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70Primrose 70Primrose is offline
 
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Update to pushy grandma with books
Old 09-19-2019, 06:42 PM
 
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So, she is the grandma of the kid with the huge behavior issues in my class, see “Do teachers have rights?”. I sent an update of his behavior yesterday to her and her husband. He has an appointment at the doctor next week for evaluation. They need to know his behavior to tell the doctor! This grandma came to my school today mad that my email didn’t say anything good about him! They were anecdotal notes on behavior! I told what I saw him doing, no opinions. She told my principal that I didn’t give any reasons for his behavior. If I knew why he was behaving badly they wouldn’t need to take him to the doctor!! I would be a doctor!! I want him to get help! If I lie and say he is doing fine then he gets no help and I am miserable all year! My principal let her come down my hall and peak into my room through the window! What a weirdo! The kids saw her and it disrupted my lesson and got him all excited! One girl got up and opened the door! I had to fill out the Vanderbilt questioner and fax to his doctor today. She is probably going to be pissed at my answers. I am not going to tell her anything anymore because I think she is dangerous. She is unstable.


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Old 09-19-2019, 07:05 PM
 
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What a nightmare. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and that your principal is not being more supportive of you. Are you familiar with reactive attachment disorder? I'd be willing to bet there is more than just autism or ADHD going on here, especially if he is being raised by grandparents. As for the Vanderbilt questionnaire, if you faxed it directly to the doctor's office, the grandparents shouldn't be privy to your specific answers.
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Old 09-19-2019, 07:24 PM
 
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Quote:
I am not going to tell her anything anymore because I think she is dangerous
You are right to proceed with caution and watch what you say-honest or not. I had a parent a few years ago who asked me to write a letter to her childs tutor to let her know what to work on with the child. Then mom went ballistic and said how dare I not say anything good about the student, and if he had so many areas he was behind in I wasnt doing my job-I just made a list of what to work on and what we were working on in class, she didnt ask for strengths and...yeah we work on a lot of things

Last edited by Kinderkr4zy; 09-20-2019 at 05:11 AM..
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Thanks
Old 09-19-2019, 07:46 PM
 
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I did fax it straight to the doctor! I will also look up the reactive attachment disorder! See this is why I need help, I don’t know all these things. I am not a special Ed teacher. I only had one class in college about teaching special Ed and it was really just about the history of it and the laws. I feel completely abandoned by all the specialists right now and now I feel attacked by this grandmother! I am just a general Ed teacher!
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Old 09-20-2019, 09:18 AM
 
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Don't be surprised if, even after what the doctor tells her, that she still does nothing. I'd had that be the case many times.
A lot of times, no action is taken until the grades/test scores are low or failing. That seems to be the only thing that will make them take action.

I'd had a lot of parents that when their child reached the upper elementary grades, admit that if they'd only listened to the teacher of a previous grade, things would be better for their child's learning and behavior.

I'd be curious as what grandfather's opinion really is on all of this. Bet he would be more on your side as far as behavior. Wonder what he would say in a conference where you had all the documentation. Maybe he's not getting all the facts from grandma.

Be proud that you tried your best. That's all you can do.
I think your principal tried to let grandma see the truth, but it backfired because the kids and her grandchild saw her in the window.


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Old 09-20-2019, 10:30 AM
 
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I would have your principal get the grandparents to sign something saying you can have contact with the doctor. That way the doctor can hear your/the school's side of the story.

The doctor will only hear the grandparent's side of the story (even though you filled out the questionnaire). I can't imagine they will share the paperwork you sent to them with the doctor or share the truth of what the doctor said with you.

I wonder what kind of doctor they will see? Hoping the doctor makes a referral to a specialist or at least a children's hospital where more in-depth testing and diagnostics can be done. By you having permission to speak with the doctor, you could put this bug in his/her ear.
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