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Update to What do I say?
Old 12-03-2019, 07:50 PM
  #1

Because I know you all want to hear my obsessive thinking....
He called me tonight (we did have some group matters to discuss) and apologized for bringing up the whole friendship/more than a friend thing in a text. Complimented me many times about how gracious I was about the whole thing. He said in all of his experiences of being let down, I was by far the kindest. And now.....I wonder if I like him. I wonder if I was more annoyed at his passive way of going about the whole friends/dating thing (like coming up with pointless reasons to text me). But I know if we were dating I'd probably freak out all over again. Just have a weird feeling right now - kind of like neither way is the right choice at this moment. I give up trying to figure myself out!


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Give the relationship time
Old 12-03-2019, 07:52 PM
  #2

You will figure out how you feel. It is oaky to be on the fence for a while.
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Old 12-03-2019, 08:02 PM
  #3

I'm glad he talked to you about the situation. He will find his partner due to his willingness to chat . Your recognition of your tendency to overthink is the first step in the long road to fulfillment. I overthought for years and finally got over it. Give yourself the gift of time.
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Old 12-04-2019, 03:31 AM
  #4

Well, you did say you like him as a friend. So, I am not surprised you wonder. There is nothing wrong with giving it time and wondering, IF you don't have a history of emotional game playing with others by the need to be the controller in the situation. For example, he likes me SO my control is we should just be friends. He accpepts that SO my control is that I really like him more.

I am not saying you are like this because sometimes it is the fact someone is willing to remain a friend and continue the relationship that becomes the attractive feature (not after one thing if you know what I mean). That could very well be the case for you. Your fear that he was moving too fast has been abated so you feel more relaxed to feel what you feel.

Give it time. Enjoy the friendship. Don't think about if you like him in a romantic way. Let time be the determining factor. Just be sure by looking at your past and a hard look at yourself to be sure you aren't the emotional game player. I don't think you are, but some are and never realize it. Since I really don't know you, just be sure for his sake and for yours.
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Old 12-04-2019, 05:02 AM
  #5

Thank you. Yes, trying to remember that I didn't permanently close any doors. (And I do need to work on my overthinking!)


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Old 12-04-2019, 06:16 AM
  #6

I'd say just let it ride for now. You will still see him, so who knows what will happen in the future.
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Old 12-04-2019, 01:06 PM
  #7

I feel like we might be the same person in the relationship department!
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