[GreyhoundGirl]

I started a new job and I’m the virtual 4th/5th grade teacher for sped kids in the district. I teach reading, writing and math. I have 30+ kids over 6 buildings.

I’m not case managing, but I am collecting data and attending all IEP meetings.

All the case managers transferred their kids to me. They were all great. They offered to meet with me, tell me about the kids and then left me to it, except one.

Here’s the problem: I have one case manager that is having problems letting go of her kids. I’m getting 6-8 emails a day, she’s constantly questioning what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. I know she has positive intentions and is having trouble letting go.

I feel like she’s inadvertently setting me up to fail. She’s not following through on things, won’t communicate on important things, overcommunicates on dumb things and won’t let me do things my way.

Here’s what I’ve done:
1) reached out for advice so she feels valued
2) taken everything she’s offered
3) changed my writing plans (she was totally right)
4) followed through on everything o said I’d do

My biggest issue is she insists on doing things HER way and then she doesn’t send me what I need to do it so I can’t even see if HER way is something that would work for me.

I’m looking for any and all advice and suggestions. I’m afraid she’s going to tell our bosses I don’t play nicely and am not open to ideas.

Thank you for reading this far.

[Youthcantknow]

I wonder if being virtual is contributing to this problem. We used to get to know each other through small conversations in the hallway, the faculty room, and popping into each other's classrooms but all of that is missing now. Some of those emails may be the things she'd say in those informal conversations. Have you tried having a Zoom meeting just with her? Maybe she could get a bunch of it out of her system all at once. You could make a big show out of writing it all down and validating her while trying to reassure her at the same time that the kids are in good hands with you.
Good luck with her - having to deal with six buildings sounds really challenging.

[GreyhoundGirl]

Yep, we’ve Zoomed and talked on the phone.

[WalkDontRun]

It’s always something with SPED isn’t it! It sounds like you have bent over backwards to be understanding. I think it’s strange that she is hounding you about little things but blowing off the important things and wanting you do do thing her way. She’s probably always controlling to some degree!

Could you remind her that you have students from multiple case managers so you have to find what works for all students, not just hers. You can’t tailor your lessons for all students around her expectations only. She should understand that whether she likes it or not.

Sorry you are dealing with this especially since you are new to the district and of course you want to be seen as a team player, but you have too many students and lots to juggle. She is being incredibly selfish instead of supportive.