moved into the classroom last fall, the janitor told me that no one ever stayed in that room more than a year or two....and now I think I know why.

So my positive take away from this will be to NEVER make someone feel the way I have felt or be treated the way I have been treated.

Thanks for listening.


SweetTea is offline   Reply With Quote

ElemSped13 ElemSped13 is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 594
Senior Member

ElemSped13
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 594
Senior Member

Old 05-20-2018, 08:04 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

Wow, Iím so sorry that happened to you and am glad to hear you are getting out. Interesting that even staff knows whatís up. Iím surprised admin hasnít caught on to break up the mean girls. I hope you have a better year at your new school.

I wouldnít say goodbye and Iíd secretly hope that one of them is moved to a different grade level just to shake them up.
ElemSped13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Haley23 Haley23 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,300
Senior Member

Haley23
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,300
Senior Member

Old 05-20-2018, 08:11 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

I'm sorry you had a rough year with a bad team. I've always thought being on a bad team would be the worst because those are the people you're expected to work with all of the time.

If it were me, I might be tempted to say something passive aggressive like thanking them for including me and how much I'll miss being part of such a cohesive team. Not recommending, just probably what I'd do . I don't think you have to say goodbye if you don't want to.

Will you be doing an exit interview? I know there are mixed opinions on these and some feel that you should still remain 100% positive, but I disagree. I definitely wouldn't bash anyone or go on and on, but I'd mention that I felt I needed to leave because I was never welcomed as part of the team, and that this seems to be an ongoing issue that probably should be addressed. It's highly possible admin already knows this and just refuses to do anything about it, but if it were me I'd want to at least feel like I did something to try and support the poor teacher who ends up in that position next year.

Enjoy your new position. I hope next year is great!
Haley23 is online now   Reply With Quote
whiteturtle's Avatar
whiteturtle whiteturtle is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 615
Senior Member

whiteturtle
 
whiteturtle's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 615
Senior Member

Old 05-21-2018, 03:21 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

A difficult team is hard to deal with. Mine is hard but yours sounds dreadful. I learned over the years that I am not the only one who knows about my team being difficult. Admin likely knows they are jerks. People who've had to work directly with them know.

I would leave and not look back. I would not go out of my way to say goodbye.

Best wishes in you're new school. You sound like a teacher I would like to work with.
whiteturtle is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is online now
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 14,442
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 14,442
Senior Member

Old 05-21-2018, 04:42 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

I have seen this happen to a few teachers in my career. If it we're me I would secure the next job and then send a summary of the experience to management. Since this poor behavior has been going on for awhile ,the principal has not caught on or is allowing it. I would speak up to someone about it. Congrats on getting out of such a toxic place.


anna is online now   Reply With Quote
Renea's Avatar
Renea Renea is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 12,333
Senior Member

Renea
 
Renea's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 12,333
Senior Member

Old 05-21-2018, 04:45 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

You have no reason to tell your team goodbye. I wouldnít stomp out the door angry but rather simply quietly leave as if theyíre not important.

If you have an exit interview you might make a few subtle comments about hoping your team finds someone they can work and plan with next year because excluding a team member places a great disadvantage on the grade level.

Itís so wonderful that you have a new job to look forward to next year. You sound like a mature teacher and have gained so much wisdom this past year. I have a feeling that youíll be very successful.
Renea is offline   Reply With Quote
TeachNFriend TeachNFriend is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 584
Senior Member

TeachNFriend
 
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 584
Senior Member
SweetTea
Old 05-21-2018, 06:04 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

I am so sorry for the awful year youíve had!

I am so glad you were able to get out. I canít believe how nasty they were. It makes the passive aggressive clique Iíve been dealing with sound like sweethearts.

The idea that adults in the nurturing profession we are in can be so cruel is heartbreaking.

I wish you all the best in your new position. I hope you find an actual ďteamĒ.
TeachNFriend is offline   Reply With Quote
Keltikmom's Avatar
Keltikmom Keltikmom is online now
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 10,841
Senior Member

Keltikmom
 
Keltikmom's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 10,841
Senior Member
Team
Old 05-21-2018, 06:35 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

I so dislike hearing these stories of mean girls and nasty teams.

Personally, as my last act before I walk out the door, I would call them out. Just briefly state how unwelcoming and disrespectful they were.

And then pray the next person is an absolute dragon!
Keltikmom is online now   Reply With Quote
SweetTea SweetTea is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member

SweetTea
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member
Thanks everyone...
Old 05-21-2018, 10:10 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

I appreciate your kind words and advice. Just as a side note the P here is new as well...so I believe there will be some changes. I think they see it as well as others. I am not hanging around to find out though!

Have an awesome summer break....I plan to do the same. Now to start packing up my room....5 student days left.
SweetTea is offline   Reply With Quote
d0rkablex2 d0rkablex2 is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 73
Junior Member

d0rkablex2
 
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 73
Junior Member
me too
Old 05-21-2018, 04:28 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

A few years ago I was on an extremely toxic and mean girl central team to the point where it was affecting my mental health by the end of the year. The teachers on my team were absolutely hateful and it got to the point where they were not only screwing ME over regularly, but also screwing over my STUDENTS, which infuriated me. We were a self-contained special education program, and each room had a different grade level. The program would do activities together regularly like field trips and Special Olympics practice. I couldn't keep quiet and roll with the abuse when they "forgot" to include my class in the school-wide Special Olympics practice schedule AND didn't even bother to tell me about it until it was almost too late for my kids to practice at all before the event. (This was 2.5 years ago and I still get all fired up when I think about how heinous this team was!!!!)

When I told my principal exactly why I was leaving in my resignation letter, he ran and told all of the teachers in the ENTIRE SCHOOL that I might sue the district and they were no longer allowed to communicate with me or about me. Good grief.


d0rkablex2 is offline   Reply With Quote
tia's Avatar
tia tia is online now
 
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 8,321
Blog Entries: 6
Senior Member

tia
 
tia's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 8,321
Senior Member
i guess i'm the only one that feels this way.
Old 05-21-2018, 04:50 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

i firmly believe that such behavior needs to be called out---because they need to know you recognize it as bullying and perhaps, there might be a change.

i would write a letter that detailed the behaviors that were disrespectful and point out how that is not tolerated when students act that way. wish them well in their new teammate and encourage them to be accepting and welcoming.

i would also leave a letter with the P, detailing all the positive things about the school as well as explaining how it was not difficult to leave this team. they need to change!

good luck next year! you sound like a strong teacher--would love to work with you.
tia is online now   Reply With Quote
apple annie's Avatar
apple annie apple annie is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,181
Senior Member

apple annie
 
apple annie's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,181
Senior Member

Old 05-21-2018, 08:38 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

Congrats and best wishes on your next job! Enjoy your last few days with your students. Focus on them and don't worry about a problem that has now been solved - at least for you.
apple annie is offline   Reply With Quote
Gr8Profession Gr8Profession is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 905
Senior Member

Gr8Profession
 
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 905
Senior Member
I'm sorry you had this year.
Old 05-22-2018, 07:02 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

That kind of behavior is unacceptable -- but clearly it happens more often than we'd care to admit.

I worked with a team of mean girls one year. They were nasty to me and even nastier to one of the veteran teachers who had been on their team for years. The specials teachers and other grade level teams would tell me they pitied anyone on that team. When I resigned at the end of the year, the principal and assistant principal asked me to please stay. I decided that was my chance to tell them why I was leaving. Now I regret saying anything.

I happen to know the person who replaced me. She told me that when she was hired the assistant principal told her they needed someone new to teaching so that the team could mold her and she would fit in. Seriously? That was the way to deal with all the ugliness?

I suggest you leave with your head held high. The principal has to know what is going on and is choosing to ignore the behavior. You aren't the first person to leave.
Gr8Profession is offline   Reply With Quote
NJ Teacher's Avatar
NJ Teacher NJ Teacher is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,749
Senior Member

NJ Teacher
 
NJ Teacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,749
Senior Member
Wow...
Old 05-22-2018, 01:18 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

Congratulations on your new position. What a toxic environment you are leaving behind. And thank goodness for THAT. It seems like those people were jealous, behind the times, and very rude and low class. That school is losing a terrific teacher because of their actions, and if the principal "understood", hopefully, steps will be taken to ensure that it happens to no one else joining their team. The sad thing is that even with their rude and childish behavior, their actions continued. Good for you for finding another opportunity. Life is too short to put up with that kind of treatment, and you were clearly outnumbered. Good luck to you.
NJ Teacher is offline   Reply With Quote
Tori58 Tori58 is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,158
Senior Member

Tori58
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,158
Senior Member
Wow.
Old 05-22-2018, 01:22 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

This board has been an eye-opener for me. I thought I was probably fairly unique in having to deal with "mean girl" coworkers. I'm not sure if it makes me feel better or worse that so many people have had similar experiences. Do you suppose that people in all professions have to deal with coworkers who act like they're in middle school or is this something unique to teachers? I know I have sometimes watched how colleagues behaved and wondered whether they were trying to relive or rewrite their own school experience.
Tori58 is offline   Reply With Quote
bubblesfonta bubblesfonta is offline
 
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 4
New Member

bubblesfonta
 
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 4
New Member
I agree!!!
Old 05-22-2018, 07:11 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

Walking out without speaking your mind is letting them off too easy. Think about how they will treat the next person, it has to stop somewhere. Knowing your true feeling might make one of them change or at the very least make administrators start to wonder why no one stays in the position for long. I am so happy for you that you made a change and got out of that toxic environment. I don't visit my teachers lounge anymore because it sounds like high school in there. Good for you! You made the right choice!
bubblesfonta is offline   Reply With Quote
SweetTea SweetTea is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member

SweetTea
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member
Mean girls are likely everywhere....
Old 05-23-2018, 01:38 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

In all professions/jobs ia my guess. I have worked with people who have an edge....but never like this bunch. Maybe I should have confronted them early on, but I have worked hard to be professional because it was my first year here and all.

I appreciate your kind words and great advice. So many of you sound like wonderful people with which to work and give me hope that next year is going to be a good one!

Best wishes to all and have a wonderful summer break. I started packing today...feels like freedom is around the corner!
SweetTea is offline   Reply With Quote
SweetTea SweetTea is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member

SweetTea
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 640
Senior Member
Thanks....
Old 05-23-2018, 05:36 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

Your post gives me hope that my new job will be better. Have a great summer!
SweetTea is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:12 PM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net