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Parents this year and every year...gets worse.

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Parents this year and every year...gets worse.
Old 09-28-2021, 09:28 AM
 
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Hello PT,

It seems to me that as I started teaching 16 years ago, parents seems to get more demanding or I'm being less tolerable of their demands, or both.

However, I seems to have petty complaints about parents, and carbon copying the principal as a way of let's get her in trouble, bully kinda thing...or tattle taling...I gather. If this makes sense at all.


On another note, I am home with COVID and now my AP is texting me to shed light as to why a parent wants a kid out of my room. Parents are divorce and I've had more contact with Dad than with mom. Supposedly mom wants her daughter out of my class...but have no idea why. Waiting for the principal and AP to call me.

I feel awful at all times, I can barely look at these kids, or say anything at all without getting in trouble lately. I've had my share of complaints in the last few years, petty ones, but I feel this world is getting crazier and the parents are worse...or is it me?


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Old 09-28-2021, 09:45 AM
 
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I've had parent issues, but for me it's admin issues. I went over a decade without admin issues. Now I can't breathe without an administrator having a problem with it. At first I chalked it up to being a union rep and pushing back on her and some of her ridiculousness, but now I have to think it's me. I'm sorry, we don't need added stress added to our plates and admin/parent issues is certainly added stress.
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parents
Old 09-28-2021, 10:26 AM
 
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I'm retired now (thank goodness!) but what I hear from friends and family is that it is worse. Social media has taught people that they are entitled to whatever they want and if there's any resistance just be as loud and obnoxious and threatening as possible. Add to that a general decline in respect for authority and expertise and a couple of years of chaos/uncertainty and you've got the perfect conditions for constant adversarial situations.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this while sick. Know that there is no one who can please everyone, especially these days.
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overinvolved vs underinvolved
Old 09-28-2021, 11:21 AM
 
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Quote:
now my AP is texting me to shed light as to why a parent wants a kid out of my room. Parents are divorce and I've had more contact with Dad than with mom. Supposedly mom wants her daughter out of my class...but have no idea why.
I wonder if the "problem" is that you've been having all that contact with Dad. Perhaps Mom thinks that you've been too sympathetic to Dad's concerns. Or she doesn't want Dad involved at all.

Sometimes when I read all the parent concerns, I think about my own teaching career. I retired 4 years ago after over 25 years teaching pregnant and parenting teens. My problem, almost always, was that the parents were not at all involved in their daughters' education. What's needed is balance between overinvolved and underinvolved. Neither one produces good results.

In the meantime, learn, I hope that you are not having serious issues with COVID. Get better--and if you are not up to dealing with school issues while you are out sick, just don't. Your first priority right now is your own health.
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Thank you to everyone...
Old 09-28-2021, 11:38 AM
 
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for some reason I have no symptoms...I am also fully vaccinated. However, it bothers me that my admin leaves me with this to worry all day like if it was my fault with no type of information.

Mom has never responded to any of my emails and I hear she is kinda wild.

I was out for a week that I got married/honeymoon and now for being positive for covid...unless this is the reason.

Have had no response or communications from either of these the mom or dad on this child being requested out of my room.

I wish I could leave this profession. It is a constant make you feel bad daily for working so hard and no real rewards or pat on the back. Frustrated.


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Old 09-28-2021, 11:55 AM
 
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Divorced parents. As soon as I read that I wondered if the divorce was, and they still are, high conflict or they are back in court over something. Even non custodial parents have FERPA rights unless there is documented evidence to the contrary.

Depending on if, and how, educational decision making is addressed in the custody order, the principal moving the child for whatever reason mom gives, may result in an angry dad contacting the principal.

Take care of yourself. Stop worrying about thus. Most likely the root of this issue has nothing to do with you.
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Old 09-28-2021, 12:02 PM
 
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Admin would give more peace information instead of weíll call you later .
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Old 09-28-2021, 02:04 PM
 
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So sorry you are having to deal with parents - especially when you are on sick-leave.
I retired from teaching in 2017. Parents were what finally "broke the camel's back". By the end of the year, I had one parent banned from the campus. Another parent took out a restraining order on a parent. It was nuts. I had a few tough students, but the parents are what finalized my decision.
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Parents are getting worse
Old 09-28-2021, 03:06 PM
 
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Kid complains about a lesson, Parent calls the school to complain.
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Old 09-28-2021, 03:38 PM
 
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Giving admin the benefit of the doubt- if a parent leaves a message for the p (like that one) our p often will ask us if we know why the parent is calling. That allows them to have a better response than "I will talk with the teacher."

There could be a multitude of reasons why a parent might want a child's room changed, starting with the teacher being out (for whatever reasons) "too often." It could be a bully situation, or maybe even something not related to school. Whatever the reason, you don't know and there isn't any reason to spend time thinking about it until you do. I am sure it is either of the above or something even less justifiable.

Parents can make a good year great or take an okay year the other direction. Who can tell?

Yes, they have gotten much more picky and vocal about things. It is one of the reasons why I left a GE classroom (and I still hear things from parents).


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Outsource Parenting
Old 09-29-2021, 09:17 AM
 
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*I agree with a PP who said social media has made parents feel like we should cater to their every whim. I call it "being their beck and call girl".

*They love to throw buzzwords around to get attention...bullying, trauma, etc.

*They would like to outsource parenting and have us do it.

I have/had some wonderful parents, but you're right...they can make or break a year. After 33 years, it will be the parents that make me decide to retire.
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Admin finally called me...
Old 09-29-2021, 01:12 PM
 
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It seems to me that this parent is lying and making up things in regards to me not having issues with her child. For example; she says I don't let her go to the bathroom, she hates coming to school...

Which none of the above is true. The mother has never emailed me about any issues, and I've never had the child not go to the bathroom at all. During snack time, they are free to go, before going to computer centers, they have to use the restroom, and in between lessons. They have to sign in a sheet only because last year I had issues with poop on the walls.

The student is a talker and at times is defiant, and coming from divorce parents, dad is strict but mom is very free to do what she wants to do.

I feel there are three parents whom are friends in my class and have made up simply lies to admin about issues with their children that I am not having. How do I prove or stop this?

Also, admin seemed very nice and on my side. However, I still don't know what they will do. I think they were going to call the mother and tell her my side of the story.
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Old 09-30-2021, 01:37 PM
 
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Quote:
call the mother and tell her my side of the story.
I'd be happier if administration had said tell the parent what actually happened.

That said, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I had this parent's twin one year. She called to complain that I waited to announce the lunch choice changes until her child was in the bathroom and her child missed her favorite hot lunch. She called to complain that I opened both the window and the door and it caused a breeze that made her child ill. And on it went.... It was a long year. But, with supportive administration, I survived. You will survive this.

(If the principal.suggests moving the child, jump for joy.)
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Old 09-30-2021, 09:18 PM
 
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Itís worse. Parents feel very entitled. I went through some hellish years with several parents like this in the last few years. This year isnít bad, other than a parent complaining that I show math videos as an intro to math lesson. One more year after this year, then Iím done!
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