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Legitimate alcohol question
Old 06-19-2022, 05:15 PM
  #1

I don't drink alcohol. Ever. I have lots of reasons for it, but in the end I don't drink. I'm lucky that my friends are understanding and never question me. When we go out I drink water.

On the rare occasion I get a soda I get such horrified looks it's shocking.

Here's my question: Why is it so acceptable to drink glasses and glasses of wine or multiple beers or margaritas, etc, but a soda is horrifying?

I know in the case of my closest and personal friends it's just because I almost never drink anything but water so it is surprising. But even when I go out with stranger a regular Coke is appalling. Why? It doesn't impair my judgement. It's not illegal regardless of my age. It doesn't contain any more sugar than a margarita.

Why is alcohol more socially acceptable than a Coke or Dr. Pepper?


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Old 06-19-2022, 05:23 PM
  #2

I think people have a long way to go in regard to accepting non-drinkers (alcohol) without asking "Why?" I guess your friends are so used to you only drinking water that a Coke is a surprise. I'm not sure a Coke is socially unacceptable, but it might be out of the norm for some people.. Those that don't know you definitely shouldn't say anything.
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Old 06-19-2022, 05:25 PM
  #3

A lot of times, people push their social norms onto others. I'm not sure why it bothers them so much. Maybe they secretly think that others will judge them if they aren't doing the same.
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Drinking
Old 06-19-2022, 05:46 PM
  #4

I do not know the answer to your question, but I can relate. I went to a college that was a party school. I was in a sorority where there were a lot of keg parties. I hate beer. I got tired of telling people I was not drinking, so my answer to that was I would drink diet ginger ale. It foamed like the head of a beer, and people left me alone. Problem solved.

In my adult life, I donít mind an occasional glass of wine if I go out, or even in my home, but I would never comment on any beverage anyone ordered. That is their choice. My usual drink of choice is an unsweetened iced tea, however, especially if I am driving.
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Old 06-19-2022, 06:01 PM
  #5

I don't happen to drink soda or alcohol, and rarely am in social situations where people are drinking, but I have never heard anyone ask "why" about a soda. I'm not sure why they would.


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Old 06-19-2022, 06:07 PM
  #6

My teammate and I have joked for years that drinking a diet coke in public is now akin to lighting up a cigarette, because people are so judgmental about it. We will even say things like, "I have to finish this cigarette (diet coke) before I can go into the staff meeting." We thought it was REALLY funny when a couple of years ago diet coke's ad campaign was a very similar sentiment. It was all about "you do you and you don't worry about what other people say," and "I drink diet coke because I enjoy it and I'm a rebel" and things like that .

I think there has just been a whole lot put out there about how it's so bad for you, basically poison for your body, etc. although diet normally gets more hate than regular. My mom is diabetic, so I grew up drinking diet and as such I prefer that taste. In recent years, she bought into the whole "diet pop is poison" thing and now harrasses me about drinking it/tells me regular would be better. She mostly only drinks water and tea now. My dad has replaced diet pop with full sugar gatorade, regular pop, and full sugar coffee drinks (flavored lattes, etc.) How is that possibly better? Lucky for him, he was blessed with an amazing metabolism. I'd gain 20 pounds immediately if I started drinking that many calories.

That said, I almost always order diet pop at restaurants and can't remember anybody ever commenting on it. They may be thinking it, but they don't say anything. I don't drink and drive (even 1 drink) so it's not worth it to me to order alcohol at something like a dinner out. I will only do the uber/lyft/public transit thing if it's more of a "drinking event" (i.e. brewery hopping, wine tasting, etc.) and it's worth it to me to deal with transportation hassles. Now that I'm older, those events are very few and far between. If somebody made a comment I wouldn't hesitate to point out that their alcoholic drink wasn't healthy either.
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Hmm
Old 06-19-2022, 06:22 PM
  #7

Iíve never witnessed anyone being questioned judged for drinking soda with the exception of being asked about caffeine if itís late at night. I think itís rude to criticize or question people about their food/drink when out.
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Old 06-19-2022, 06:25 PM
  #8

This is such a sore point with me.

I donít drink alcohol or soda, yet Iíd never dream of commenting on othersí choices. I donít understand current rude observations. I donít understand inconsiderate people.

I attend a weekly event where we eat and drink, and Iíve never heard anyone comment on anotherís choice.

I like to be thin and my friends know it, but theyíve never once commented when I pig out.

What ever happened to manners?
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Old 06-19-2022, 06:30 PM
  #9

I donít know the answer to that one. Though I mostly only drink water, I will have an occasional alcoholic drink when my husband and I go out to jazz clubs on occasional weekends. I will not drink if I have to drive and if I am somewhere where people are drinking and I donít, I always say I have to drive and never drink and drive. No one has judged me for that.

I think that if someone I am with does not order a drink and I do, I usually feel like I have to explain why I did order a drink though I have never specifically been judged for that.
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Old 06-19-2022, 06:37 PM
  #10

I'm a social drinker, so I only drink a glass or 2 when others are drinking with me. DH doesn't like the taste of alcohol, so he drinks Diet Dr. Pepper or water when we go out. Nobody ever gives him horrified looks.

I've never questioned if someone wanted a soda instead of an alcoholic drink. I figure they're one of several reasons: DD, pregnant, hungover, teetotaler, or just not in the mood. No matter the reason, I can't imagine questioning someone.

I honestly don't think alcohol is more socially acceptable than a Coke. At least not in this area.


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Soda
Old 06-19-2022, 06:47 PM
  #11

I was surprised that you got that reaction. I do not know why people would care. I agree, it is better than alcohol.
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Old 06-19-2022, 06:52 PM
  #12

I get that those closest to you would react to you having soda, but strangers/acquaintances need to think before they speak.
I don't drink soda much AT ALL, like 3 or 4 times a year. When I do it's usually with my DH and each time he is shocked. He and about 5 others know that's a big deal for me.
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Old 06-19-2022, 07:13 PM
  #13

I have never heard anyone being questioned because they drank a soda, sweet tea, water, or anything non alcoholic.

I have heard people question someoneís alcohol choiceÖyou drink that sweet wine, cheap beer, etc
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Old 06-19-2022, 07:14 PM
  #14

My comment about others asking "why" should have been clearer. The "why" would be the question I have been asked when saying I'm NOT drinking. As I "why don't you want /drink alcohol." Not why are you drinking Coke?
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Old 06-20-2022, 01:50 AM
  #15

I never encountered anyone judging anyone’s choice of drink. That seems weird to me. I personally find coke gross, but could not care less who drinks it. I also don’t care what others think of my choices of what I eat or drink.
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It's happened to me
Old 06-20-2022, 03:26 AM
  #16

I have never been a drinker and back in the day if I went out to a bar or to dinner, I would order a diet coke. It used to happen in college and in grad school. I think for some people say it because it makes them uncomfortable because of how much they drink.

Before I became a teacher, I went out to dinner with some people from work. The waitress kept pushing some special cocktail and I said no, thank you. One of the people I was with told me I should have accepted the cocktail because I wouldn't want people to think I don't drink. The woman who made that comment had to be poured into a cab because she drank so much that night.
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:49 AM
  #17

That's interesting. In Wisconsin the pressure to drink alcohol is so overwhelming that it's one of the reasons that I generally just don't do those kinds of social engagements at all. In my last job, I even faced pressure from the P to go out and drink after school on Fridays in the name of "team building." I get tired of the assumption that, if I'm not willing to drink alcohol, then I must be a recovering alcoholic. In point of fact, I do have a good craft beer or a glass of wine on occasion, but never when I have to drive even a couple of blocks to get home.

I gather what you're saying is that the tide has turned against soda enough that people are starting to be judgmental about it. I don't think that's true here. I don't drink soda but I think if people looked at me crosseyed for ordering a Coke or Dr. Pepper here it would be because there's a soda bottling company in town and that's what you're "supposed" to drink if you're going to drink soda.

I think people should really just mind their own business, or at least try to. I admit I sometimes shudder internally when I see someone buy six 12-packs of soda at a time in the store, and if they have children I always hope they're not allowing kids to live on soda. But I truly don't care what adults order to drink when they go out.
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Old 06-20-2022, 04:30 AM
  #18

Quote:
On the rare occasion I get a soda I get such horrified looks it's shocking.
Are these reactions due to you normally getting only water? I could see the reaction if youíve gone out with them often and only ordered water then ordered a randomly soda.


Quote:
Why is alcohol more socially acceptable than a Coke or Dr. Pepper?
I do drink but Iíve never been in a situation with friends or when going out with colleagues where theyíve questioned anything Iíve ordered, maybe to ask if I liked something (drink or food) to see if they also wanted to order it but thatís it. Maybe this is more dependent on who youíre with and not actually a new societal norm?

I have multiple friends who donít drink, for different reasons (one is Mormon so it is religious reasons) and theyíll go out with us and there are no questions asked. Some of us order alcohol and some donít, no big deal.
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Old 06-20-2022, 04:30 AM
  #19

Sometimes, I have observed, that they feel when you are out, alcohol is for adults and soda is for children, water is neutral. Plus, if you are not drinking alcohol you are looked upon as a goodie two shoe or a party pooper.
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Old 06-20-2022, 06:33 AM
  #20

I have never given a second thought when people just order water or pop if we're out. I am a social drinker and don't care one way or the other what others drink when we're out.
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Old 06-20-2022, 08:49 AM
  #21

Are your friends expressing shock at your soda choice? But water is never commented on? If this is the case your friends are a bit judgemental and unkind. Their mouths are loose due to the alcohol and that's when the fur flies. If I were you I would be hurt by that. The mouthy friends think that your sugar calories are worse for you then their alcohol poisoning their liver. Not good or kind reasoning. You deserve to have fun with friends who do not judge what you are eating or drinking.
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I don't typically go out
Old 06-20-2022, 09:22 AM
  #22

with "friends" (I don't have many!), but I notice that people who have other drinks than water at staff meeting and stuff are looked at like we're nuts. My choice is usually coffee and someone always comments. There are times I want to make cracks about the gallon size jugs they all lug around or say something when they complain that they have to use the toilet constantly!

I don't know why anyone who's drinking alcohol of any type is casting aspersions your way when you order a soft drink. They shouldn't. Not their business. Like anna said (my paraphrase), how is your soda any worse than what they're drinking? And, if you don't comment about them slugging back the booze, what's their purpose? Is it some weird sort of peer pressure to get you to drink with them?

I'm sorry you're dealing with it. Pour up your soft drink, I'll get my coffee, and we'll laugh at their bad habits! Hang in there, GG! We love you!
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soda comment
Old 06-20-2022, 05:55 PM
  #23

I could be totally wrong, but I think people really demonize sugar. Barring an allergy or something like that, anything, including the evil cane sugar, is fine in moderation.
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Old 06-21-2022, 12:49 AM
  #24

I truly prefer water to any other beverage. For some reason that really horrifies some people.
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I don't drink
Old 06-21-2022, 07:33 AM
  #25

Never have, once I found out that I am allergic to beer and wine. I'm an old lady now, but did get questioned about it pretty regularly as a younger person. But I'm a bit of a smarta$#, and would generally reply, "My body, my choice," to someone rude enough to point out my non-alcoholic drink.
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Old 06-22-2022, 04:12 PM
  #26

I have definitely felt the tide turn against soda. My stomach is a mess and I can't have coffee in the morning, but I need caffeine. Diet Pepsi is my "drug" of choice. I know that at most schools, the kids shouldn't see you drink anything but water. Or, I guess if you have coffee in a mug, that's okay.

This past year was my first at a new school. I saw one teacher sitting at a picnic table (in full view of the children at recess!!) and she was drinking a soda and eating potato chips out of the bag. I wondered then if I had finally found my people.
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