Inappropriate touching of SELF in class-HELP! - ProTeacher Community




      
Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      ARCHIVE


Inappropriate touching of SELF in class-HELP!

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
FranklinQ
 
 
Guest

FranklinQ
 
 
Guest
Inappropriate touching of SELF in class-HELP!
Old 04-14-2009, 08:44 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

I've been following Cleopatra's challenge with a student who persists in touching others. I've got a curious one on my hands -- the first in more than a dozen years of teaching.

I've got a boy in my class who I've caught "rubbing himself" inappropriately during class on more than a couple occasions. I've talked with his parents and they do not doubt what I am reporting and are supportive of any effort to eliminate this behavior.

The boy admits that he has done this sporadically throughout the year, and understands that the behavior is wrong, but continues nonetheless.

He does not expose himself, and quite honestly it looks very innocent -- as though he's vigorously rubbing his hands together between his thighs to warm himself... so none of the other kids have noticed (yet).

His parents are at their wits' end, as am I.

He is an exceptional 7yo in my 3rd grade class doing grade level plus 5th grade math and is off the charts in reading and language. (Unfortunately, our district is small and has no real GATE-style resources, so we just have to do our best.)

I'd hate to see his record scarred with such a blemish, and worse, would hate to see him ridiculed by his peers for his behavior. He is very well adapted socially, especially given the age differences, and has many friends of both genders and is well-liked by everyone -- faculty and students.

We've tried reasoning with him, taking away privileges, his parents have worked from their end, but have told me that they are hesitant to employ corporal punishment fearing some sort of "issue" later in life.

He has no other behavioral problems whatsoever and is probably one of the most polite boys I've had in years... he'd definitely one of the brightest by a long shot.

The counselor has pushed the premise with him that his behavior is perfectly natural -- but that it is totally unacceptable in public. His parents agree with this approach.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before?


  Reply With Quote

cptjway's Avatar
cptjway cptjway is offline
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 721
Senior Member

cptjway
 
cptjway's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 721
Senior Member
Not aware?
Old 04-15-2009, 02:43 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

Is it possible that he is not aware that he is doing this? It might be a habit, or an unconscious act. Maybe you and he can agree on a signal that you give him when he is doing this, and he will know to stop.

I did have a boy who did this (it was a summer school enrichment class). I decided to talk to the dad when he came to pick up his son. Imagine my shock when the father did the same exact thing, while talking to me! Ugh! Fortunately, it was only a one week class.
cptjway is offline   Reply With Quote
anabel12's Avatar
anabel12 anabel12 is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,028
Senior Member

anabel12
 
anabel12's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,028
Senior Member
situation
Old 04-15-2009, 07:30 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

I've had several of these situations. I was advised to use a "code" word or signal that the parents and I would use as a signal to stop. It worked, sort of, but the children still persisted in the behavior. Lots of reminders, all the time. The fact that the child is first grade age in a 3rd grade class is a little complicated, because the other kids might pick up on the word and notice. Maybe you could walk by his desk and touch the corner of the desk, or something like that. Of course, someone has to have the conversation with the child. Parents, hopefully. It's easier with first graders... I would just tell them to put their hands on table, and no one was ever the wiser. Do you think there's any stress involved with being so young, even though he's very popular and capable, academically?
anabel12 is online now   Reply With Quote
FranklinQs
 
 
Guest

FranklinQs
 
 
Guest

Old 04-15-2009, 10:58 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

If he is under any stress, he's doing a great job of hiding it. I've been watchful (in general) since the beginning of the year precisely because of the age difference, as I've never had someone this young before -- well at least not in a 3rd grade classroom.

His parents are very open about this and are as frustrated as I am. They say that he has essentially eliminated the "in public" issue at home and elsewhere, and that he's done a good job of keeping private things private. We've just got to focus on his in-class behavior.

I'm meeting with them this week for a mid-period conference and will be sure to bring this up again.

Thanks for your input and suggestions. At least I know I'm not crazy -- and neither is he!
  Reply With Quote
ESSTCHR
 
 
Guest

ESSTCHR
 
 
Guest
Touching
Old 04-15-2009, 12:42 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

If he understands to keep private things private at home, then he can do it at school, too. If a signal to stop isn't working, arrange a signal for him to go to the bathroom. Just be sure he understands that he is to go into a stall and close the door! Forbidding the behavior may make it more difficult for him to stop -- allowing it within appropriate parameters may destress the situation and help him ultimately stop. If he doesn't stop, at least he isn't doing it in public.

I'm sure you've investigated this, but are you sure there's no chance he's being abused? New older kid in the play group, new neighbor, anything out of the ordinary? Have they discussed this with the doctor? No signs of UTIs, etc? I'm sure everything's fine, but it's always a good idea to cover all of your bases.


  Reply With Quote
lou reed lou reed is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 19
New Member

lou reed
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 19
New Member
.
Old 04-15-2009, 01:23 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

It sounds like self stimulation. Is he autistic?
lou reed is offline   Reply With Quote
booklady57's Avatar
booklady57 booklady57 is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,376
Senior Member

booklady57
 
booklady57's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,376
Senior Member
I had a kid similar to this
Old 04-15-2009, 02:23 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

last year. He was not subtle--reached inside his pants pretty frequently. We just worked out a nonverbal signal for a reminder, and if that failed to do the trick I would send him to the bathroom. Not autistic--just a boy who found something that felt good! I hear that this year it has faded away.
booklady57 is offline   Reply With Quote
rmcteach
 
 
Guest

rmcteach
 
 
Guest

Old 04-16-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

This is probably way off base, because I'm sure that you are sure about what you are witnessing, but...could there be a slight chance that he is rubbing because he is itchy? Perhaps he is sensitive to the laundry soap that his underwear is washed in? Just a thought.
  Reply With Quote
tiggerchyck tiggerchyck is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 16
New Member

tiggerchyck
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 16
New Member
I had a child
Old 04-16-2009, 10:15 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

in my class who was autistic and did the same thing. We ordered for him a weighted lap dog. It was a blue dog that was about 3-5 lbs in weight and he sat it on his lap. The pressure seemed to relax him and he could not get his hands near there without physically moving the dog. I hope this helps you think of something.
tiggerchyck is offline   Reply With Quote
lynnylubner's Avatar
lynnylubner lynnylubner is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,110
Senior Member

lynnylubner
 
lynnylubner's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,110
Senior Member

Old 04-16-2009, 04:14 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

This happened at a school I worked at.

The boy would self-pleasure, get red in the face, short of breath, etc. He did it over his pants.

His parents and teacher discussed it, and his mother told him "masturbation" is like pooping: People do it, but it's private.

After that, if he was 'caught' he was sent home.
I moved from the school after that year and that consequence worked for that year, I don't know if it was a problem later.


lynnylubner is offline   Reply With Quote
Wheaten2 Wheaten2 is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 341
Full Member

Wheaten2
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 341
Full Member
cue
Old 04-19-2009, 07:23 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

I, too, had this experience. This fourth grader would put his hand down his pants and literally jump up and down in his seat! It was amazing to me that every child in the room didn't comment. I was concerned about both stress and possible abuse. When those were ruled out to the best of my ability, I just used a very direct signal. I put my hand on his shoulder and told him he needed to go to the bathroom. He did and then the behavior seemed to diminish. Sadly, he did move the next year. So I'm not sure if it reappeared.
Wheaten2 is offline   Reply With Quote
maggiesmom's Avatar
maggiesmom maggiesmom is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 728
Senior Member

maggiesmom
 
maggiesmom's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 728
Senior Member
5th grader
Old 04-19-2009, 05:43 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

I have one this year and he is driving me crazy. I have talked to him, the principal has talked to him and other teachers have also. I won't allow him to put his hands in his pockets or go to the bathroom unless the class is going. He is a special ed student with aschbergers (sp?) syndrome. He has above average intelligence but his obsessive behaviors have been a test of my patience all year.
maggiesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
subczy
 
 
Guest

subczy
 
 
Guest
lol
Old 04-27-2009, 12:00 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

I had this happen w/ some of my kids I had in my daycare. What I usually did was explain about time and place for that the first time or two. AFter that I simply tell the child ot go wash their hands. If they do it often they really get aggrevated at having to stop wha tthey are doing to go wash. Interrupting their play usually makes it stop pretty quickly. So that is my suggestions. NExt time, explain again about time and place and let him know that if you see him doing it you will have him go wash his hands(even if they were on the outside of this clothes).
  Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
ARCHIVE
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:27 PM.


Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net