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Did friend get cheated on?
Old 08-29-2019, 03:58 PM
  #1

I heard from a mutual friend of my really good friend and I that she walked in on her husband in bed with a much younger girl last weekend...think 54 with a 30 year old.

Ok, I teach with this gal and have been very good friends for 25 years! She has been acting totally normal all week and hasnít said a word!

The source from which I heard this is VERY reliable. Part of me thinks it could be true, but I just donít know. Iíve been friends with the husband for almost 30 years!

What to do? Just keep quiet and let her tell me if it is indeed true? I am beyond shocked right now.


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Old 08-29-2019, 04:04 PM
  #2

Keep quiet! Donít ask anything. Donít talk about it to anyone.
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Old 08-29-2019, 04:05 PM
  #3

I agree with Cassyree.
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Old 08-29-2019, 04:08 PM
  #4

I agree. Say nothing. If it's true, she will tell you when she's ready.
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Old 08-29-2019, 04:09 PM
  #5

I would not say anything to her unless she mentions it.


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Old 08-29-2019, 04:14 PM
  #6

Respecting her privacy is the best way to go.
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Old 08-29-2019, 04:38 PM
  #7

Totally agree with others, stay quite and if she does mention it to you, I would not say anything that would let her know that you had already heard the rumor.
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Old 08-29-2019, 04:39 PM
  #8

I would ask the person who told you this to stop spreading this news around. Then I would wait for the alleged victim of the cheating to talk about the problem .
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Old 08-29-2019, 05:41 PM
  #9

I agree with saying nothing. In fact, try to forget youíve heard it unless the involved friend comes to you. One of my most important mantras is asking myself, ďIs this any of my business?Ē Try it.
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Friend's Situation
Old 08-30-2019, 03:12 AM
  #10

Don't say anything. Not your circus . . . not your monkeys.


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Old 08-30-2019, 09:34 AM
  #11

Probably cheated, but don't bring it up. But what if during regular conversation, you mention something about 'husbands' just to see if you can spark her to say something about it.
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Old 08-30-2019, 10:55 AM
  #12

Having a spouse that cheats is a devastating experience. No friend owes an explanation to others. It’s often too excruciating to share. The pain is private so don’t question or share your concerns with others. Don’t prod her with comments about husbands... that’s unkind. Let her bring up any issues on her own. If you’re truly a friend spend time with your coworker and actively listen... be there for her and closely guard her privacy.
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Old 08-30-2019, 11:52 AM
  #13

Don't say anything. I was that woman 10 years ago.......while I didn't walk in on my Ex with another woman, I discovered that he was having an affair with a "girl" in his office (she was barely 25, we were both in our 40s). This was my second marriage, and the first one ended this way as well. But this time, we had two children, a beautiful home, wonderful friends, we were established in the community, and I was just a MESS. To make it all worse, he moved out while I was at work, and just sent me a text telling me.

I couldn't tell anyone for the longest time. I was very good at putting on a happy face and teaching all day long. And when I finally told one person, I was a basket case.

Just keep quiet. She'll come to you if she can.
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Old 08-30-2019, 02:52 PM
  #14

maybe she didnt say anything because it isnt anyones business.
dont say anything.
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Old 08-31-2019, 07:04 AM
  #15

Renea said it well

Quote:
. Having a spouse that cheats is a devastating experience. No friend owes an explanation to others. Itís often too excruciating to share. The pain is private so donít question or share your concerns with others. Donít prod her with comments about husbands... thatís unkind. Let her bring up any issues on her own. If youíre truly a friend spend time with your coworker and actively listen... be there for her and closely guard her privacy.
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friend
Old 08-31-2019, 07:26 AM
  #16

I agree with the others about not saying anything. She'll tell you if/when she's ready if it's even true. If it's not true, you'll just stir the pot and bring up issues where there aren't any.

Nobody mentioned this, and maybe it goes without saying, but I wouldn't consider the "mutual friend" to be a real friend. Real friends don't tell personal secrets. It's good for you to know who NOT to confide in at this point.
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