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Heartbroken Mom
Old 05-14-2019, 08:21 AM
  #1

Last friday my family had to say goodbye to our dog. She was a great dog and we had her for 12 years. The past 5 years she has been living with my parents. My mom and her became best friends. They had a whole routine together and would sit at nights watching TV with my dog on her lap (by the way she was 70 pounds!). We are all sad but my mom is really heartbroken because she is alone a lot of the time now. My Dad spends most nights on the computer and I don't see what changing anytime soon. I spent the day Sunday and stayed over and going over tonight. I know I can't be there all the time though since I do have my life and things in the city.

Any suggestions on what I can do to help my mom ease my Mom's heart?


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Old 05-14-2019, 08:53 AM
  #2

I'm sorry about your dog. It is always heartbreaking to lose a member of the family. I went through this and never wanted another dog because I could not bear losing another one. There isn't much you can do for your mom other than allowing her to go through her pain. As you said, you can't be there all the time. Your mom knows that dogs do not live as long as humans, and although it may take her a while, she will get through this. Is there a way your dad can step up?
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Old 05-14-2019, 08:58 AM
  #3

I'm am so sorry for your family's loss. It will take time for your mom to grieve. Could she volunteer at a shelter?
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Dog
Old 05-14-2019, 11:29 AM
  #4

She needs another dog. I personally believe there is no reason to wait and this will help her so much. So sorry for the heartbreaking loss. I read all the James Herriot books, like All Creatures Great and Small. He always recommended getting another dog. I totally understand because my dog is extremely important to me everyday too.
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A senior dog or foster...
Old 05-14-2019, 11:59 AM
  #5

I agree that another dog when she is ready might be something that would help her. Lots of dogs at the shelters/rescues or through www.petfinder.com or www.adoptapet.com. So sorry for your family's loss. It's always so sad to lose a furbaby.


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Old 05-14-2019, 12:01 PM
  #6

An older woman from our church recently lost her dog and her family bought her a stuffed toy replica. It has helped to ease her pain as she still has something that can sit on her lap and she can stroke. It might be a good transition if she is not ready for another real dog.
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Old 05-14-2019, 12:03 PM
  #7

How about a cat? They are easier to care for than a dog and so sweet too. Or a dog ... but if mom needs less work.. a cat would be good.

Sorry to hear about your loss.
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Old 05-14-2019, 12:46 PM
  #8

I feel sorry for your mom. If she doesnít think itís too much work for her and you can help occasionally, I vote for another dog.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:03 PM
  #9

I am sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. I would suggest what eagles23 said or a blanket with the dog's picture on it.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:04 PM
  #10

I am sorry for your loss. Your mom needs a little time to grieve, then I would ask her what she wants.


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When we lost our dog...
Old 05-14-2019, 06:14 PM
  #11

That was my story a year ago. My daughter's dog became my dog when the dog didn't accept her new husband. My truck driver husband began working much more than he had in years. The kids all finally left home. I did not have a job, and chose not to substitute much. I was alone much of the time, except for the dog. We got so close. Then she suddenly got sick and passed away. I was heart broken. I said I didn't want another pet. After years of having pets, I didn't want the responsibility anymore. I became incredibly lonely. Her death was sudden and and she died too young. I missed the dog and cried for her every day. I woke up crying. I went to sleep crying. Still, I said no more pets. I just couldn't go through the pain of losing another pet. my husband encouraged me to get another dog. Then one day I heard of a dog's sad story and made arrangements to meet her. It had only been two months. I wasn't ready but this dog needed me. A year later, I can say it was hard to take in dog so soon, and there was some guilt. I sometimes tear up at the thought of the other dog, but this dog definitely helped ease my pain. At first she just kept me busy. I even wondered if I made a mistake. Now she is part of the family and I'm not looking back.

I hope your mom finds peace in her situation. She may not want another dog, but I think she should think about it. If she doesn't take in a dog of her own, maybe she can foster one, or find a way to work or interact with animals or people in a way that she can be satisfied.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:33 PM
  #12

I'm sorry about your family's loss of such a wonderful pet I would definitely provide your mother with your company and just let her grieve and talk about things. Take it slowly and should the opportunity arise from talking encourage her to get another pet. Don't rush it though.
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Old 05-15-2019, 12:37 AM
  #13

I've been thinking about my response to this post. The loss of a pet hurts. Everyone is different and the answers are not the same. For me, I was looking forward to a little more freedom, not having to be home as much for a pet, and not having to clean up dog hair. I am home alone almost every night, and it was very hard to get used to the dog not being in bed with me. My husband was concerned about me being home alone without a dog to protect or alert me if someone were trying to break in. He knew I was very upset about the dog passing away and he wanted to ease my pain. Despite all those things, I couldn't have a dog right now if it weren't for my daughter, son in law, and grandchildren who live next door. When the bus is late and I can't get home in time, they let the dog out for me. When my husband and I decide to go out all day, we can count on them to let the dog out and play with her. When we have gone away for a vacation, they have taken care of the dog. I don't know where your mom is in her life. When I have been sick, or the dog is just plain bored, I can count on one of the grandchildren to come over and take the dog out back to play. She may or may not want another dog. There are other ways to deal with loss and she needs to do what is right for her. Also, I am sorry for your loss and I can relate to your mother's deep.sense of loss because I have never taken the death of a pet as hard as I did the last one.
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Old 05-15-2019, 07:45 AM
  #14

Thank you all for your responses they really helped me! My dad has been saying for years that he wants another golden retriever so maybe they will do that. My mom said she would be ok with it but that he was have to be the one who takes the dog to the vet. Even though my dog lived with them, I was the one who take care of all the vet visits.
I love the idea of a cat because they are easier but my mom has always been terrified of them!!!
Thank you again for the suggestion!
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Old 05-15-2019, 06:57 PM
  #15

I am so sorry. They are members of our families and it is heartbreaking to lose them. Its nice that you are spending more time with her. I am sure she needs that. When she is ready I do agree with the idea of getting another dog.

Nancy
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Old 05-16-2019, 04:22 PM
  #16

I am sorry. Dogs are a part of the family. I would make sure that your mom decides when/if she wants another dog. Don't give her one as a gift or push her into it. After my dogs died I knew I'd get another when the time was right. Eventually other dogs found us. (Rescues that needed to be rehomed by acquaintances.)

A book I love is Dog Heaven. It is a picture book and makes me cry but I found it very comforting.
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Old 05-18-2019, 01:11 PM
  #17

I'm so sorry for your family's loss!
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