Tell us you're a teacher without saying that you are a teacher.

Hifiman

Something fun I saw on FB. I didn't go through the comments because I thought it would be fun to see what pops up here. I think it mostly works for K-8, but here's one for HS.

"Don't start packing up yet!"

luvmycat · 01-09-2021, 10:48 AM

"Hold onto your balls!"

mom23kids · 01-09-2021, 10:50 AM

1,2,3 eyes on me!

MathWA · 01-09-2021, 10:50 AM

OMG - luv my cat! That is the funniest!

all41 · 01-09-2021, 10:57 AM

Do not lick the white board. Please use the eraser instead.

PS.....I said that yesterday. I teach 4th grade.

Munchkins · 01-09-2021, 11:05 AM

Tell your feet to walk!

Listening positions, please!

Get your hands out of your pants and go gel your hands.

No potty parties!

Whatever you just took out of your nose, put it in the garbage and wash your hands.

Please stop petting my foot.

You need to stop talking to the back of my head.

(I teach 1st) I love you, too.

bookgeek59 · 01-09-2021, 11:08 AM

From grade 1 last week: "Stop trying to color your cat with your crayon."

From my middle school days: "When I said get rid of your gum, I didn't mean pass it to your friend for her to chew."

lakey · 01-09-2021, 11:08 AM

Criss cross applesauce

Remember to raise your hand

Inside voice

Cat woman · 01-09-2021, 11:10 AM

(Whispering) If you can hear me clap your hands

Sit on your sit upons

I can see you picking your nose. How would you like it if I sat here and picked my nose?

imatchr2 · 01-09-2021, 11:13 AM

“Unmute”

“Thumbs up or thumbs down?”

“You get what you get and you don’t get upset”

amiga13 · 01-09-2021, 11:13 AM

Who can answer Billybob’s question?

GraceKrispy · 01-09-2021, 11:15 AM

Quote:

(Whispering) If you can hear me clap your hands

This is the first one I thought of, too!

And
I like the way Mia is sitting!

rana712 · **4th grade** 01-09-2021, 11:15 AM

Just because you think it, doesn't mean you have to say it.

tctrojan · **High school** 01-09-2021, 11:16 AM

Put your phone away.

Why would you come to class without your ____?(fill in the blank)

I do not want to hear that.

Your shorts/skirt/shirt is showing too much skin.

linda2671 · **Here are some from my first graders.** 01-09-2021, 11:27 AM

Thank you for sharing that. 😱

Tripp, you have to get out of bed BEFORE the morning check-in.

Charlotte · 01-09-2021, 11:41 AM

Is this a question or a story?

Go get a tissue for that.

nyteacher29 · **Coffee** 01-09-2021, 12:13 PM

My coffee is cold again.

I need more flair pens.

I better use the bathroom before I can’t for the next two hours.

suzyteach · 01-09-2021, 12:40 PM

My coat pockets: in the left pocket is a "special rock" lovingly given. It is a hunk of concrete

in the right - a confiscated Pokemon card

suzyteach · 01-09-2021, 12:43 PM

Just one word: "WALK!"

teachnkids · 01-09-2021, 01:06 PM

No math book? Where did you think you were going?

Bell hasn't rung yet. Sit down.

You're tardy.

I like the way Susie is sitting.

Look at John all ready for our next activity.

We don't out our boogers there. Get a tissue.

anonymouse · 01-09-2021, 01:25 PM

Sanitize your hands before you go into the classroom.
Did you wash your hands?

Opal · 01-09-2021, 01:32 PM

Push your chair in

Did you use hand sanitizer?

Mask on nose.

Quiet feet and hands

I like what you are doing

Tell me what you mean by that

Unmute

tia · 01-09-2021, 01:36 PM

"Would you have done that if your mom were standing right behind you?"

"The 'Excuse me' should be just as loud as the belch."

"Read the board." OMG--I want to jerry-rig a Staples "That was easy" button and wear it around my neck so I can just press it 73x a day! All the information is literally written On. The. Board, and I included pictures. :/

all41 · 01-09-2021, 01:38 PM

Can I give 2 more?

1. Your job is to take care of you. I will make sure everyone else is doing what they need to do.

2. What are you doing? What should you be doing? Please do that now.

Bonus

Read the direction first!

momteach310 · **so many....** 01-09-2021, 01:50 PM

SALAMI! (stop and look at me immediately)

Put your marshmallow shoes on....

PEPteach · 01-09-2021, 02:39 PM

If you weren't listening, ask somebody who was.

Hands on top, everybody stop!

Hocus pocus, everybody focus!

Show me you're ready.

We aren't running, we're walking with purpose!

Make a better choice.

(Is it sad that I really had to think because most of these I don't use on zoom! Miss being with my kids!

)

ICrazyTeach · 01-09-2021, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Is this a question or a story?

And it's ALWAYS a story anyway.

It's crazy hair day at work (or pajama day, spirit wear day, whatever random dress up day)

anna · 01-09-2021, 02:58 PM

hush your mush
mind your own self

GreenBunny · 01-09-2021, 03:19 PM

Is there a reason you're talking over me?

tia · 01-09-2021, 03:22 PM

ICrazyTeach!

Quote:

It's crazy hair day at work (or pajama day, spirit wear day, whatever random dress up day)

Yes! And i ALWAYS have to stop somewhere on the way home!

Linda/OH · **teacher talk** 01-09-2021, 03:59 PM

Do your happy dance for a Snow Day!

Keltikmom · **Teacher sayings** 01-09-2021, 04:17 PM

What do you already know about the problem?

Did you read the directions? (Though, this could also be a wife

)

Stop touching that. Stop touching that. Stop touching that.

sbslab · 01-09-2021, 05:00 PM

Pull up your pants before you come out of the bathroom, please. (pre-K)

(When asked to answer a question via G-Meet by my colleague...) Dude, you are NOT frozen. We can see the curtain moving behind you. (True story, 7th grade)

I say when class is over, not the clock on the wall. (Middle school)

hiker1 · 01-09-2021, 05:10 PM

There's no crying in kindergarten!
"No more Mrs. Nice Guy. You're doing this independently."

word girl · 01-09-2021, 05:16 PM

"Heads in a row so we can go"

"Who are you in charge of? Who do you need to worry about?"

Sometimes it's just the teacher tone. True story, one time I was in NYC and we were waiting at an intersection. My son stepped out and I said "stop" in the most teachery voice that not only did he stop, but a random dude jaywalking sheepishly stepped back onto the curb!

MalloryJames · 01-09-2021, 05:19 PM

"We raise our hands, not our voices."

MightyTeach · 01-09-2021, 05:28 PM

Thumbs up if you can hear me.

Turn in your work.

Englishish · 01-09-2021, 05:57 PM

If you can’t read it, why do you think I can?

BioAdoptMom3 · **Pre-K** 01-09-2021, 07:37 PM

Everyone who goes to sleep at naptime today gets a sticker!

Sit on your sitters!

FREEZE!

Don't you dare put that bead up your nose!

Go ahead. I have Santa's number right here in my phone!

Nancy

DiamondGirl · **Teacher** 01-09-2021, 08:12 PM

Wednesday is an ASYNCHRONOUS learning day.

Cameras on mics off.

Your mics on. Do you have a question?

Stop playing Fortnite and start your assignment.

We don't really need to see you doing backflips during math class.

Your screen is all jumpy.

I can't hear anyone.

I had to go get my charger.

HarperMoon · 01-09-2021, 09:03 PM

Listening ears on.

Are you bleeding?

Gromit · 01-09-2021, 09:08 PM

Is your comment related to what we’re doing now?

Class is over when I say it’s over, not when the clock says it’s over.

Who can answer Johnny’s question?

illinoisteach · **these days...** 01-09-2021, 11:26 PM

I'm turning off chat now.
Don't forget to come back at (insert time).
Thumbs up if....

Quote:

Wednesday is an ASYNCHRONOUS learning day.

And if I never hear this word again, I'd be a happy camper!

Coopsgrammy · 01-10-2021, 07:35 AM

Please don't lick the pencil sharpener.

LazyLake · 01-10-2021, 08:04 AM

1,2, 3, eyes on me

Touch your name on the top of your paper.
(meaning, check to see if you actually put your name on your paper after I instructed you to do so AND gave you time to do so.) Pet peeve of my- seeing a few no names on papers when grading them, having to go back to enter a few grades in the grade book after solving the mystery.

basketball777 · 01-10-2021, 08:40 PM

lol I think I know which FB teachers group this is from