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Some days
Old 12-21-2013, 03:30 AM
 
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I can't imagine what it would actually be like to a have life! I work, eat, sleep, occasionally clean my house. My DH refuses to travel, we have no couple friends or hobbies. Thank God for my job!

Thanks for attending my pity party.


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Boring..fuddy duddy
Old 12-21-2013, 03:47 AM
 
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Yep. My life is like that too. Weekends are not something to look forward to because if all the laundry! I have no friends to go out with. Maybe it will change when the kids are older...or maybe I need a dog.
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Find enjoyment where you can
Old 12-21-2013, 03:50 AM
 
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Can I join the pity party? I totally understand. It is 6:30 in the morning on the first day of my Holiday Break, and here I am looking for social contact! I am also having a near-panic attack over how messy my house is....just in case we wind-up with company (but there really isn't anyone.) The only thing I've done for Christmas is decorate a tree, which my mother (who lives next door) kindly made me feel awful for leaving the lights on while we were away from home yesterday evening (nothing social or fun....daughter's doctors appointment). I'm sorry if I just hi-jacked your post....I do think there are a lot of us teachers that have a difficult time adjusting to time home for the holidays and realizing it is not the way you pictured it in your head and having little control to change it....especially after having so much control over what we do for our students. Deep breath....find enjoyment where you can.
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Makes me crazy
Old 12-21-2013, 05:45 AM
 
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To hear about my colleagues and their jaunts to Chicago, trips to Disney, snowmobiling with their husbands. I watch TV. Alone. My DH lives in his office watching sci.fi drinking beer and gun shopping for his business. All my children are pretty much grown. They are all going to Chicago today!

Last edited by r9miles; 12-21-2013 at 06:15 AM.. Reason: Snoobing isn't a word
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Old 12-21-2013, 06:21 AM
 
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You have to make your own fun, with or without dh. Join a book club, find a craft store that teaches classes, get monthly massages or pedicures. Find something to look forward to. If dh is into guns then learn to shoot and do target shooting somewhere. After that make him take you to dinner. Does your area have any interesting community classes?

My life completely transformed when I started going to yoga and took knitting classes. Over the years I have made true friends in both places.

As far as couple friends go.... We have had no luck there. We tried doing things with my sister and her husband but my sister was always cranky and had to be in control. Won't try that again.

Next time your kids do something fun find a way to get yourself invited. You should be having fun too. Once you start enjoying life I bet your dh will want to join you sometimes.


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Guys, guys, guys....
Old 12-21-2013, 06:26 AM
 
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So sorry you feel so bad. This time of year is the pits! We are forced to slow down and face whatever bad feelings we have had to stuff down since the demands of our profession won't allow us to feel them the rest of the time.
DH is a truck driver--never home. And I am housebound with a child who is older but not old enough to be left alone. He gripes constantly when we need to go anywhere. Calling a sitter isn't so easy. He and grandma don't get along.
Here's what is working for me right now: I find friends on my own. My current circle is one married couple and their kids, one gay couple, and me and my kid. It works. We also volunteer at an animal shelter and went to a rockin' party for that a few weeks ago. I went to a church program for Christmas this week (I am not usually a church person). I bought tickets for A Christmas Carol for tomorrow. My mom went to Fla. for the holidays so Christmas won't be so special--just us and DH. Then I am sending kiddo to the Rec. Center for a few days of childcare so I can do things on my own.
I may be in deep depression by the 6th, but maybe this year, my plans will work!
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Ps
Old 12-21-2013, 06:27 AM
 
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I want to add, that a problem I have is that I forget that fun has value. It is how I "fill my well" so that I can do all the other work that I have to.
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Agree
Old 12-21-2013, 07:13 AM
 
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I have no life either. I'm single and spend most of my free time sitting at home with my dogs (thank goodness for them so I have someone to talk to and interact with). I just moved to the area last year and it's a small community. My co-workers are married with children, so I don't really fit in with them. I guess it's a good thing I'm an introvert, though it would be nice to have a life at times. Thank goodness for ProTeacher, so I can at least have some social interactions when not at work.
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What is fun?
Old 12-21-2013, 07:34 AM
 
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I don't remember what fun is. Things that used to be fun don't seem appealing now. I'd love to hear more suggestions.
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Old 12-21-2013, 08:27 AM
 
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Volunteer, read a good book, getting a dog is a lot of responsibility but if you do have the time (this includes after the break lol) it is worth it. Now is the time to discover your hobby, like crocheting for instance. You can take craft classes at your local library. Its a way to get out and make friends outside of work. Real friends.


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Honestly
Old 12-21-2013, 09:11 AM
 
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I have more friends than I can keep up with but I hate having a separate life from DH. Plus if I get too involved and busy then I miss him and he starts to get moody too. He always says we have to start doing things together but never does anything. He obliges if I plan something but the enthusiasm is completely missing. I guess I just continue to try to have a life separate from him but for me that is greatly unfulfilling. I married him because I really like him and want to be with him not doing things with others.

It seems to me like a no win situation so periodically I throw these pity parties and I really value all of your attendance

Probably planning another one around New Years when I am up alone as he will be sound asleep by 10.
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Your Turn
Old 12-21-2013, 09:28 AM
 
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Someone wiser than me once said that boredom is self-imposed. I am not sure if that is entirely true, but as teachers, we give, and give, and give-except to ourselves, and soon we have forgotten how to be good to ourselves. Because we haven't kept up with us, we sink into lethargy. Another thing that is true about us is that we love to learn. So...give to yourself and learn something new. Do something you've never done before. Go somewhere you haven't been. It doesn't have to be far, and it doesn't have to be expensive. As you begin to be better to yourself, your mood will lift, and DH may sit up and take notice. However, don't make that your goal. Make you the goal. In my forties, I felt like you do now. It took awhile to find my way back, but truly, it can be done. These are lessons a very wise lady taught me. Be good to yourself. You matter.
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May I suggest you
Old 12-21-2013, 09:36 AM
 
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To WIBadger Fan: Use those animals! Walk with them regularly. Volunteer in an animal shelter. You will find people there who love animals like you do. If you have time, join a dog rescue relay team. That will get you out of the house! You matter!
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Old 12-21-2013, 09:36 AM
 
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I used to be part of that same pity party. Until I took and adult jazz dance class at the same studio my daughters dance at. It has changed my life. I found a group of friends. We started having so much fun on our yearly out of town competitions that our husbands got jealous so they started( willingly) going with us, and now we have a large group of couple friends.
I decided I wasn't going to let my fuddy duddy homebody husband dictate my happiness.
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I could have written this post
Old 12-21-2013, 09:55 AM
 
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I could have written this post!! This is exactly how I am feeling We tried the couple thing as well and it has been a disaster. I am feeling sorry for myself and maybe it is this time of year which I love but get really emotional.
It is nice to be off for 2 weeks what other jobs give you that.
At work even though I am a friendly person I can't seem to connect. Let's all try to to enjoy the time off and have a Happy Holiday
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Old 12-21-2013, 11:35 AM
 
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Thanks Literata. I think what I am struggling with the most is that I moved from a fairly large city, to a small town. There's not much to do here. Even the closest animal shelter is 30 minutes away. You're right though, I do need to get out more and at least make an attempt to meet people.
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Old 12-21-2013, 02:18 PM
 
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have helped me! I understand what you are saying about having a life outside of school. I think it is hard for teachers because our job of teaching is physically and MENTALLY exhausting! I agree with the suggestions about finding activities to participate in outside of school. My husband is a big sports fan. I have learned to enjoy watching them as well! It took a while for this to happen. I do hope that you find a way to fill your time in a good way so that you can enjoy your free time!
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Old 12-22-2013, 06:35 AM
 
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Can I join too? H moved out, so there go the "couple friends". I have no single friends to talk to or hang out with. I don't travel anymore. Eat, sleep, work, clean, watch tv - not very exciting.
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