Long term sub is making me severely depressed - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      Substitute Teachers

Long term sub is making me severely depressed

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
PandaEyes
 
 
Guest

PandaEyes
 
 
Guest
Long term sub is making me severely depressed
Old 04-05-2019, 03:05 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

Hello. First time posting.

So lets just get down to the facts. I have a degree in teaching and was hoping to find my career in teaching. I would be able to move out of my parents home and have my own place and all the great benefits. My mom is always there for me to remind me about all the great benefits. Been in a day care for about a year and a half before I left that job. Got my old retail job back at full time but I don't want to be in retail forever.

Lo and behold I get a sub job. And not just a one day sub job but a LTS. Keep in mind, my only experience having a full time experience in a classroom was in student teaching and only one out of the 3 experiences was enjoyable (first one treated me more like a para for extra work until I needed to provide lessons plans but never showed me how to read pacing guides or find materials, second one the teacher was always yelling at me and having harsh conversations with me when I didn't understand something).

So despite my bad experiences I still wanted to try it. I took the LTS job while balancing another job on top of it because I can't lose my benefits. Now I am severely depressed. Teacher left a list of things to do but they've been struggling for weeks trying to fill the position so I didn't know what was done and what wasn't done. Kids are hard (not too many behavioral issues thank god) and it's a grade I'm not used to. 5th grade spec ed. The instructions are also vague and gives me room to be flexible but I felt lost for the first few weeks.

Now, the admin and team want to throw in a behavior issue kid on top of all my work. Granted teachers have been nice and offering help, but not one admin came down to see how I was doing since starting there until I finally asked for help getting control of my group. They wanted me to do progress reports that I have no access too. And I just feel like I'm barely able to get through the day

I'm struggling so hard. I wake up in tears and cry to the point where I want to puke. I get panic and anxiety attacks pulling up to the school. And the sudden realisation that this career is something that I don't think its for me anymore. Now I'm scared for what I want to do and feel really lost.

But I agreed to stay for the time I said I would. But now I've been hearing that the other teacher may not be coming back to her post. I'm already coming to the terms that I will be leaving at the agreed upon time. I just can't get myself to stay any longer with this anxiety, stress and depression.

But if I wanted to quit early, what should I do? How can I go about doing it?

TLR: LTS job is making me depressed, anxious and stress to the point where I am physically ill (I.e. Dry heaving and puking). My agreed upon stay may be extended to the end of the school year, because teacher might not be coming back. If my health worsens, how can I quit early but still be professional?


  Reply With Quote

Sublime Sublime is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,242
Senior Member

Sublime
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,242
Senior Member

Old 04-05-2019, 04:28 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

I have no teaching advice. If the job is making you sick you must leave. It's not worth your health. You can get other subbing practice, either in regular ed, different grades, and for only 1 day at a time before giving up on it. And if you discover teaching is not for you, that's okay. It really is okay to go in a different direction.
Sublime is offline   Reply With Quote
Gogogo Gogogo is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 522
Senior Member

Gogogo
 
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 522
Senior Member
I did a long term sub job
Old 04-05-2019, 05:56 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

To start out my teaching career. I came home crying every night. I even cried in front of the students once — telling them that I had allergies. It was so, so hard. I thought that maybe teaching wasn’t for me. Constantly doubting myself.....

I’m finishing up my 13th year of teaching — far away from that “hell class.”

It is extremely difficult because you don’t have the experience, confidence, and bag of tricks that you later gain along the way. You definitely do not get the support you need — honestly, you are a temporary employee and they aren’t going to invest much into a temporary teacher. That’s just how it is.

I still call that LTS Class — the class from hell and early in my career when I had difficult days, I would say to myself — “Well, it’s not as bad as when I had that horrible class” — and truthfully, it never has been. You get better at everything. When you have your own class, you run it the way you want to. You make the lesson plans. You are seen from the beginning of the year as their teacher. You have none of that now — but getting through this will make you stronger and more prepared when you do.

I never got physically sick, but I truly dreaded almost everyday. If you can, stay until your original exit day. If they try to move it, say that you have already made other plans that can’t be changed.

Good luck!

Just reread your post: I forgot you that you are still working another job, too. This maybe too much to take on both. I know I could have NEVER got through that LTS, if I had a 2nd job, too

Last edited by Gogogo; 04-05-2019 at 07:53 PM.. Reason: Needed to add stuff.
Gogogo is offline   Reply With Quote
Lenment
 
 
Guest

Lenment
 
 
Guest
Leave Now
Old 04-06-2019, 06:22 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

If you're going to leave, get out now.You are having a bad experience.It won't be the end of your teaching career. If you are young, you have time to find a new job and practice your craft.

Once I had a terrible principal. The guy would yell. I got the heck out of that place. That place was hell, too.I am in another field of education, and it's better. Somewhere you will have another chance. You're ill and the situation isn't worth it. K-12 education is now very difficult, so don't feel bad about a lame experience. I felt that I wasn't treated like a professional at all in elementary school. There's more to life than this.
  Reply With Quote
mooba1's Avatar
mooba1 mooba1 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 9,665
Senior Member

mooba1
 
mooba1's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 9,665
Senior Member

Old 04-06-2019, 07:56 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

Gogogo really nailed it by saying you don’t yet have the experience, confidence, and the teacher’s bag of tricks that you’ll gradually add to the longer you teach.

Now, that first year is always a baptism by fire, but wowzers! You’re in the middle of an inferno. It’s no wonder you’re coming apart at the seams, juggling a full time job in addition to the long-term.


You didn’t say when the job’s original end date was, but if at all possible, I’d try to make it to that date. You may find that you simply cannot manage it, and of course your physical and mental health is more important than this long term. I don’t see any advantage to finishing out the school year. Believe me, the district just wants someone to fill in, and they won’t hesitate to drop you like a hot potato when they no longer need you. Simply say you already made plans based on the original end date, and you’re not available to finish out the year.


There must be a district Sped Dept, and I’d contact them for help and support. At least it sounds like the other teachers are willing to help you.


As far as feeling sick, waking up in tears, and feeling lost, that sounds very typical of the first months of a first year of teaching. As I said, a baptism by fire. For weeks, I came home from my first teaching job in tears, feeling completely incompetent and overwhelmed. I wondered how I could’ve spent 4 years on a degree that I was clearly unsuited for. Well, I made it through that year, and 29 more before retiring, and I’m completing my 6th year of subbing.


All this to say that you’re not alone, and we are here to support you, whatever you decide. I’m just saying don’t give up on teaching just yet. It speaks volumes that you’ve managed to hang in this far. Sending big (((hugs))) your way. Please keep us updated. We care.


mooba1 is offline   Reply With Quote
broomrider's Avatar
broomrider broomrider is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,802
Senior Member

broomrider
 
broomrider's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,802
Senior Member
to answer your question
Old 04-06-2019, 08:33 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

You just inform the principal that you are ill and unable to continue in the long term position. You will still be available for day to day so you are able to work as you recover, but can't do long term.

Then you accept some daily jobs as a sub as your other work schedule permits.

I will say this in bold print: Subbing is not being a classroom teacher. Classroom teachers develop a long term relationship with the students who know they will be with that teacher for 9 months. Students do not interact with subs in the same way as their "regular" teacher.

You are experiencing all the pains and stress of the first year in a very compressed fashion while working full time. You are exhausted, stressed, and unsupported. Stop and take some time to regroup. You really don't owe the school much especially in terms of loyalty and most schools feel little to no obligation to substitutes.

I suggest that you do a real job search for a full time position. You college placement office may be able to help you in this. Do some research for places (states and districts) that are hiring. You may need to move to get your start. I am in Northern Nevada and Las Vegas has been (don't know if they still are) paying a bonus to newly signed teachers. I'm sure other places are in similar need. You may be able to get to your desired area after gaining a few years of experience in a place that isn't your geographic favorite.

Try to chose a place that has a mentoring program for new teachers. The first few years are very tough. Teaching does get easier (seldom easy) after some experience. You develop your classroom control--always the sticking point for newbies--by interacting with children and making adjustments. You find ways to help make the curriculum learnable and can use them year to year.

I taught in various settings for about 40 years and the first year or two in each new position or location was hard AND got better.

For now, get a doctor note if it makes you feel better about resigning. I doubt that you'll be kicked off the sub list for leaving a long term spot, especially since it's your first subbing experience. That school may not have you on their favorites list, but there are other schools begging for subs, I'm guessing.

I wish you well. You are the one with your best interests, including your health, at the forefront. In regards to subs, most schools want a warm body in place to check off their to do list. If this school really valued you, they would be giving much more help.
broomrider is offline   Reply With Quote
Munchkins's Avatar
Munchkins Munchkins is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 16,299
Senior Member

Munchkins
 
Munchkins's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 16,299
Senior Member
Put yourself first!!!
Old 04-06-2019, 09:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

You've gotten great advice. You and your health come first. You are put into a horrible position, and you have the freedom/the right to get out of it. I agree that you should resign from the long term sub position, citing health reasons, and stay on the day to day list if you want. But you have too much on your plate, you need to lighten your load asap.

Welcome to PT- we are here for you, and glad that you have joined us. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing!
Munchkins is offline   Reply With Quote
Sirsubalot Sirsubalot is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 496
Senior Member

Sirsubalot
 
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 496
Senior Member

Old 04-06-2019, 01:25 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

I would agree that leaving seems like the best option.
Another alternative is to compile a list of the support you want, and let them know that if your needs are not met, that you will leave on a particular date.

From the perspective of a sub since 1997, there is no doubt that the least stressful classroom environments are RSP classes, where typically you see about six groups of students who come to your room for about an hour each, and you have no roster. Classes are usually quite small, anywhere from 2 to 12, with about six being the average.

I am sure RSP teachers have great responsibilty out side the instruction, but in almost 22 years, I have never had a stressful RSP class.
This would have been my path if I could start over.
Sirsubalot is offline   Reply With Quote
PandaEyes
 
 
Guest

PandaEyes
 
 
Guest
End day is still a ?
Old 04-08-2019, 03:14 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

Well that's the kicker. They never told me the end date. They just said "oh some time in May" for when the teacher needs to report back. I hate having vague dates because that just adds another level of stress. I might be nice and give them the first week of May but I honestly want to end it when Spring break starts.

I feel guilty if I do leave early and I guess I need to be selfish.
  Reply With Quote
mooba1's Avatar
mooba1 mooba1 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 9,665
Senior Member

mooba1
 
mooba1's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 9,665
Senior Member

Old 04-09-2019, 05:00 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

You’re not being selfish. You’re preserving your sanity and putting your family first. Period. Give them an end date of your choosing; otherwise, their vague end date means they’ll string you along until the end of the school year. 36 year teacher here—-I’ve seen this game many times.

Be firm, but professional when you give them your 2 week notice. That’s plenty of time for them to find another sub, or to figure it out if they can’t get another sub.


Finally, broomrider gave you a very pertinent reminder: “subbing is not being a classroom teacher”. Indeed.


mooba1 is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
Substitute Teachers
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:15 PM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net