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College is just around the corner...I'm not ready:(
Old 01-18-2020, 04:49 PM
  #1

So I am feeling a little bittersweet tonight. My son was accepted into the college of his dreams...Purdue. He has worked hard, has the ability and drive and really wants to pursue his dream field..aerospace engineering. I am excited for him but inside I am a little sad that he is moving on and away. His college will be a 4 1/2 hour drive from home and that just seems like a long way away. It is so hard at times to have a momma's heart and I am very aware I have some lonely days just around the corner. Trying to change my mindset and be excited for him but oh that boy has my heart!


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Old 01-18-2020, 04:53 PM
  #2

Congratulation to your son! That is such wonderful news!

I can understand feeling sad about him going several hours away. It's such a big move for you both.
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Old 01-18-2020, 04:56 PM
  #3

Congratulations to your son on a great school and a great major. Congratulations to you on getting him there. Yup, youíll miss him but you know itís the right thing for him. So be sad and proud.
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Old 01-18-2020, 05:04 PM
  #4

Congrats to your son! That's so exciting when they get into their first choice! I'm a little jealous about a 4.5 hour drive. My dd is looking to go to the east coast, and we're in CA.
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Old 01-18-2020, 05:08 PM
  #5

Fi e job your son has done!!

It is really hard to let them fly.

I felt a little guilty when my DS went off to college because he was only an hour away. Night as well have been 2 days away because we never saw him

When DD went to the same school I was a tad giddy because I knew we'd stay in touch. I had no idea that it would be almost every day via text, instant message, phone call, or actually seeing each other.

Now both are FAR. DD is in school for her PhD 14 hours away. DS is working on a contract with his company to work on Europe. Uggghhh.

It's an adjustment, but you will do better than you think!


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Old 01-18-2020, 05:17 PM
  #6

Aww....thank you for these responses. I've been crying as I read them. Yes, it is so hard to let them fly....and it helps to know that others feel the same. Trying to keep a smile on my face for my son but inside my heart is kind of breaking.
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Old 01-18-2020, 06:28 PM
  #7

When my son got accepted into his choice school I was thrilled especially because it was only an hour away. I really didn't think much about him leaving until the morning we were packing stuff up to move him and I cried and cried. It doesn't matter how close or far away they go out hearts still miss them.
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Old 01-18-2020, 08:59 PM
  #8

My husband wants to move back to his roots during my sonís college half way across the country. So I am already crying for 3 years from now.
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Old 01-18-2020, 09:03 PM
  #9

My husband had to drop out of his dream college because his mom screamed and cried and wailed every day because of her cheating husband. So help him succeed. My experience.
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Old 01-19-2020, 04:54 AM
  #10

Congrats to your son!! It's been over 6 years now for me, but the summer before my twins went to college ( my only kids) I often felt sad and got teary at random times ( grocery store!), but luckily not in front of them.

School started up for me about the same time so I was super busy. I was pleasantly surprised how quickly I got used to them being gone and was ok with it ( like 2-3 weeks).


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Old 01-19-2020, 05:23 AM
  #11

First, congrats to your son for being accepted into Purdue! I don't know much about that college except that Drew Brees (we're Saints fans) went there, so I'm a huge fan of it now!

From a momma who's been there (with 3 kids who are out now), it helped me to remember that it's a blessing that he's even able to go to college. DH's mom didn't want him to leave the nest, so she discouraged him from going. He had to work really hard to make a good living without a college degree.

With cellphones now, it makes it wonderful. Our oldest was 4 1/2 hours away as well, and we would FaceTime once a week so it felt more real than a regular phone call or text. We eventually didn't have to do it as often (and his schedule got crazy), but we knew we always could and we texted often.

Use that alone time to catch up on things you enjoy doing - shopping, chick flicks, etc... or plan regular dates out with friends. I had to stay out of my kid's rooms when they were gone to begin with or it brought me to tears. I left the door shut. When I did get up the courage to go in, I'd pray for them and their adventure.

Great job raising a driven young man who knows what he wants in life. Keep reminding yourself that this is a good thing. It makes those trips home (or up to see him) even more special.
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Old 01-19-2020, 05:48 AM
  #12

My DD's college is 12 hrs away. Honestly, it doesn't matter the distance...once they go off to college, it's never the same. Best wishes to you and your son!
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I've been there!
Old 01-19-2020, 06:17 AM
  #13

1 DD is four hours west, and youngest DD went 7.5 hours east last fall. It is hard at times, but when they are happy and thriving with their choices, it's hard to be too sad. It also makes the visits home so much sweeter.

Advice? Let yourself be sad for awhile AFTER he leaves. Plan a special dinner or something with him before he leaves. Be patient with yourself, it's such a huge change, and for your personal well being, STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM ALL SAPPY COUNTRY MUSIC!!! I'd be fine and then some stupid song would come on the radio.
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(((Hugs)))
Old 01-19-2020, 06:24 AM
  #14

We get it. We grieve the loss of their childhood and of the family unit the way we know it. Itís hard, but itís what is supposed to happen. You did a good job, and heís ready to spread his wings. Letting go is so hard, but you will be his safety net.

Let yourself grieve, but not too long. Give yourself a few mopey days, then focus on all the positives. Look forward to the visits. Breaks are long, youíll have a lot of time together. Heís only a car ride away. Send him care packages. Itís an exciting time of life, enjoy it with him.

(((Tight momma hugs!)))
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I promise you will be okay
Old 01-19-2020, 08:19 AM
  #15

Both my girls left for college this fall. I will be honest and tell you it was really hard. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest. I cried until I hyperventilated. It was not pretty. I felt like I had lost my purpose. Good news: it got better. In the beginning I would hear a song on the radio or come home to an empty house and I would get sad. Each day I had to make a conscious effort to stay strong and busy. It took about a month to adjust. We snap chat and have a family text thread and our weekly call. Guess what they still need us. Both my girls are thriving at college so that helps my mamaís heart a lot. I was worried that when they came home for Christmas, things would be different but it wasnít. It was wonderful and like old times. There are groups and messages boards for Empty Nesters ( ugh I hate that word). I signed up and received a daily message and it actually was helpful. I wish you the best, remember you can always come here and get the support you need.
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Old 01-19-2020, 09:16 AM
  #16

To make the transition easier, I suggest you make sure you have something that you do for you. Get busy with a new/old hobby, sport, activity. Join a group that does it. Start inviting people you like over (unassociated with DS) or meet for dinner/lunch/breakfast.

Having something for you makes the loss less obvious. I say this because most of us are wrapped up in our children- so much so that when they go our sense-of-being seems to disappear until we "remake" ourselves. Remake yourself before he goes.
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I hear ya but
Old 01-19-2020, 01:44 PM
  #17

Going away to college is such a great experience! My son earned a full ride basketball scholarship 4 years ago to a college 10 hours from home. It has been such a great thing for him.

He canít just hop in his truck for the weekend to come home but he was kind of shy before he left and being on his own has been a godsend and he has come out of his shell.

He will graduate debt free with his teaching degree in May. Youíll be ok!
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