Pesky Para - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      The VENT

Pesky Para

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
SummerRose SummerRose is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 33
Junior Member

SummerRose
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 33
Junior Member
Pesky Para
Old 09-12-2019, 09:11 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

I recently started a new position as an asd teacher. This is not a hate post against paras because I appreciate all the hard work they do and us special ed. teachers know we can’t do the job without them. However, one of the paraprofessionals in my room seems to think she can do my job. She insists I talk too soft to the students because I do not yell at them. She seems to think yelling and getting in the students faces get them to do what she wants them to do and faster. She seems to be very jealous because as I stated before she thinks she can do my job and she thinks she can do it better. We have a violent new student and he has not only hit me, but he hit her as well. He hit her because she got in his face and started yelling and shouting commands. Anybody who works with asd students know they need time to process and just because you yell at them doesn’t mean they will comply. Today I showed one of my students a picture of the sensory room and asked him to come with me. He was still sitting at his desk because he was clearly processing what I was asking him to do. She comes in right behind me and says “this is the sad part” and proceeds to yell at the student to clean up and get in the sensory room and the student complied. She thinks because she did this that’s why the student went to the sensory room. It’s just annoying to go to work and deal with that type of behavior. I am soft spoken and mild mannered, but I’m firm and my students still follow directives and commands that I give them. I’ve been teaching for 4 years and I never had to yell at my previous students. I used visuals and patience and my students excelled highly. I took the day off today just for a mental break. This para constantly says remarks about how she’s the only one that does any work and also complains to other staff members that I don’t know what I’m doing. She also tries to talk over me when I’m doing interactive lessons with the students which is so annoying. I will ask a question or attempt to explain what I want them to do and she repeats it, but louder which is unnecessary. She also tries to rush them when they are just trying to think and answer the question. Any advice on how to deal with such a snobby attitude? Who wants to go to work and deal with not only difficult behaviors from students, but paras as well.


SummerRose is offline   Reply With Quote

Unicorngirl's Avatar
Unicorngirl Unicorngirl is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 23
New Member

Unicorngirl
 
Unicorngirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 23
New Member

Old 09-12-2019, 11:14 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

You're going to have to have a come to Jesus meeting with her. She thinks she's the teacher. I'd try to keep it between the group in the room, but if she doesn't improve involve admin.
Unicorngirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Clarity Clarity is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,846
Senior Member

Clarity
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,846
Senior Member
You need to toughen up and have a
Old 09-13-2019, 04:01 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

meeting with her, with her job description IN WRITING front and center.

Remind her who the teacher is and who does her job reviews (you, I hope).

If necessary, have someone from HR or the principal or an AP sit in.

She is toxic. This is the beginning of the year. How many more days do you need to take off to avoid her? What do you think she is doing/saying today while you are not there?

Sometimes, we have to advocate for ourselves. If possible, get her out of your room. And definitely report any negative comments she makes to you or about you to others. Otherwise, you are in for a hellish year.
Clarity is offline   Reply With Quote
LazyLake LazyLake is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 418
Full Member

LazyLake
 
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 418
Full Member

Old 09-13-2019, 04:49 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

Good advice. She will continue her behavior unless you step up and take action. It is not only your responsibility to do so, but it is for the benefit of your student's self concept and your job in accomplishing student's progress in your classroom.

Document speaking with her first, one on one. Have proof that she was informed of changes needed.

Then if this continues, get admin. involved.
She needs a review of her job description-have it in writing. Meet before hand with your principal and request that she be present in a meeting. Have notes on what needs to be discussed ready.

(She's probably loving the fact that you've taken a mental day. Don't give her any extra time to push her method of teaching on your class. If you do, the children will start to follow her lead, not yours.)

So far, she knows you are doing nothing about her taking over your class, so she will continue unless you step in to stop it. Stand up for your position. Sorry you are having to deal with this added stress!
LazyLake is offline   Reply With Quote
MAsped's Avatar
MAsped MAsped is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,923
Senior Member

MAsped
 
MAsped's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,923
Senior Member

Old 09-13-2019, 09:17 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

This bitch really has some nerve! So, you're going to stick this job out as long as possible or to the end of the school year despite that violent student from your previous thread and now this para from hell? I know a lot of us suggested you quit. How many mos pregnant are you?

How soon can dr's orders say that you can't work anymore due to your pregnancy? I hope it's soon.

All you can do is make the best of it with the lady, but I have a feeling that a sit-down firm talk with her won't change much unless maybe you get the P involved and things are in writing because she had zero respect for you so she won't listen to you.


MAsped is offline   Reply With Quote
Beach Glass's Avatar
Beach Glass Beach Glass is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,377
Senior Member

Beach Glass
 
Beach Glass's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,377
Senior Member
Agree...
Old 09-13-2019, 09:39 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

With previous postersí suggestions, but I would have someone sit in from the get-go because you have no idea what she will do/say later. Find a neutral person if you can, maybe another special ed teacher working with a different demographic? This person would not comment during the meeting w/o being directly addressed, but would provide an added level of accuracy when/if it goes further. If the para asks, just let her know itís beneficial to have another pair of ears and a scribe so that you can focus on the meeting.
Beach Glass is offline   Reply With Quote
elepen's Avatar
elepen elepen is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,348
Senior Member

elepen
 
elepen's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,348
Senior Member

Old 09-13-2019, 04:46 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

Summerrose
This was me for 3 years with a para just like this. She played head games and acted like my BFF the first months of school. When we came back from Christmas break she totally turned on me, judgmental, critical, back stabber you name it.
It was a wonderful job and I was in charge of the program but this fly in the ointment totally ruined it. The principal never gave me a problem just this para. I loved it when she was out and had subs it felt so normal.
My 3rd year I retired with high blood pressure and an anxiety disorder that took me years to get over that toxic environment.
Hugs and keep venting here it really helped me. Donít work any longer with this person than you have too. When I did confront her about her disrespectful attitude and behavior towards me she went ballistic on me.
This type of person is never wrong and will never change. They have already shown You who there are !!!
elepen is offline   Reply With Quote
SummerRose SummerRose is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 33
Junior Member

SummerRose
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 33
Junior Member
Sticking it out
Old 09-13-2019, 05:56 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

Eventually they will move the violent student. Don’t know when it’s happening, but it has been approved and they are searching for a placement for him. In the meantime I’m steering clear and avoiding the student since he’s so unpredictable. I have to work until December because maternity leave is only 12 weeks and I don’t have enough sick days to cover them. If I went on a leave I would have to use my sick days as well leaving me with none for maternity leave. I don’t plan on returning next school year even if they move the student for other reasons, but as of now I have to stick it out. I have a mortgage to pay, car note, insurance etc. I won’t let anyone run me away from how I earn a living for myself and with a new baby coming I definitely need an income. It sucks I’m stressed, but I’m trying.
SummerRose is offline   Reply With Quote
happygal's Avatar
happygal happygal is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,458
Senior Member

happygal
 
happygal's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,458
Senior Member
I have
Old 09-13-2019, 08:52 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

Worked in education since 2001. In that time i have primarily worked as a substitute teacher.

I notice similarities amongst all paras for special ed. Almost all are loud and overbearing. This is in part to their lack of education, sorry, lack of having any class. By and large the aides get the dirty work and they develop strong personalities to survive in these jobs, which are difficult.

Many are very soft-hearted once you get to know them. They do care about the students and see their role as very necessary. A teacher writing ieps? They see as less than themselves.

A classroom is no place for Ego trips and guesswork. Who knows what works with a student? What i have noticed is our kids learn us. They quickly learn who they can manipulate and who will tolerate no nonsense from them. Even the violent ones.

I also noticed that after a while all the workers in a room take on the same attitude. As the teacher it is your job to set the tone for your classroom as these individuals work UNDER you.

You hold the teaching credential they do not and they know it.

I suggest you document as much as you can. Then call a meeting with this person.

"In case you aren't aware, i do not want you shouting at the students. Please follow my lead. I will be teaching you how i want things done."

If she undermines you document. Get her fired. Your district could get sued over what she is doing.

In addition, as a mandated child abuse reporter you could be fined for not reporting her.

Next time she is yelling. Call her away. Take her to a private area and say

"Yelling like that is verbal abuse. I cannot allow this. Go to the main office now."

Yes. You can tell people to leave.

When you are free you go see the Principal. Document. Report. It is your duty.

She will either quit it or get fired.
happygal is offline   Reply With Quote
Kinderkr4zy's Avatar
Kinderkr4zy Kinderkr4zy is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,445
Senior Member

Kinderkr4zy
 
Kinderkr4zy's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,445
Senior Member

Old 09-13-2019, 09:42 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

OMG you got the para I had this summer. I have had similar issues a time or two and, since I only teach ASD in the summer (gen ed with no para the rest of the year) I wait it out-not worth stirring the pot for a para who is only with me for 2 months.

That's not going to work for you

My suggestion then is to follow the advice to have an admin sit in and face it head on.


Kinderkr4zy is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
The VENT
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:13 AM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net