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Nothing Worse Than BackStabbers
Old 02-24-2019, 02:56 PM
 
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There is nothing worse than backstabbers.
Been working very hard with students, doing very best job.
Getting great reviews from principal.
And feel proud and that I'm doing solid work.

Now feeling quite deflated because some colleagues gossip and backstab about me.
What really hurts is people who just sit and listen to gossip and lies, but do not stand up, defend, or counter what's being said.
Then, "listener" and even "backstabber" will be two-faced, all sweetsy to my face.
So, feeling like everything is going great.
Until I catch wind of all The Talk.
Then, I'm the Big Dummy who was blindsided and not in the loop with all their secrets and lies.
And many male administrators that I know encourage this type of behavior and rivalry among women teachers.


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Old 02-24-2019, 05:26 PM
 
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Okay, so who is making sure you hear about gossip? That person is a pot stirrer and is also to blame. The next time a pot stirrer tries to upset you, tell her you don't listen to concerns unless it comes right from the source. Ask her to go tell the gossips to talk to you face to face like a true professional.

Yikes! I've had this happen too. The pot stirrer actually encouraged the gossip and then passed the gossip along to me in order to cause hurt. I believe they will be held accountable to the Lord.
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Old 02-24-2019, 05:45 PM
 
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I'm going through this EXACT situation at my school. It really is hurtful, especially the 2 faced aspect. What I've learned is that when you're doing an excellent job, jealousy starts to rear its head. Just continue to do an amazing job and ignore the haters.
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I agree
Old 02-24-2019, 06:45 PM
 
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I thought this behavior died when we became adults. Iím going through the same thing. Itís gotten to the point that I rarely talk to anyone at school. I go to work and do the best that I can to avoid colleagues, especially the gossipers. Iím not rude or anything, iím just very cognizant of what I say and to whom. Itís one of the many reasons that iíll Be retiring in June. Too much drama. Lifeís too short.
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Old 02-24-2019, 08:55 PM
 
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This problem is a male and female problem. Both can and do gossip. The politics of a teaching job is intricate and should be taught in teacher training. At the rate this country is going,nothing will be taught in teacher training
I tell student teachers and first year teachers never to talk about anyone. Period. Ever. Very simple directions but tough to do for some people.


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Old 02-25-2019, 03:54 AM
 
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The worst is walking into a meeting after a few people have been there talking and they are suddenly silent with that "cat that ate the canary" look on their faces OR leaving a meeting ON TIME, but others stay back to gossip.
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Old 02-25-2019, 09:23 AM
 
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I make a conscious decision to assume that people are not talking about me. There must be way more interesting things for people to talk about than me! I may only be right 50% of the time, but it helps me.
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I hear you!
Old 02-25-2019, 10:59 AM
 
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I can usually tell who is a Backstabber and who is not. I’m retired now but learned to really talk to no one at school about anything. However, one person I had as a partner for one year totally fooled me and I didn’t even realize it until the next year that she was the start of all the gossip. She seemed so genuine and caring. She’s even that way about the principal behind her back.

Last edited by kidsrterrific; 02-25-2019 at 05:34 PM.. Reason: Spelling
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Old 02-25-2019, 11:59 AM
 
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If you hang out with humans you'll no doubt encounter backstabbers. I've come to see that Picasso was painting realistically when he would show all the various and distorted portions of a human face.

I posted some quotes inside my coat closet in my classroom. One of them said, "Praise and blame are all the same." To me, that meant don't swallow the praise or absorb the blame of others. It was simply someone's opinion of me and not necessarily based on reality. The other quote I posted said, "What other people think of me is none of my business." I can't live in a state of worry wondering what others think of me, it's too exhausting.

As teachers, we have so many people to "please". Don't play that people pleasing game because you'll never win and it's exhausting.

I'm sorry you have such a snarky staff. It's tough but now you know. Keep being the great teacher that you are and move on down the road. You're a strong woman.



*Avoid the people who tell you what others say about you. That person is TOXIC!
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Jealousy...
Old 02-25-2019, 02:41 PM
 
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When my long-term principal died, she was replaced by a much younger, less experienced woman. My state eliminated true tenure, and I watched the atmosphere in the building change from one of family to one of competition, fueled by the desire of many to curry favor with the new principal, who demonstrated favoritism early on. If you are doing as well as you say and others have noticed, their jealousy is fueling their nastiness. Ignore what you can and defend what you feel you need to so you are not bullied in any way by these people. You deserve better, but this type of thing was characteristic of my school, as it is in many, unfortunately.


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Old 02-25-2019, 06:31 PM
 
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Luckily, it is NOT the colleagues at my school.
My colleagues are quite lovely and supportive and we are like a family.

It's my district colleagues: school versus school.
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Isn't it strange that all of the
Old 02-26-2019, 05:09 AM
 
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qualities of patience, tolerance, helpfulness, honesty, loyalty, uplifting behaviors, understanding, equal treatment, etc., which should be part of students' education in becoming decent human beings are routinely violated by the very people trusted to teach them those qualities?

Last edited by Clarity; 02-26-2019 at 08:38 AM..
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Iíve seen studies
Old 02-26-2019, 08:05 AM
 
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That find gossiping is most prevalent among those in dead end jobsówhere promotions are unlikely.

Seems like a description of teaching although the salary range is higher than the average dead end job.

Donít know if thatís any comfort, but does put the urge in context.
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Old 02-27-2019, 01:25 PM
 
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I agree! However, we all at some point in our career violate these principles but some teachers do it as a mission statement.
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