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Gave in: Christmas
Old 12-22-2020, 09:38 AM
  #1

I posted that my family would not be gathering this year. Right or wrong, we gave in to a compromise. We will be doing Christmas in stages, one family at a time. Each of our children and their children and spouses will visit either on Christmas eve or Christmas, with at least several hours between. Then we will do a video call at the end of the day on Christmas so everyone can "be together". Everyone agreed to wear masks, and I do not plan to serve food. I may offer some Christmas cookies, or send some home with each family. I also plan to open some windows for ventilation and not let anyone stay too long.


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Old 12-22-2020, 09:41 AM
  #2

That sounds like a very good compromise!
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Sounds good!
Old 12-22-2020, 09:46 AM
  #3

With the windows open and masks on, plus not serving food, it sounds very safe! I like the idea of sending home cookies with them so they donít need to take off masks to eat.

Maybe throw in Covid testing if time permits?

Enjoy your modified Christmas!
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Old 12-22-2020, 09:53 AM
  #4

You might be interested in this podcast with tips about air flow and aerosols. Just opening a window isn’t necessarily sufficient, but there are other suggestions here:

https://overcast.fm/+hphMcFB9U

“Infectious diseases physician Nahid Bhadelia and indoor air quality expert Richard Corsi answer every tough question about winter safety – from holiday gatherings, to indoor dining, and flu season. Understand what’s happening with indoor particles and how to make sure homes, offices, and schools can be as safe as possible with ventilation, filters, and CO2 meters.”
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Old 12-22-2020, 09:56 AM
  #5

! Throw in Covid Testing! I really am nervous about our change in plans. Having anyone come into the house, even me after being out makes me so nervous. Its so sad that we feel we have to be so careful among our own families. In the past, we would hear about an illness and feel safe in our own homes. Now we don't have that luxury.

Thanks for sharing the link Gromit. I saw some info on NHK early on in the pandemic about airflow, but its good to look at other sources, especially now experts know more about the virus. By the way, the bubble is what I wish I could have.

I should mention that this is just our adult children and their families. We are not including extended family members. The rest of the family can join us on the video calls.



Last edited by twin2; 12-22-2020 at 10:12 AM..
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Good compromise!
Old 12-22-2020, 10:05 AM
  #6

Have fun! It will create new memories.
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family Christmas
Old 12-22-2020, 10:49 AM
  #7

I'm jealous that you have sensible family members. Mine...not so much. I'm really having trouble trying to decide how to handle this. They wear masks out in public, etc. but I guess since they think we are family living next door, we're free to roam in and out of houses maskless and sit there in a dining room and talk and eat and spew possible covid particles out into the air.

I have to break down and call my sister-in-law today and figure out a plan. Sigh. She is such a difficult person to deal with.
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Old 12-22-2020, 10:50 AM
  #8

Iím sorry to disagree, but it is my firm opinion that itís exactly this kind of ďcompromiseĒ which is causing the long life of the pandemic. Are you certain that every single one of all those people who will be in your house have had no contact with anyone outside their home? Or have you all decided you donít care? Remember, youíre not just choosing to risk your own health, youíre risking it for your whole family.

Again, sorry to be negative, but I want this to end.
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Old 12-22-2020, 11:23 AM
  #9

I agree with amiga. If you donít live in the same house you shouldnít be around each other. I do not understand why anyone would take a chance like this with family members that they love.
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I Support You
Old 12-22-2020, 11:30 AM
  #10

As someone who's given up Easter and Thanksgiving, we are also making some compromises for Christmas. It's been very hard to deal with the decision-making and the fear that goes along with it. Families can be tough to navigate in the best of times but COVID has really upped the anxiety this year. Best wishes to your and your family for a safe holiday!


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Old 12-22-2020, 12:17 PM
  #11

It sounds like a good compromise. I understand some folks wanting to be more cautious, but talking as if everyone cancelling holidays indefinitely is going to bring about and end to this doesnít make much sense to me.
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Old 12-22-2020, 12:32 PM
  #12

Time will tell if itís a good decision or not. Best of luck, because thatís all itís going to be (And I do wish you luck ). I know itís a hard decision with many factors going into it.
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Old 12-22-2020, 12:51 PM
  #13

DH,Son and I will meet DD,Son in Law and granddaughter at a park and each household will bring a picnic lunch. It will be cold,possibly windy and we all feel right about that . It's the common bathroom area wherever you are that will cause people to remove masks and exchange air between the visitors.

Wishing you a great time with your family twin2

Last edited by anna; 12-22-2020 at 02:00 PM..
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Old 12-22-2020, 01:14 PM
  #14

I agree with Amiga. I don't think it's a good compromise at all. People rationalizing these kinds of gatherings are just spreading the virus.
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Old 12-22-2020, 01:38 PM
  #15

I hope you enjoy a little face to face time with your family. It sounds like a good compromise and you will all be masked. I don't see this situation as any different than if you were in the grocery store, in Walmart, in a classroom, in a doctor's office, you have a small group and are all masked. No one will be eating so the masks will stay on. Enjoy seeing your family, looking in their eyes, and hearing their voices on Christmas.

I would suggest having a bottle of hand sanitizer by the door so every one can sanitize when they come in and before they leave.
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Old 12-22-2020, 02:01 PM
  #16

Quote:
I don't see this situation as any different than if you were in the grocery store, in Walmart, in a classroom, in a doctor's office, you have a small group and are all masked. No one will be eating so the masks will stay on.
I think the biggest danger, according to the various experts I listen to/read, is that in small social gatherings, you drop your guard much more easily. *IF* twin2's family truly does stay distant (I'm assuming that's why they're coming one at a time), wear masks, and make sure their airflow is adequate, the risk of transmission is low.

And, depending on the region, you can check the probability of someone in the group being positive. For example, in my area, in a gathering of 10 people, there is a 20% risk of someone in that group being positive. In my friend's area that I checked, there is a 58% chance. And my group of 25 goes up to 50%, if I recall correctly, and hers goes up to 84%. Some areas of the country are seeing 99% chance in groups of 25 or more.

I am 100% on board with everybody just stay the heck away from each other, but I was just listening to a public health podcast where they pointed out that 80% compliance with a 90% effective preventative is better than 50% compliance with a 100% effective preventative. So while best practice is no gatherings, if we can get people to comply with small, distanced, masked, and ventilated gatherings that's better than them ignoring no gathering recommendations.

I don't know where twin2 lives, but it's possible that her compromise to prevent the rest of her family from gathering unmasked without her might do more good than her 100% compliance and their 0% compliance.
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Old 12-22-2020, 02:04 PM
  #17

Quote:
grocery store, in Walmart, in a classroom, in a doctor's office, you have a small group and are all masked. No one will be eating so the masks will stay on.


I was invited to a birthday gathering this summer with the same set up. Unfortunately during the short period of time,one bathroom would be shared by all guests. How many of these bathroom using guests will wear the mask while in there? This was my first concern.
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Old 12-22-2020, 05:09 PM
  #18

I have to agree with Amiga. I am usually a Ďlive and let liveí kind of person but the exceptions to the rule puts everyone at risk. I love my family and I am tired of missing out on the gatherings and socializing. However, I think that I can forgo a get together if it means keeping us all safe. People making exceptions and trying to work around the advice we have been given is the reason our country is in such a mess with this virus. That being said, I hope for the best for you and your family.
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Old 12-22-2020, 06:47 PM
  #19

You should all know my feelings about this are all over the place and that I am not offended no matter your opinion on this matter. I don't know if this is a mistake or not. We have debated this subject since spring. We have been super careful. I have only seen my youngest daughter twice since last Christmas. I believe I have only seen my oldest son and grandson twice since last Christmas. We have been so careful, but each of us can list times when we were put into risky circumstances because of someone else's lack of concern. Just recently, my mother was exposed to someone who had been exposed. Thankfully she didn't catch the virus. Then my husband believed he had been exposed, but it turns out the coworker had another respiratory virus not Covid. In my family, some of us work from home. Others work face to face. Some go to church, some stopped going, and some aren't church-goers anyway. We all go out to the stores as needed. Some of us have had several medical appointments. We've managed to stay away from that daughter and son I mentioned in the beginning of this post and their families, but the daughter living next door depends on us so much that incidents arise and either they are here or we are there. Visits are literally under fifteen minutes, but they are frequent and take place outside when possible. We do what we have to. They have kids and there is a brother in-law and his foster kid in the picture. We are doing our best to help them help themselves, but this takes time and with the kids involved, we can't turn our backs. Every contact, whether at the store, church, work, doctor, or with another family member is a potential exposure. We get that. I'm one of the ones concerned that gatherings over the holiday break will cause the numbers to go up. I just don't see any difference in short visits with family than going into a crowded store to buy groceries, sitting in a doctor's office waiting to be seen, working a face to face job or going to a church service. There will be four of us together on Christmas eve, and four of us on Christmas day. Since there are six in my oldest daughter's household, and multiple exposure risks, I would prefer they don't come over. I haven't even invited them yet. I'm hoping they are fine without an official visit since we see them frequently. We may just walk over with the grandkids' gifts and leave after their gifts are opened, which should only be about ten minutes. I pray that we will all be safe and don't contribute to spreading Covid. I'm not of the mindset that we are immune, that we won't spread the virus. I believe this virus isn't going anywhere anytime soon, and my family needs some time together. We will do it with precautions as we would if we were going to the store, doctor, church, or work. We will wear masks, use hand sanitizers. I will clean as soon as each leave the house. I will open windows. I don't have central heat. We will not eat during the visits. We won't be singing. We will keep the visits short. I respect your opinions and please, please don't think I'm out of sorts over any of the responses.
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I know itís tough, but
Old 12-22-2020, 06:53 PM
  #20

TRUE STORY - we have been keeping contact to just our household. My husband and I both work at schools, but we socially distance while at work and wear our masks at work. Iím in an office by myself and donít wear my mask in my office - the door stays closed all day. No one comes to my office.

My daughter babysits a one year old in his home, and his dad works from home. His mom works at a school and wears a mask. The two other people in that home are a mother and her adult daughter. The daughter works and wears a mask, and the mom stays home. They wear masks if they go out.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving; it was just the four of us here. Around 7:30 that night, my niece shows up, having arrived back in town to work closer to her hometown. She came to California from OREGON. She stayed less than two hours...

We all four are in the recovery stage of COVID-19. There are still a lot of unknowns about this virus, but I am thankful that our experience wasnít as bad as it could have been. I am hesitant to share this because I have seen some responses, but if I can pay it forward and cause someone to think about their decision and possibly save a life or two, then here I am.

I thought about it, and said ďnah! It will be okay, right?Ē Who is to say how this unwelcome destructive virus entered our home and our bodies, but all I can say is Thank you Lord.

We will hold off on visiting indefinitely.....😢
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Old 12-24-2020, 09:38 PM
  #21

It sounds like you are taking some excellent precautions. Our oldest son and DDIL celebrated with us last weekend since they are with her sister out of state (everyone was Covid tested before gathering). Our younger DS, of course DD who is here with the baby and one friend (a recent widow) is gathering with us tomorrow. We had planned to eat outdoors but will be way too cold, so masks when not eating and physically distanced while eating.

Nancy
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