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How to tell mom...
Old 07-26-2020, 05:01 PM
  #1

So, my parents are 67 and very "old school". They live like 5 minutes away and I talk to them every day and see them very often (outside right now only due to covid). So, how do i break it to mom about my new body art? I'm 43 and she will still freak out I guarantee. Like, I'm legit scared of telling her.


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Old 07-26-2020, 05:09 PM
  #2

My daughter doesn't tell me about her tattoos. She just shows up in clothes that reveal them.
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Well,
Old 07-26-2020, 05:10 PM
  #3

I'm one of those "old school" moms near the age (not quite) of your mom. I am willing to bet that your mom is not going to freak out as much as you think. We tend to grow up believing our parents would not approve of many things we do, when in reality, it's not that big a deal once you grow up and out of our homes. I mean, you're not a little kid anymore.
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Old 07-26-2020, 05:14 PM
  #4

This is true. I really just don't want to hear the "I thought I raised you better than that!" She judged when I let my daughter dye her hair fun colors in the summer during middle school, and she judged in high school when I let her get a cartilage piercing in the top part of her ear. It's like she expects me to be the same level of conservative they are which I am not.
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Tattoo
Old 07-26-2020, 05:15 PM
  #5

Tell her and deal with the consequences. Or don’t tell her and wait until she notices, if ever.

My newest mantra, thanks to a much, much younger friend, is: you’re a grown a** woman, you can do what you want.


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Old 07-26-2020, 05:17 PM
  #6

She'll definitely notice the first time she sees me if I'm wearing shorts. I am in fact a grown ass woman.
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Old 07-26-2020, 05:23 PM
  #7

My 60-something mom was fine. One of my aunts tried to hassle me about it, though - I just smiled and said she didn't have to get one.
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Old 07-26-2020, 05:24 PM
  #8

Well, speaking as someone who is five years younger than your mom, I can say that it took me a while to understand that tattoos don't carry the same implications and consequences that they did when I was young. I wasn't sure what I thought about my daughter's first tattoo (although I didn't deliver a lecture about it) and guess what? A decade later I got a tattoo myself.

And, while I was chatting with my tattoo artist, he talked about how his parents (teachers, both of them) were horrified when he dropped out of college to become a tattoo artist. Eight years later, when they realized he was making more money than they did, their attitude changed.

Sometimes it just takes time.
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Old 07-26-2020, 06:00 PM
  #9

I'm about your mom's age. There's nothing conservative about me except I don't like tattoos. So I don't have any. You're a grown woman. You chose to get one. Your adult choice.

I didn't freak out over the tattoo my son got in college. I did tell him I didn't personally like it and I wanted the money back he owed me since I wasn't paying for a tattoo.

You're much older than my son was. Your mom doesn't have to like it and you don't have to care. I doubt she'll freak out. Just say you like it and change the subject. Don't let her escalate. Your body, your choice to tattoo.
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Old 07-26-2020, 06:19 PM
  #10

My dad told me to scrub mine off as it was upsetting my mother.


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Old 07-26-2020, 06:23 PM
  #11

I am 67. I have a tattoo. You might be surprised. Your parents grew up in the 60s...what do you think was going on in those days? Although tattoos were not a thing then, your parents didn’t just fall off the turnip cart. Even if they don’t like it, they’ll get over it. They’ve seen worse. It’s only skin...
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Old 07-26-2020, 08:27 PM
  #12

I remember telling my kids if they got tattoos to put them where I wouldn't see them. Growing up only ex-navy guys had tattoos and the carnival workers. Now everyone has them. Not sure if my kids ever got them.
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Old 07-26-2020, 09:00 PM
  #13

Don’t.

I wore clothes that concealed mine for almost two years before my mom saw the first one. She saw it peep out from under my sleeve at church. She cried. She also says I took years off her life. She doesn’t know where she went wrong raising me. She says dad would be so disappointed. She still doesn’t look directly at them, and she hates them with a burning passion.

I was 43 when I got my first one, but I was still terrified of my 5’2” mom finding out. Now, if my grandmother (4’10”) had seen them, she’d have flat smacked them right off me. She was feisty. I’m careful with mom. Same gene pool after all.

Therefore, I don’t tell her when I get them.
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Old 07-26-2020, 10:06 PM
  #14

That's funny! I'm glad I'm not the only one who is nervous about telling my mom certain things!
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Old 07-27-2020, 05:09 AM
  #15

Quote:
Therefore, I don’t tell her when I get them.
I prefer not to know when my adult children make what I consider to be unwise decisions.

If you know your mom wouldn’t like your tattoo, wear pants or lightweight yoga pants or a skirt and boots around her. You’re an adult and can do what you want; she’s an adult and is entitled to her opinion. Why intentionally rock the boat? It really is all about respect. You’re not a teenager needing to flaunt your independence. Maybe your mom feels the same way I do when it comes to adult children: their decisions are none of my business—I want them to be happy, and they don’t need to “confess” to me when they make a decision they know I wouldn’t make. Ignorance really is bliss.

Colin O’Farrelll is having his tattoos removed. Since I heard it on the news, his mom probably knows.
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Old 07-27-2020, 05:31 AM
  #16

My dad is OK with my two small tattoos. I know my cousin’s mom cried when she got hers .
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I’m your mom’s age
Old 07-27-2020, 06:29 AM
  #17

My 3 adult kids have tattoos and I hate them. They never asked for my permission but I did give them my opinion after the fact. I don’t understand putting you body in pain in purpose. Why did I even kiss their booboos when they were little? My son was so pleased with a tattoo dedicated to his grandfather and my dad hated tattoos also. My youngest DD is covered with tattoos and now has discovered she has psoriasis.
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Old 07-27-2020, 06:34 AM
  #18

I still worry about my mom’s reaction to some of my clothing choices and I’m in my 50’s, so I get it! Hope it goes better than expected!
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Old 07-27-2020, 07:07 AM
  #19

Quote:
Colin O’Farrelll is having his tattoos removed. Since I heard it on the news, his mom probably knows.
One of the tattoos he had removed was a heart with his mother's name. He's said that none of his tattoos were important enough to him to get up 45 minutes earlier and spend more time in makeup to get them covered up. I don't think that would make me feel especially overjoyed if I was his mother.

That being said, I think people should definitely put some thought into why they want a tattoo and how they're going to feel about it in the future. When my daughter was a teenager, parents could give consent for a tattoo but I wouldn't do it. I told her that I didn't want her coming back to me 20 years later asking me why I didn't keep her from doing it. When she got her first tattoo, at age 18, she knew what it meant and why she wanted it and, honestly, it was beautiful.

These days no one can get a tattoo in this state if they're under 18, even if their parents are willing to give consent.

One of my aunts was pretty critical when I got my tattoo but, at 50, I really didn't give a you-know-what. I was just grateful that her granddaughter already had several tattoos so she couldn't blame them on my influence (like she did everything her children did that she didn't like.)
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Old 07-27-2020, 08:10 AM
  #20

I would just let her know or as someone said, wear something so she sees it. My dd got her first tattoo at 18 while on an adventure in S. Africa Then she got another one and another one and another one that has words written across her arm. The other day she told me she's ready for another one. I'm close to your mom's age (62) and seriously as long as it's done in a safe and clean place I'm okay with it.
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Old 07-27-2020, 08:52 AM
  #21

I am Jewish, and technically we aren't supposed to get tattoos. I got a couple in college. I lived at home with my parents til I was in my 40s. 20 years went by and they never knew about them. (We didn't have a pool so they never saw me in a bathing suit, which would show the tattoos.) One day mom and I were talking and she figured out that I had tattoos.
My dad wanted us to take a little mini vacay, and I decided to tell him about the tattoos. My mom told me he'd just die and be so disappointed, please don't tell him. Well, it ended up being a big scene. With all the hemming and hawing, he pretty much thought I was pregnant or something really big.

He told me he didn't like it but it was what it was. He just wanted me to assure him that I wouldn't show up with "sleeves" on my arms!
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Sleeves...
Old 07-27-2020, 12:30 PM
  #22

No worry of that here! lmao. The pain level on this one was enough to make me not want a giant one. I may get another one when I have grand kids to put in.

I made up my mind that I´m going to just not say anything until my dd next soccer tournament (the weekend of the 7th) and she´ll see it then. It will be public so she can´t make too much of a scene.
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Old 07-27-2020, 01:41 PM
  #23

I was in my early 30's when I got one on my foot. Late 30's when I got one on my toe. I was worried about my mom's reaction too. I never wore sandals around her for a long time. Then I finally did and she rolled her eyes. I was really surprised it wasn't worse. She turns 70 this year and tattoos are not her thing. My Ds has our last name down his ribs, a metal motor cycle helmet on his upper arm, and "your name" on his butt check. Each tattoo he got my mom would say his name and say no more. He always told me he was going to get a sleeve and I said as long as you have a job and it's done in a safe place I have no problem with it. He hasn't had a new on in 8 years so I am sure he's probably done. He used to tell me he was going to get his nipples pierced and I would freak out. I could care less about the piercing but worry that it may somehow cause breast cancer. He hasn't done that yet either. DD and Dh neither one have any. DH has one drawn up and I always tease him that he is too afraid of him mom!
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