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riko riko is offline
 
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riko
 
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Sensitive Children
Old 09-14-2019, 05:00 AM
 
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One of my students stayed home from school the other day because he did not want to go the the special we had that day. He said he was afraid that teacher would get mad at him and hit his hand again. The special teacher can't remember even doing such a thing. And because we have to stay with our classes during specials, I've never witnessed her to do anything of the sort, ever.



After admin looked into this and talked to the child, it was discovered the incident he is 'scared' from happened some time last school year and he held it in all this time. We are already into a quarter and a half of of this school year and he has been going to this special with me seemingly fine.



When I spoke to the boy, he said last year he messed up something 5 times and she got mad and moved his hand away from the instrument. I can see her doing that but not in a mean way or with such force that she slapped (his words) his hand.


This whole spiel that kids now say of "I don't want to come to school because I'm afraid I will make a mistake and the teacher will get mad / scold me," just irritates me. Are we never supposed to show kids we are mad? I'm not talking about yelling or anything like that, but even with a tone? How are they ever going to learn to deal with life's harsher realities? Isn't dealing with people who are upset with you a life skill?



What irritates me more are the admin who make it seem like the teacher is at fault, as they did in this case. And I feel for my friend because I don't think she did anything wrong. Just because one or two kids are sensitive and coddled does not mean other kids may be feeling it too and the class environment is bad. I guess this is a sore spot for me because I've been hearing / experiencing kids saying this more and more over the recent years whereas before when I started teaching, this was never heard of.


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chipmunky chipmunky is online now
 
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Where is the guidance counselor
Old 09-14-2019, 05:42 AM
 
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in this problem? This seems like something that would be handled not by the administrators, but by a counselor. Meetings to allow the student to talk about his fears and having an experienced person give him some strategies and "tools" to manage his anxiety is the only way. Also talking to the parents to help him by using the same strategies will lessen these problems for him. Keeping him home, talking him through what the action really was compared to the words he used for it will help everyone.

As to accusations of "hitting" having other students tell in private how they would describe what happened often helps.
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Old 09-14-2019, 05:52 AM
 
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Parents ... and by extension... administrators who allow students to be coddled to this extent are severely crippling the children. Yes, they need to learn how to handle situations when those in authority become angry or frustrated with them. I’m certain that the specials teacher did not do anything the least bit inappropriate. The kid needs to learn to deal.

I also wonder if something else might be going on in addition to this. Could the kid be out and out lying about how the incident affected him? Too me it sounds a little bit like the kid just wanted a day off from school, so he found an excuse. He latched on to a “reason” not to go to school that day and manipulated a whole bunch of adults into thinking he was “triggered” or whatever. Could it be that maybe the kid didn’t particularly like his teacher’s reaction from a while ago, got over it, but is now using it as an excuse to skip school.
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Whenever a parent or kid complains
Old 09-14-2019, 06:56 AM
 
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About anything, no matter how egregious, administrators are incentivized to act as if they believe the kid or parents, even if they know better. It's all about self-preservation and CYA. There is no "leadership."
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What a crazy sentence I formed...
Old 09-14-2019, 07:01 AM
 
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not keeping him home! That makes things worse. I meant at home talk to him.


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Old 09-14-2019, 07:51 AM
 
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Without having witnessed the incident, I would bet that "slapping my hand" is analogous to kids always saying "she yelled at me." Meaning, the teacher didn't slap, but she moved his hand to place it elsewhere on the musical instrument. These students don't like to be corrected in any way, so when they are, they escalate it. And admins have to hustle lest some parent file a lawsuit based on what their 8-year-old says.
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Sensitive Child
Old 09-14-2019, 09:21 AM
 
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I would let the guidance counselor and the specials teacher deal with this. You don't know what happened beyond what the specials teacher and student have conveyed to you.

If a child stayed home because of this, he must have been pretty upset.
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Old 09-14-2019, 10:17 AM
 
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I guess I have a slightly different perspective because this child sounds kind of like me in school. I obviously don’t know what this kid’s like, but I never did anything I wasn’t supposed to and probably would have been diagnosed with selective mutism today. I certainly wasn’t coddled and I wouldn’t say I was an extremely sensitive child, but I did have massive anxiety. I would get physically sick before going to school and my hands would shake while doing work because I was so anxious. I was scared to death of doing the wrong thing. I missed a lot of school. I agree this might be an issue for a guidance counselor or school social worker. Again, this might not be what’s going on with this kid at all, but I thought I’d offer my two cents since it reminded me of myself. I will say although I never outgrew anxiety, I did outgrow my “fear” of teachers by middle school.
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