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War stories...what are your best/funniest ones?

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War stories...what are your best/funniest ones?
Old 08-25-2021, 03:45 PM
 
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I responded to ICrazyTeach’s post about her dd starting a fire in the chem lab, and really wanted to tell a funny thing that happened in my lab one time...but I didn’t want to hijack her thread. But I realized that as a retiree, I could enjoy telling my “war stories”, knowing I did not have to go back “into battle” the next day. So, here for your reading pleasure, is my best chem lab fire story. Please share your favorite war stories below!

It was Scarlet Letter day in American Lit class. Each student had to create and wear a scarlet letter which stands for a secret fault. Many of my students that day wore their scarlet letters to class, and we had thoughtful conversations about their faults while they waited for water to boil for the lab.

At the end of class, I did a quick demonstration of a chemical reaction which produced a large quantity of smoke (no fire, though!) and set off the smoke alarms, requiring the building to be evacuated.

I appeared at the faculty meeting that afternoon wearing my own scarlet letter A for “arson”.


Tell me your stories!


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War stories
Old 08-25-2021, 05:08 PM
 
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I shut my school down and the Superintendent came to visit me!!

There was a big storm, all electricity went out, and I was teacher in charge. All the principals were in another city for a training. And none of them had cell phones. Everyone was asking me….what do we do? I said if there’s no electricity, there’s no heat, light or an ability for kitchen to make lunch, so I sent everyone home.

An hour later the superintendent came to my room and said “we need to talk. You shouldn’t have sent everyone home. We’re callling everyone to return.” As we walked and talked (and I knew her pretty well) it dawned on her:”oh…wait…you came from X school. It had no windows so if there was a power outage, everyone went home. You are forgiven.”

My response? “True. And none of the principals have cell phones so I couldn’t call and ask.”

Every principal had a cell phone the next week.

Apparently, it is still talked about at the district level.
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War stories
Old 08-25-2021, 10:00 PM
 
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One early morning three bags of chocolates (for Valentines Day treats) were missing from my classroom refrigerator at the large HS where I worked. I was angry and decided to fight back. There was no sign of a break in so I knew the thief had to be someone who had a key. I was determined to catch him or her! I did not want to be a sitting duck for future thefts.

My classroom had two doors so I convinced the night custodian whom I trusted to lend me some unused items including an old broom, a mop, and a plastic bucket. Together, we rigged a booby trap for anyone who would come in the doorway that was used most frequently. The night custodian and I then agreed to enter through the other door.

The very next morning the trap was activated by one of the day custodians who happened to be delivering a box of books to my room before school started. The broom, mop, and bucket all fell on him and even tore his shirt a bit. He was indignant and went directly to complain to the principal and anyone else who would listen. I think pretty much the whole school heard about it. I was actually glad he spread the word!

However, I was mortified that I had ensnared an innocent person so I bought him a six pack of his favorite sodas and a large bag of chips, and he was mollified. My principal thought the whole incident was hilarious. The end result was that no thief ever again took anything from my room. I later found out that one of the custodians who was not assigned to my area had a reputation for entering and stealing anything in the way of food. He had the master keys to every building but he never bothered my classroom again.

I wouldn’t recommend this course of action today but it did get the result I wanted.

Last edited by Ruby tunes; 08-26-2021 at 08:54 AM.. Reason: Spelling error
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Quite Embarrassing
Old 08-26-2021, 02:53 PM
 
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I taught third grade. At the end of each week, students received two WEB books (Wonderfully Exciting Books). Children read the two books aloud to an adult, and the adult asked pre-printed comprehension questions. Then the books were returned to me any day the following week, but definitely due by Friday.

The week of Thanksgiving, we only went to school on Monday and Tuesday. So I sent home WEB books for the following week that Tuesday afternoon. I went to school on Wednesday morning to take down November and decorate my room for December. What should I find behind a wooden bookshelf that I was dusting but two WEB books put there by one of my sneaky third graders!!

I finished decorating and spot cleaning my room. Then I went to the office to find the address of the sneaky third grader. His home was in a neighborhood that I knew, so after leaving school I located his home. When I drove into the driveway, the third grader, his mom, and his brother were raking leaves. The sneaky student ran into the house as soon as I got out of my car with those books in my hands. His mom wanted to know why I was there, and after I explained what I had found, she called him outside. He knew he was in trouble with his mom and me...to say the very least, he was red-faced, nervous, and silent!!

His mom now works as an instructional aide in my school. When she saw me on her first day as an aide, she retold this story and could hardly stop laughing. My sneaky student has now graduated from high school and is doing well in college.
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Old 08-27-2021, 08:59 AM
 
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I am loving all the stories!

As I was reflecting on my teaching career, I am reminded how I was surrounded by loving, caring and supportive co-workers that wanted this young teacher and others to succeed. I think of them often and know that I was blessed.
I have two short tales.
1. I had a lot of folder games to laminate and my scarf was caught inside the laminator. Luckily, the assistant principal was nearby had a pair of scissors and cut my scarf.
2. Another time I wore my favorite and much used sandals to school. The strap finally popped and my co-teacher had a pair of tennis shoes in her file cabinet. Those were the days that we were either the art or P.E. teacher.


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Old 08-27-2021, 12:01 PM
 
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I'll share two stories, the first from my years as a regular teacher and the second from more recent years as a sub.

I taught in a school about 30 years ago that had a lot of problems, and the administration left a lot to be desired. There was a storage room I needed to access at least once a week, but the key always seemed to be missing. The custodians were willing to help, but it always took time to find one. Another teacher who had a similar issue helped me solve the problem. She quietly took me aside and handed me a key. "Here, she said, go and have it copied."

I was flabbergasted. It was one of those keys that said, "Do not duplicate," and I wasn't aware of any key shop that would make a copy. She told me about one that did. Nervously I went and handed it over, and they made one with no questions asked.

Having my own key made life much easier, and nobody else knew my secret. A few years later I left that school (which later closed). I never did find out how the teacher who helped me happened to have her own key.
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About five years ago, I was subbing in a 4th grade classroom. It was a nice class, and we had just finished an article about robotics (or something similar). The kids were doing a worksheet, and we had a little extra time. I figured I'd find a short video on the subject, designed for kids, and knew the teacher wouldn't mind. While they were finishing, I found the perfect choice. It was about five minutes long, and because it was closed-captioned, I was able to preview it with the sound off. It appeared that nothing could go wrong.

What I didn't notice at first, but a couple students did, was a person in the background during one of the scenes. There was an impressive display of technology, and this person, clearly impressed, mouthed the words, "What the f...!" The words couldn't be heard, and everything went right by most of the class. A few amused students, though, decided to point it out to everyone at the end of the video. The majority looked completely confused. I realized that the offensive words had been mouthed, but decided to go into complete denial mode. I looked shocked, shook my head, and said I had no idea what they were talking about.

Nothing further was said. I had no idea that some of these kids were such excellent lip readers!

Last edited by c6g; 08-27-2021 at 12:28 PM..
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Old 08-27-2021, 06:13 PM
 
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Many year ago in my first teaching job, I was a freshman homeroom teacher. One of my responsibilities was to proofread report cards before they went out. The teacher for an "elective" class that met weekly had written a comment on Sandra's that she needed to participate more in class. Well, yes. Sandra was the only freshman not taking that class! Changes were made before that one went home.
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Old 08-27-2021, 08:51 PM
 
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Early in my career, in a parent conference for 2nd grade Harry, I told his father that I had referred him for Speech. He asked for specifics.
“He has trouble with his Rs,” I explained, “perhaps you’ve noticed he pronounces his name Hawwy.”
Harry’s dad slapped his hand down on the desk and exclaimed, “Damn, I knew I should have named him Bob.”
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Old 08-30-2021, 06:39 AM
 
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I taught second grade for the bulk of my career. We were learning about the olden days and how they did things like dyeing their own clothes using plants. So we decided to give it a try. I bought some purple cabbage and some unbleached muslin. We simmered it on a hot plate one Friday afternoon. To really get that color on the fabric we took it off the hot plate and let it soak in the kettle for the weekend. On Monday the custodian came to my room to tell me he had come in on Saturday to do a building check and smelled this awful smell throughout the building. Thinking some small animal must have gotten in the duct work he searched high and low. Then his nose tracked it to my classroom!
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Love this topic
Old 08-30-2021, 06:45 AM
 
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I did student teaching in a kindergarten class. It was show and tell day so this cute little guy who came from a large family brought in a little cardboard telescope.
He held it up to his eye and was quite pleased at how it worked. The master teacher asked where he found it. He replied, “In the trash can in our bathroom. I think my big sister threw it away.” Yes, it was a tampon applicator.


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Old 08-30-2021, 07:05 AM
 
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When I was science department head, we had a course in experimental scientific research. Students designed and performed a group experiment as part of the course. One year, they decided to investigate the strength of insects compared to other animals.

I had to contact the superintendent’s office, which had announced the exterminator would be treating the school over a break, to ask them to spare the cockroaches in the biology lab, as they were undergoing strength training for an important experiment.
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not really my story...
Old 08-30-2021, 08:32 AM
 
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A friend and frequent sub was teaching next door to me for the day... both Kindergarten classes. She came to my door in a panic and asked for my help. In her classroom was a boy kneeling on the floor behind a chair with his head on the seat of the chair... stuck. He couldn't get his head out. I immediatly lost it and had to step out of the room to laugh. I called our trusty custodian who had much better self contol than I. She calmly asked the boy how he got in this predicament and helped his to retrace the steps. Even many years later this story crack me up.
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