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tiredannie tiredannie is offline
 
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tiredannie
 
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Rude Student -
Old 09-17-2019, 09:50 AM
 
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It's Tuesday and I'm irritated.

I have a student in my senior English class who is very rude and disrespectful. She has been particularly nasty with me over the last two weeks for no clear reason. She's constantly rolling her eyes in class when I am lecturing, and when they are in groups, she is always on her phone and ignoring my instructions. When she speaks to me, she is extremely curt and abrupt. I spoke with her about this last week, away from the ears of other students, to address the issue and to try and find out the root her behavior towards me. All she did was roll her eyes and give me one word answers. I explained that I'm opening the door (figuratively speaking) to allow her to express any concerns so we can resolve them. She said she had nothing. On her way of out the door (her friends were waiting outside of the door), she started laughing.

Yesterday, I was conferencing with students one-on-one about their essays and allowing them an opportunity to ask questions before the due date. When I called her up for her conference, she remained in her seat, waved me off (literally waved her hand at me) and yelled, "I'm good" and then rolled her eyes. Students sitting in her area started laughing and so did she. I asked to speak with her after class again.

I told her that I have been very kind and patient with her, and have done nothing to warrant such a bad attitude and curt responses. I also pointed out her body language and explained that the way she interacts with me and the way she speaks to me is neither appropriate, nor is it respectful. When I reminded her that I previously spoke with her about the same issue, she became defensive. I told her that it's getting to the point that her actions are causing a disruption to my class.

I reiterated that I'm here to help her and want her to succeed, but that her demeanor and the way that she speaks to me needs to change. She does not have to like me (trust me, I don't take it personally), but the blatant disrespect cannot continue. She seemed genuinely shocked that I was calling her out on her actions. I told her that I'm here to help her be successful and that I can't do that to the best of my ability if she continues to make things difficult every single class period. She said she understood and left.

This morning, my department chair asks to speak with me. He said that the student contacted her guidance counselor to complain. When I told him exactly what happened, he said okay and that it would be good for all of us to meet so that I could voice my perspective and concerns in front of her, as well as her father, to paint an accurate picture of what's really going on--rather than just hearing her side.

I'm irritated. Basically, this student is big and brave when she's not being called out on her BS. But as soon as she's held accountable, she wants to complain. One of my colleagues said she probably went to the guidance counselor preemptively because she assumed that I would either call home or contact the counselor myself. I didn't do either because she's a senior in high school taking a college-level (AP) class. In a few months, they will be adults and out on their own. As such, I make a conscious effort to not coddle them, and I don't run to their parents if there is an issue that can be resolved in the classroom (and until I have exhausted all of my options).

It's only September and I'm already over it. I have so many wonderful students, but it's always the other students that put a damper on things.



Last edited by tiredannie; 09-17-2019 at 04:43 PM..
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ConnieWI ConnieWI is offline
 
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Just a Thought...
Old 09-17-2019, 09:57 AM
 
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Is there any way you can video her on your phone before your parent/counselor meeting?

You could use this evidence to show at the meeting.

After the meeting, I would love to hear what happened.
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LazyLake LazyLake is offline
 
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Old 09-17-2019, 01:38 PM
 
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Your department chair is wise in calling a meeting with all present.
I wonder how she will act in the meeting in front of her father.
I'm thinking she might have that same attitude at home.

It would be good if you had documentation or notes of all the times you offered help and her reactions, just like you wrote here. You really did a good job of explaining the whole situation to us. She might react differently if she sees you with some sort of documentation in your hands, not knowing exactly what you have written that she can't see when you meet.

I'd be tempted to tell her that you have a whole list of other wonderful, students with pleasant and positive attitudes to teach. State the fact that you don't have time for this behavior that, in your opinion is similar to the behavior that a toddler exhibits when offered help by an adult. If not toddler behavior, it compares to a preteen going through mood changes. Yes, come out and say it. She's gone with the shock factor with her attitude/actions with you- deal it back to her. State that you no longer think your class is a good fit for her due to her displayed attitude and behavior. Offer her the freedom to remove herself from your class and enroll in another teacher's class.

If she does that in college, the professor will kick her out of his/her class.
Keep us posted

Last edited by LazyLake; 09-17-2019 at 01:59 PM..
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ZipLine ZipLine is online now
 
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Old 09-17-2019, 02:36 PM
 
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It sounds like you have been extremely fair to the student and have treated her as an adult. I’d be interested in hearing what her father has to say about his daughter’s behavior. I’m sure she ran to the counselor/home to pre-empt the possibility that you were going to call to her parents.

I don’t agree with the suggestion that you video her in class. I think that would reflect poorly on you and possibly set off her parents.

Good luck with the meeting. Hopefully it will help this young lady reflect on her behavior and how she should conduct herself in class.
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noonespecial noonespecial is online now
 
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Old 09-17-2019, 04:22 PM
 
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Wait.....itís Wednesday??

I had to check the calendar because my year seems to be as frustrating as yours.

Hope your meeting goes well and parent hears your side (and unicorns and mermaids are real).

Sorry, Iím feeling defeated this school year. I, too, am over the attitudes.


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tiredannie tiredannie is offline
 
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To noonespecial:
Old 09-17-2019, 04:46 PM
 
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I honestly thought it was Wednesday. That's how exhausted I am...

Thanks for the encouragement. The fact that the parent didn't contact me directly lets me know where his head is. I always find it to be an aggressive move when parents go to a guidance counselor/principal/department chair rather than first contacting the teacher for a resolution.
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tiredannie tiredannie is offline
 
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To LazyLake:
Old 09-17-2019, 04:55 PM
 
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Thanks so much for the advice. I've definitely been keeping my documentation on this student. I'm an adult and a professional. I'm holding firm and making in clear that she will not continue to treat me like I'm any less.
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